Mad Max: Fury Road
Beyond BeliefAwesomeDome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 120 min

woah George Miller, WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You made 3 Mad Max movies that kicked ass 19ever ago, then went soft with pigs and penguins, but then you were like, fcuk it, I’m going back to the well, and I’m going to kick the fcuking ballistics to the nth degree and to the nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnth degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of describing in words what his new AMAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZINGGGGGGGGGG Mad Max movie is about and what it’s like, we’ll take a page from the movie’s book, and keep the talking to a minimum, and let the pictures do the talking

SHIZ was OUT OF FCUKING CONTROL, from start to finish, and was like this…

all other movies are not movies, cause

THIS IS A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beyond Hotttiedome:  I’m down for a post-apoclayptic world, but only if Cheedo the Fragile is my sex slave.  BLESS YOU COURTNEY EATON!!!

Verdictgo: BREAST IN SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go Mad for Max at a theater near jews this Friday

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Dark of The Imgination
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 157 min

T-III starts off with sum revisionist history of the moon landing, and it was like Houston, we have an awesome.  Everything after that was a bigger disaster than The Challenger space shuttle.  It’s so stoopid and beyond boring that it is hactually OK to compare it to such an awful tragedy in American history

This sums up everythings:  When Ken Jeong delivers your most ‘credible’ performance, your movie flat out sucks times 388737237739083478378478923767815281506507416561780570641756178657645164375816347856875643756786578134651873657813658761751656756745187651658745165765761756785617856875389389060547967076091780870934788765876586751678561874568765784365

OK, we do have to award 3 small bonus points for the employment of 80s Russian movie guy Elya Baskin, and funny white guys Andrew Daly and Alan Tudyk, but they and we all deserve better than this… anything but this

Never again Bay, NEVER AGAIN

And even if Bay isn’t doing the next one, there will be no next one for we

Michael Bay – Bad With Eye Diarrhea, Good With Eye Candy:

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Inna Korobkina

Meredith Monroe

Danielle Fornarelli

Elena Kolpachikova

Jesse ‘World’s Greatest Extra’ Heiman

Verdictgo: Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous

III is a giant #2 at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…