The Flowqueens of ‘14.5

1) Jodorowsky’s Dune

The greatest doc ever made about the greatest film never made, EVER!!  So many ‘what if?‘s AND ‘what the f#$k??!!!‘s to shake your head at

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2) Whiplash

Dude, WHIPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2.5) The Trip to Italy

Lightening strikes twice as Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take their thick shtick to Italy.  Hilarity ensues at every blip on the map.  AMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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3) The Babadook

Are the things going bump in the night all in their heads?  Too late, they are now in our heads too!  BABA-DOOK DOOOK DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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4) Mr Turner

Literally watching paint dry – and it’s amazing!!!

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5) Foxcatcher

Carell’s nose, Ruffalo’s beard and hairline + Tatum’s sad face = Pinned-trest-ed!!!

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6) Nightcrawler

Jake Gynenhehahehallllll is watching you.   Watch him back

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7) The LEGO® Movie

Toys with our emotions in the best way possible.  It also happens to be funniest Will Ferrell flick in half a decade

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8) Inherent Vice

Katherine Waterston continues her ‘brave’ (read – ‘nude’) work in cinema

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9) Dawn of The Planet of The Apes

Going ape-sh!t, again

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10) Citizenfour

The year’s best thriller is not only based on a true story – it is THE truest true story!

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11) The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Unibrowser Yowzers!!

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12) Boyhood

Seamless production and process like none other make up for a somewhat lacking narrative.  Bring on Manhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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13) The Double

Every movie needs Jesse Eisenberg.  So why not have two Jesse Eisenbergs???

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14) Step Up All In

If you’re not in, you are OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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and now for the…

Honor Blackmanable Mentions

The Fault In Our Stars / Get On Up / Interstellar / Jersey Boys / Lucy / Palo Alto / X-Men: Days of Future Past

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the week of the Oscars 

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Mr Turner
In Living Watercolor
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 150 min

Mike Leigh‘s movies are works of art, so it’s no stretch for the master to take on another. He did it before with much fun and flare about Gilbert & Sullivan in 1999’s Topsy-Turvy, and he does it again, with JMW Turner in his lush AND drab Mr Turner

You should go see this, no questions asked. Why? Wait, that’s a question. Well, as we’ve said before… When a Mike Leigh film is released, without question, you should go and see it. The man is incapable of bad filmmaking, and if you’ve seen anything he’s made, we’re sure you’ll agree

In Mr Turner, Leigh paints JMW’s life with very broad strokes, but he certainly pours on the minute details. It begins with Turner at the height of his career, and follows him to the coughy-end, when photography was on the rise, and his style of painting and his health was on the decline

Leigh couldn’t have reached the finish line so masterfully if he hadn’t turned to longtime collaborator Timothy Spall to embody the big bodied painter. Spall’s performance is of few words, but many many many grumbles, sneers, blurps, and gasps of breath, and it’s engrossingly amazing

The film is literally watching paint dry, and yet it’s the opposite of boring + it’s a Mike Leigh film, which means you should go see it. Why? NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Mr Turner turns it on today, in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…