Thighs Wide Shut

Gravity 
The Airless Up There 
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 90 min

Love love love love love love love the space (and the fakery to make it look real) stuff goings on in Alfonso Cuarón‘s Gravity.  Don’t really love anything else about the movie.  It’s boring.  It’s characters are lame (Sandra Bullock) and smug and annoying (George Clooney).  There’s too much Murphy’s law being practiced.  There’s not enough aliens.  There’s not enuff space breasts.  There’s not enuff penetration of Uranus.  There’s a lot of tension, but it didn’t really make me feel all that tense.  Maybe it’s cause I was over-filled with udder delight & joy that George Clooney died in space!!!!!!!  SPOILER ALERT.  ooops.  oossps.  Being stuck in space is actually one of my biggest fears (even though I LOVEEEEEEEEEE space), but I didn’t fear what was going on in this movie 1 bit.  Why?  I dunno, I can’t really explain why I didn’t react to something that I probably shoulda had a reaction to.  Maybe it’s cause I could give about minus 15 sh!ts about Sandy Bullock and her troubles on earth and above.  This movie is no 2001, it’s no 2010 even, it’s certainly no Children of Men, and it’s kinda like a better SpaceCamp, but maybe not.  Sure, it’s beautiful and breathtaking, but it’s also beautifully & breathtakingllllly airless and dull

Verdictgo:  Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Gravity is grounded at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Extremely Loud
and Incredibly Close
Incredibly Cloying & Kinda Extremely Moving
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 120 min

When we told people we saw this movie, they had never heard of it, so we started calling it that ‘Tom Hanks 9/11′ movie.  That rang a few bells for some, but it’s hactually not fair to the film to label it like that… cause that sounds like a film no one would want to see (including us), and yet, it’s a movie you should see

Based off of the novel by Jonathan Safran Foer, director Stephen Daldry and writer Eric Roth walk a fine line between overwrought and amazing, and ends up with something that’s a happy medium of the two.  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a lot like other flicks Daldry has directed (The Hours, Billy Elliot, The Reader), in tone and presentation (and over doing the Oscar baiting), cept this is the only one we really liked.  You did it Daldry!!

And what’s the story September 11th morning unglory?  Tom Hanks dies in the Twin Towers, and his neurotic and curious and overly animated son (kid Jeopardy! winner! Thomas Horn) becomes even more neurotic and curious and overly animated.  He hungers for answers, and finds his question in the form of a key left behind by his dad with no known lock that it fits into.  This sets him off on (that’s an oxymoron!) a journey of discovery and self-discovery, which will not so sirprizingly, help him come to terms of departed endearment.  Won’t say much more, cause the journey here really IS the meat, and the key is simply an egg MacGuffin.  Horn is both annoying and incredible (hispecially during the scenes where he gets really amped up and we get these fabulous montages of what he’s babbling on about), and gets very solid support from mom Sandra Bullock (who’s kinda absent, in many ways, for 4/5ths of the flick), a mute Max von Sydow (was Chris Plummer not available to steal this role?), Viola Davis and Jeffrey Wright

The key thing to understand here is that while 9/11 looms heavy on the minds of the characters and the viewer, it’s not really a 9/11 movie.  It’s about a boy who loses his beloved father and how much that sucks balls.  His father coulda have died in a car accident, and the movie still woulda packed an emotional punch, and you still woulda wanted to punch the kid in the face… and then hug him 9ever

moral of the story: Daldry didn’t make a movie that made us want to jump out of a window like The Hours did.  YOU REALLY DID IT DALDRY!!!

Trouble in the Message Centre: best supporting answering machine of 2011 goes to the AT&T 1710/20, WHICH IS THE SAME EXACT ONE WE OWNED IN THE LATE 90s!!!!

remembering answering machines???

Verdictgo: very high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers

EL&IC gets close to your heart in selected theaters on X-Mas and everywhere on January 20th

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

pee es – the film has one of the würst posters EVERSSSSSS