Thighs Wide Shut

Bridget Jones’s Baby
Meet The Parents
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
R | 123 min

I was expecting nothing from the movie where Bridget Jones is expecting, mainly cause the trailer was so so so so awful Awful AWFULLLLLLLLL!!  It looked like a dreadful TV comedy of errors, and cheerie-o, pip-pip cheekiness, and thankfully, this third installment is none of that, although the soundtrack was cheesier than the world’s largest cheese sculpture 

Bridget Jones’s Baby finds BJ single again, but this time she and Renée Zellweger are thinner, and they both have a new face.  Bridget was much more charming with the girth, and those puffy red cheeks.  Same with Renée…

BUT, underneath this new face, today’s Renée Zellweger is still our same ye olde Renée Zellweger (who was like the Jennifer Lawrence of her time).  If you want to imagine the old faced Renée, you can particularly see it in any scene where she’s wearing glasses…

But for most of the movie she isn’t wearing glasses, but you start to get used to her face, in a way you start to get use to seeing what Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill look like today (which means they don’t look as good as Harrison Ford looks today)

OK, enuff about the face, and more about the actual movie… which stars FOUR Academy Award winners!!!  Joining Zel is former beau Colin Firth, pops Jim Broadbent, and new addition, as BJ’s doc - Emma Thompson, who also co-wrote the script!  Their accolades were not mentioned in said horrible trailer, but their skills punch up a movie that serves as nothing more than a delightful one that women will enjoy today and on cable TV for eons to come

Hugh Grant sat this one out, so the new rival for BJ’s affections is Yankee Patrick Dempsey.  I’m not much of a Dempsey guy.  I left him after Can’t Buy Me Love, and never got McSteamed up by any of his subsequent work.  He’s a good foil for Colin Firth in Baby, which makes the series feel a little new, while dwelling on BJ issues very old.  Plus, we forgot much of what happened in both of the previous movies, cause the last one was TWELVE years ago, so this threequel felt both new and old!  NEWSED!!!

Man, twelves years is a long time.  Last movie we personally saw Zel in was 2008’s Appaloosa and I didn’t even remember anything about that movie, especially the fact that she was even in it.  Had to look it up.  Anywho, we hold too much onto the past, but we need to move on. Renée’s face is what is, and now we’re ready to see it again in Bridget Jones’s Journey To Uranus

By the way, what’s with Jones’s?  Why not juss Jones’??  Didn’t these English people invent English?

And what’s up with Sarah Solemani and how come we’ve never have heard of her???  She’s like a Persian-English Winona Ryder!!!  Adorablezz!!!

Verdictgo:  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Jones for Bridget at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…