Thighs Wide Shut

Happy 24th Lohan/hag!
FU & yer fire crotch, and Shaq-Fu and a coo-coo Kung Fu?!?!

[via Levittown]

An RBI Wedding

picture of a groom and his boyz playing RBI Baseball 10 minutes before his wedding
[via Gantry’s RBI Baseball Page]

Nintendo Power Issue 1 – 1988 July/August was our bible

Birdo can lick our balls!!!!

fact: we’ve been burned more by the blue candle
than we have by women

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, (select,) start changed our life and probably yours

who doesn’t love the ‘Screw Attack’?

RBI B-BALL IS MORE LORD THAN TRACI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goonies II was vastly underrated, even at # 13

what heaven once looked like

stop whatever you is doing
and start doing whatever Super Mario Crossover is!!!

SMC yumcredibly lets you play Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros with Link from Zelda, Bill from Contra, Simon from Castlevania, Mega Man from himself or Samus from Metroid [via JoBlo twitter feed]

Clash of The Titans
Remember Forget The Titans
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Clash of The Titans is unwatchable in 3-D, unwatchable in 2-D, 1-D or any other dimension that’s humanly or godly possible.  Imagine a mis-mash-up of HBO’s Rome, Lord of The Rings, Avatar and King Kong, but carbon monoxide copy versions of all of them and you might begin to have the slightest idea of what out loud laughable garbage yer getting yerself into.  Yet you should even come close to getting yerself into a theater that’s playing this.  It’s so lazy and bland and boo that it makes the putrid 300 come off as klassic as Homer’s The Odyssey.  We’d rather waste 12 hours trying to win Nintendo’s bare bones Kid Icarus than ever dare watch this again with a bag of a kid’s licorice.  You’d think that the addition of 3-D would be a gift of the gawds, but it actually helps (or hurts) to show juss how poor and flat the CGI effects were constructed.  Hell, those effects are so busted that they even make the orignal Clash of The Titans look as mindblowing as Terminator 2.   Do yerself a flavor this weekend, skip this, stay home on Saturday and watch yerself a real sword and sandal, man vs immortals epic that still rocks the cashbar 50+ years later: Cecil B. DeMille‘s Ten Commandments

Louis Leterrier is no DeMille, and Sam Worthington‘s time on Middle Earth is coming to end (who keeps hiring this two-note guy? he’s like a less annoying Gerald Buttfingerer in the body of a roided up Pierece Brsnon) and Ralph Fiennes should win 9 Razzies and the only thing about Liam Neeson that shines here is his stoopid armour and Gemma Arterton is cute, but you can also remove the ‘e’ since her and her character should have been cut and Mads Mikkelsen should be mads at his agent and Luke Evans and Liam Cunningham might be the same person and Hans Matheson is Mans Hatheson and didn’t Polly Walker already do this regal lady of the kingdom thing on Rome (WATCH ROME OR ELSE!)  and Jason Flemyng was phlegmy and Pete Postlethwaite carries no weight here and what did the two kids from Skins (Nicholas Hoult & lil sis Kaya Scodelario) do to deserve this?  No one deserves this.  Remakes should either juss remake the original verbatim or up the ante for a whole new generation of people who never bothered to see the original version.  Neither option was applied here.  Actually nothing was applied here. It’s NO myth

Kid & Play: play Kid Icarus

Verdictgo: wurst in show aka Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous

Titans nash-ills in a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…