Camelot CameNOT
25. Apr, 2018 
0 Comments
Chappaquiddick
Sunk Political Aspirations
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 101 min
You’ve heard the names Chappaquiddick, Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne before, but do you truly KNOW the UNTOLD STORY between those three? I didn’t either, BUT NOW THE TRUTH CAN BE TOLD!!! IN MOVIE FORM!
CHAPPAQUIDDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!
And?
Chappaquiddick >Â Chappaqua
Chappaquiddick > quidditchÂ
Chappaquiddick > Japaquidbitch (whatever that means)
but fo’realz, this movie has more umph and gusto and infotainment to it in every inch of its being than the snoozefest The Post had in all of its snoozing. TAKE THAT THE POST!!! Take your Oscar nominations and shove em up yer a$$!
But I’m a sucker for faux Kennedy accents and novelty teef, and so I was THE target audience to watch Jason Clarke loom large as the Massachusetts Senator done bad and make dumb. You root for Jason as Ted, and you shake your head at him/them, and then you want to smack him like father Joe does (Bruce Dern, making quite the splash with limited strokes), and then you want hug him, and then you want to shrug him, and then you want to vote for him, and then you want to leave theater cause the movie has ended and there’s nothing left to see, but there was PLENTY to see, including Kate Mara drown, and Ed Helms be effective in a drama (when I didn’t think he could shake his funniness and be serious), and Jim Gaffigan do the same (although he barely has anything to do, and he’s still the biggest waste of CBS Sunday Morning screentime), and Clancy Brown with slicked back McNamara hair!!!
The truth has been told, or whatever truth they claim to be true, and I fell for it, hook, line and sunk-her
Verdictgo: Breast In Show
Chappaquiddick doesn’t suck dick at a theater near jews and white nationalists
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
