The Dictator
Autocratic For The People
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 83 min

We’re Sacha Baron Cohen fan #1, or somewhere close to it.  (Along with Ricky Gervais,) we believe Sacha to be one of the funniest people alive.  If you’ve delved into Da Ali G Show, cackled endlessly via Borat, or squirmed thru Brüno, you have to agree.  If you don’t, you don’t know what funny is.  Truly, you don’t.  Those films and da-t TV show were masterpieces of the highest kind because they were mainly unscripted moments that oozed hilarity with almost too much ease

So what happens when SBC goes all scripted (with help from three Curb & Seinfeld writers + Larry Charles back on board as SBC’s director)?  Not nearly as genius (how could it be!!), but anything not nearly as genius as the most genius of genius is pretty f#%king good, no?  Yep, The Dictator is pretty f#%king good.  It’s scripted Borat by way of Gaddafi’s Wikipedia page

Do you want to know the story?  You don’t need to, but it’s like You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, but actually funny, cause this isn’t an Adam Sandler movie, it’s a Sacha Baron Cohen movie.  This is what the world needs more of, but can SBC keep it up?  We’d love to see him try, cause his tries make everyone else’s comedic tries look like stick on a crap.  It’s true, cause most comedies are awful and have something to do with Judd Apatow

The supporting trio of Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley and Jason Mantzoukas do some very solid work, playing mostly straight (wo)men to the Supreme Leader, but the supporting doesn’t end with them.  This flick’s overloaded with comic talent, so much so, that some of dem folks don’t even get anything funny to do.  Normal boring roles here aren’t played by normal boring actors, but by the likes of Chris Parnell, Chris Elliott, Fred Melamed, JB Smoove, and Nasim Pedrad, to name a few.  But at the end of the day, it’s all about SBC, as it should be

moral of the story – do you like Sacha Baron Cohen?  good, go see The Dictator.  it’s not like Scott Rudin produces comedies every day!!!

She’s No Leo: spank gawd for that!!

Dominique DiCaprio!!!

Verdictgo: very high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Dictator dictates laughter at a theater near jews tomorrow

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Hugo
Méliès-y Shady of Winner
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 127 min

So, there’s this orphan kid (Asa Butterfield) who lives and works in the clocks of a Parisian train station.  When he’s not being chased by Sacha Baron Cohen with a mustache, he’s trying to re-build Bicentennial man.  When he’s not doing that, he’s stealing stuff from cranky ole toymaker Ben Kingsley.  When he’s not doing that, he’s hanging out with Kingsley’s ‘daughter’ Chloë Moretz, who is way too mature hot for being a 14 year old.  399393939 movie hours pass of them two kids running around, causing minor mischief and making endless lil ragamuffin faces, while also borrowing books from Christopher Lee, and listening to a bearded Michael Stuhlbarg talk about his boner for pioneer filmmaker Georges Méliès

Wait, what does Méliès have to do with all this?  Well ya see, Kingsley is not only a cranky ole toymaker, but HE’S ALSO GEORGES MÉLIÈS!!!!  But he doesn’t care about movies anymore, CAUSE OF WORLD WAR and MOVIES BEING TURNED INTO SHOES or something, but the kids care and so does his wife (Helen McCrory) and so does Martin Scorsese, who turns the last brilliant third of this movie into a love letter to early cinema AND a giant PSA for film preservation!!

moral of the story: it’s a kid’s movie where all the great stuff is about the adults.  the kids stuff should have been thrown out the window and this baby shoulda been all about Méliès, cause Kingsley hands in a f#$king crowning achievement performance as the cinemagician.  also, there should have been a naughty sex scene between SB Cohen and Emily Mortimer.  also, the 3-D is not as great as everyone’s making it to be.  also, they should have cut out 98% of the kids stuff and replaced it with 3-D clips of how hot Louise Brooks was, or maybe with some modern 3-D hotness like this!

Toying Around: art imitates life

Verdictgo: last third is beyond breast in show, but the first two-thirds keeps it a Jeepers Mos Def Worth A Peepers

Hugo is quasi-moto-awesome currently in a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

but before we go, imagine if Asa and Kodi Smit-McPhee switched Chloë movies!!!  LET THIS IN!!!

Chloë 9ever!!!