Thighs Wide Shut

Sympathy for Delicious
Healing Wounds All Time
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
NR | 96 min

We don’t go into directorial debuts by actors with a roll of the eyes, we go in with eyes wide open (we actually do that with every movie now), cause who knows, maybe they’ve got talent… or maybe they should juss stick to their day job.  Clint Eastwood remains the pacesetter.  Even actors we can’t stand like George Clooney have proven more than capable.  Even someone like Madonna, who isn’t much of an actress, gave it a shot, and while most loathed her Filth & Wisdom, we found it lithe & not so dumb! So why shouldn’t Mark Ruffalo give it a go?  He knows acting, and always seems to pick good movies to be in (uh, Zodiac?), so why not????

Ruffalo’s Sympathy for Delicious may have an awful name, but it is not awful.  It’s not exactly delicious either, but it certainly has a taste!  It’s a good ole first try, and a promising sign of Ruff’s skill in the director’s chair, but ultimately its a mess of holy ideals, backed up by a band no one would want to rock out to.  The script, about a overly bitter homeless wheelchair-bound man named ‘Delicious’ Dean O’Dwyer (oh, it’s HIS sympathy, eh?) who one day realizes he has the ability to heal others, is inspired, especially since it was written and lead performed by wheelchaired Christopher Thornton, but it aims a lil too high for a film that can’t fully back up its sermon.  A priest (Ruffalo) and rock group (headed by a too-over the top Orlando Bloom, backed-up by a too Juliette Lewisish Juliette Lewis, and managed by a too greasy Laura Linney) both take advantage of his unwanted gift for their own ends, and if you’ve ever seen Tommy, you know this won’t exactly end heavenly. So Ruffles couldn’t make a delicious modern Tommy, but he tried and he didn’t fail, and for that, we can sorta take it

Noah Emmerich co-stars as a fellow ironsider, and besides Thorton and Ruffalo, he totally hits his marks.  He’s so good at playing a sad sack in an ugly sweater, which should not be confused with ugly nutsacks in a sad sweater

The Wheel Deal: Larry David has never had luck when dealing with the handicap on Curb, and especially those in wheelchairs. here’s a memorable altercation with Mr Thorton over the Cobb salad

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Delicious isn’t eggggzactly so in NY & LA theaters AND on VOD this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed, but Morgan aint…

Fair Game
Plame Duck Hunt
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Remember that whole Valerie Plame affair?  That was so 2003!!  Well, if you 5got:  the Plamester was that superfly CIA agent who was outted by her own government as payback against her rebel rousing hubby Joe Wilson, who dared to speak out against the Bush administration’s dubious claims of weapons of mass destruction existing in Iraq, which we all know was the pre-text for going to war.  So what is the Doug Liman directed, Butterworth Bros scripted (based on the books by Val & Joe) flick all about?  The above description, but with a slightly deeper look at how it affected their careers, marriage and home-life!!!  Can you imagine?  You want to do nuttin but help yer country, and when you try to help it in the best possible way, the country takes a giant dump on you and then you can’t even help yerself!!!!  AND then you have to take care of your kids by like feeding them and taking them to playgrounds, and STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

A brave, but quiet Naomi Watts (originally slated to be Nicole Kidman) and an irated potato-head Sean Penn shine in the juicy lead roles (it’s like a less depressing/nude 21 Grams reunion!). They’re surrounded by bunch of quality actors doing fine in nothingish roles, like Sam Shepard, Bruce McGill, Brooke Smith, Ty Burrell and Noah Emmerich, and everything else is fair enuff to be totally watchable.  Yet, truth be told, we actually prefer the fictionalized version of the same events, from a different angle, done up with more drama and intrigue in 2008’s little seen Nothing But The Truth. In Truth, Kate Beckinsale plays a Judith Millerish character who refuses to divulge her source who was the leaky cauldron in a Plame-like outting (Vera Farmiga), and paid the price for doing so by going to jail.  Both films accomplish the same goal, bringing delicate real-life situations of fighting the power to light in a moist entertaining way, and lets its viewers walk away questioning and distrusting all the President’s men.  You go girls!!!!

Platts!!!: Plame & Watts, instant hottie besties!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Fair is Game enuff this Friday in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…