Thighs Wide Shut

Blue Valentine
Putting The ‘Mar’ In Marriage
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Heartbreak & ache never felt so painful, and perhaps never looked so good, as it does in Derek Cianfrance‘s Blue Valentine.  We saw this over 2 months ago, and it is STILL tearing our insides out.  We dare you to not walk away feeling the same.  TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!  Flick begins with Ryan Gosling & Michelle Williams‘ (both handing in their bestestest performances to date!!!!) marriage in freefall.  The death of the family dog doesn’t help matters, and neither does that ominous, haunting yet fantastic Grizzly Bear-led soundtrack.  A ill-fated, drunken trip to a seedy motel with a future-space themed room (see below) aint the cure neither (for the couple, and apparently for them basterds over at the MPAA).  Where did their love go so wrong?  Luckily we’re treated to the happier, more tender moments of their union in flashback, but when we’re brought back to the unpleasant present, that shiny happy people shiz only makes for more blue on the Blue.  The Notebook can eat Blue Valentine‘s a$$, and so should you!

Heartmake Hotels: haven’t been able to figure out if B Val‘s theme motel hactually eggsists, but does it really matter when the Madonna Inn and its 110 themed rooms does???

but they don’t have a future-space room!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Valentine plays the Blues in NY & LA only this Wednesday, and expands to more cities January 7th

+ no time for a belated review of a movie that was released 6 months ago, but The Agony & Ecstasy of Phil Spector [trailer] is a great wall of sound AND sight!!  to know him is to love him!!!  and he hates Tony Bennett & loves Ben Wallace’s afro!!!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Wendy And Lucy
Bare Bones
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Girl named Wendy (Michelle Williams) on way to Alaska. She has short haircut and is sad (Heath’s death?). Her car breaks down not in Alaska. She have no money. She seem have no family or support. Gets arrested for shoplifting. Loses beloved dog (Lucy). Searches for dog. Sometimes walks places. Sometimes takes bus. Don’t want to ruin anything but she finds dog. Meets people along way. One is nice old guy with bushy eyebrows who guards parking lot (Wally Dalton). He wise. If he so wise why he have such shitty job? Will Patton in movie. Why? Dunno, definitely not for money cause movie made on $4 budget. Trailer alot like SherryBaby’s, cause it be touting the brave acting performance over everything, that cause there aint nuttin else. Is movie Arty? Yes. Boring? As balls! If see, bring pillow, but no need bring sleep medicine. Movie coma inducing enuff as is. We actually napping whilst writing this cause remembering movie make us tired… tired of arty farty movies that borings us to deaths. Michelle Williams is great though, but haircut even greaterer. Movie where she loses dog, finds dog, doesn’t eat hot dog, not so great. Movie directed by lady who made Old Joy. Haven’t seen it, but after dog movie, don’t really care to. Excuse please, must go back to sleep

Stand, Ubu, Stand! And Be Proud: we’re still waiting for a movie to be made about UBU Productions and its beloved dog of the same name. That logo be the 10th bestest of all thymes according to yours drooly

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

W&L opens in NY today, LA on Friday and elsewhere elsewhen

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…