Thighs Wide Shut

Sean Lennon and Michael Jackson, at the Hoyt-Schermerhorn subway station in Brooklyn, where the music video for ‘Bad’ was shot, November 28, 1986

September 8th, thru the years

•Art Garfunkel AND Sean Lennon
The Allen Room @ Jazz at Lincoln Center
& The Fillmore NY @ Irving Plaza
April 13th

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Yes, in one night, I basically saw Art Garfunkel open for John Lennon’s son. Both shows were sorta homecomings, since both fellas originally hail from NYC, and both had some minor celeb thighspottin goings on (Art’s wife Kim and Albert Ham Jr at Sean’s show), but other den dat, the two shows didn’t have much in common. While Sean’s gig was bearific, at times it was a bit too mellow. DNA or not, the kid’s got talent, and on stage he mos certainly displayed it, but I sure wish he’d rock out a bit smores. Even when he played his bestest tune from his latestist (and yesh, bestestiestest) album, ‘Headlights’, tit twas a tad too and three underwhelming for my pastes. But hey, this is the cloestestest I’ll ever get to seeing John Lennon perform. Good call then for Sean to grow that hobo beard!

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As for Art, it’s was an absolute honor and a darn right privilege to see the Jewfro’d man belt out tunes again. When we last caught him and Paul Simon at MSG back in the ‘003, chills were endlessly running down our spine. Hell, it’s the greatestist concert we hath ever darn seen EVER. And yes, we mean that, even after seeing Public Enemy and Ice-T share a stage back in the early ’90s. While Art’s solo show aint a non-stop Bookends fest, the rest of the tracks he throws down, mainly covers since he’s not known as a songwriter, are still worth the price of admission. Don’t spank me and him wrong though, cause the ‘funk-master gives the peeps what they came to hear: the S&G masterpieces, like ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’, ‘The Boxer’, ‘Mrs Robinson’, ‘The Sound Of Silence’, and ‘Cecilia’, which was adorably dueteded with his teenaged son James, who, for butter or for wurst, is a spittin image of his papa, and even dances as poorly as his ole man too!

By the gay, before you die, u muss see one concert in The Allen Room. Probs the mos enchanting venues mt EVERESt and mt fuji!! Art loved it fo shazzles. When refs in his songs mentioned parts of NYC, he’d point out them thru the looking glass. Dude loves himself some come-ons from the whores on Seventh Avenue!