Eleven Movies From 2018 That Popped My Eyes More Than Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Did in Mary Poppins Returns

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1) Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Fred, won’t you be our everything?  You were.  And we need you to be again.  How do we bring you back to life???

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2) Eighth Grade

Our Bodies, Ourselfies.  SAIL AWAY!!!

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3) The Rider

From the heartland, this one goes straight for the heart (and it will tear it apart!)

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4) Green Book

Sappy? Yes.  Feel good?  OH so good!!!  It’s the historical buddy movie you never thought you needed!

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5) Three Identical Strangers

Who knew the Boys From Brazil could actually sorta be a reality?

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6) The Wife

A masterclass in acting.  Honored to be in the classroom

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7) Chappaquiddick

Hope doesn’t always float for our most beloved Massholes

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8) Filmworker

Who wouldn’t want to be Stanley Kubrick’s bitch?  Well, on second thought…

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9) American Animals

Fact and fiction blend into wonderful friction!

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10) The Favourite

Accessible Lanthimos, for those who have been seeking it.  Me, I just want more Lanthimos!

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11) At Eternity’s Gate

If they van Gogh it, I will come

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our annual anal movie awards – The Thighsmans – drops the Friday before the Oscars.  stay pooned and thirsty my friends!

until then, here’s the bestest films of yesterhere

2017
2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011
2010
2009
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
2003
& 2002

Three Identical Strangers
The Jewish Boys From Brazil
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 96 min

Triplets, adopted off to three separate homes within 6 months of their birth, and no knowledge that each other existed… until they miraculously found each other decades later and changed everything forever!  Hooray!!  Look at those smiles – best story ever, right?  Three Identical Strangers is definitely a best story (and a BEST documentary), but the brothers’ full story isn’t an endless trio of peaches and cream and sugar.  Things go bad!  Secrets are revealed!  And I won’t reveal them – but it’s like a Jewish version of The Boys From Brazil!!!  So fcuked up!  HAS TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!!! SEE!!  BELIEVE!!!! 

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

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Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
Seriously, How Could I Resist You???
Official Site | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 114 min

It wasn’t suppose to be like this.  The sequel was suppose to be another round of Dia Rrhea!, BUT IT WASN’T!!!  Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again dared me to have fun, and dogfcukingdammit – I HAD A SUPER FUN TIME!!!  It turned me from a super pooper into a SUPER TROOPER!!!!  It was like eating endless Skittles – a rainbow of sugary goodness!!!!  Did I get softer 10 years later or is the movie actually good?  Both?  Meryl Streep is basically absent, and even without the First Lady of Acting, the party goes on – and it rages!!  And while it’s somehow REALLY nice to see the old gang again, it’s even nicer to meet their younger version selfves (especially young Christine Baranski via Jessica Keenan Wynn, and young Julie Walters via Alexa Davies) through even more fun flashbacks!!  And we got new fun folks – like Andy García and Cher and Cher’s new face that can’t move, and she can’t really dance, but she still has them pipes so who cares if her body or face can’t move!  YOU CAN MOVE AND GROOVE IN YOUR SEATS ON HER BEHALF!

Now can we stop celebrating the songs of ABBA by way of karaoke, and get the band back together and on the road?  Heck, I’ll even take ABBA holograms! 

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Mamma nurtures at theaters everywhere today, and Strangers natures currently in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…