Jail, Caesar!
14. Jul, 2017 
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War For The Planet of The Apes
The Great APEscape
Official Site | Trailer & Mo
PG-13 | 140 min
If War For The Planet of The Apes is the final film of this current, modern Planet of The Apes saga cycle, then director Matt Reeves and co-writer Mark Bomback ended things on a fitting, and very high note.  Sure, War wasn’t nearly as grand or as great as Dawn was, but a lovely finish nonetheless to a refreshing set of movies that started with Rise, and hopefully leaves the door open for more simian sensations in the years to come
I don’t have much of a problem with anything that rages on in War, but it seemed like less of a War and more of an escape from prison flick, wrapped in Apocalypse Now, wrapped in a giant pile of snow.  Come to think of it – Dawn was more of a War Apes movie, and War is more like an Escape Apes movie, which should not be confused with my personal favorite Apes movie of balls thyme – 1971’s Escape From The Planet of The Apes
OK, so I’m gonna complain a lil bit… but when our beloved Caesar (motion-capture maestro Andy Serkis) [spoiler alert] gets captured in this new movie by the latest human menace nemesis Woody Harrelson (who I thought would be terrible in this movie, but he actually made it work), I don’t understand why he doesn’t take out the king of the apes right then and there.  He lets him live, and in turn, give his fellow apes in bondage hope.  Look, I get it.  If he kills Caesar in the middle of the movie, then it wouldn’t make for a good rest of the movie, but I dunno, maybe spice things up a bit?
Well, they did spice things up a bit. Â They give us an adorable mute human girl (Amiah Miller) taken in by the apes, who’s like Aliens‘ Newt for a whole new generation! Â And that plate faced orange ape Maurice steals the fcuking show and rocks the fcuking house being all smart and sensible and sensitive and juss all around awesome!!! Â Oh, and we get a NEW talking ape (Steve Zahn), who’s like the perfect comic relief for a movie that doesn’t have much to laugh at or relief from endless violence!
This new saga covered the Genesis and Exodus of the apes, but where do we go from here?  Planet of The Apes: Leviticus!!!
Verdictgo: high end Jeepers Worth A Peepers
Go ape for Apes today at a theater near jews and white nationalists
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
