Thighs Wide Shut

Due Date
No Planes, No Trains, Juss Automobiles
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Calling Due Date a newish Planes, Trains & Automobiles is no original notion, and no, there isn’t a ‘those aren’t two pillows’ moment, but if you’ve seen P, T & A then you’ve seen Due Date, but that aint necessarily a bad thing.  Decent comedies are tuff to come by in this post-ironic age and another P, T & A is eggzactly the thing we need.  Go Todd Phillips!  Did we hactually juss write that about this no frills director (who gives himself a lame cameo here)?  We did, and we’re sticking to that, for now.  How much you’ll like Due Date squarely falls on how much of a Zach Galifianakis being Zach Galifianakis fan you are.  If yer a mild to HUGE fan, then let the fun begin.  If you aint, then you should probably make a date elsewhere, cause this is a Zach attack!!!!!

Robert Downey Jr has the thankless straightman role of being an a$$hole to Galifianakis, but someone has to do it, so why not have it be done by one of the single greatestestestsst actors alive????  The two get into a world of trouble and a lot of fun on the road, for no better reason other than the script demands that they do.  Sure, some of the journey includes a bunch of dumbness and unrealistic side tracking, but it matters so little when the Bearded one/wonder nets more laughter here than he did in The Hangover. Ed Helms was an equal victor in Phillips’ last joint, but Zach shows he can shine when the spotlight is cast solely upon him.  His schtick seems like it will never grow old.  And if it does, then someone else of Greek decent with a beard will juss have to step up and take his place.  Hopefully that will never happen

The moist sirprizing aspect of Due Date is that it’s got plenty of heart to counterbalance the pot jokes and masturbating dog.  It also has Michelle Monaghan, Jamie Foxx, Juliette Lewis, Danny McBride and RZA as helping hands, and yet, no help is necessary when this is one giant sloppy wet Galifianakiss!!!  He was long overdue for a showcase, and so was we.  Win-win!

Shaven For Nobody’s Pleasure:  what ZG looks like w/o a beard

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Date is Due today at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Dinner For Schmucks
Send It Back To The Kitchen For Some Re-Warming
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

Putting today’s holy trinity of funny (IMO, or should that be In We Opinion?), Steve Carell, Jemaine Clement & Zach Galifianakis + adding in nice straight guy (playing mean!) Paul Rudd (and our sassy lassy Kristen Schaal!) in the same movie should equal NOTHING but comedy gold.  Anything less would be uncivilized! So why then does Jay Roach‘s Dinner For Schmucks feel like unoriginal pyrite material?  And why are we only served about 15-20 minutes of actual dinnertime and the rest is lukewarm appetizers of Murphy’s un-guffaw Law?  To be perfectly honestly, the 1998 Francis Veber film in which this is based on, Le dîner de cons, wasn’t even close to being humorous to begin with, and while writers David Guion and Michael Handelman elevate the material to at least a chuckle zone here and there, they can’t help but make the audience feel like the schmucks.  Ouch!

We don’t want you think that Schmucks is a bomb or a waste of time, cause it’s not (the mousterpiece dioramas by the The Chiodo Brothers are INCREDIBLE, and so is the beastly photo artwork by Clement’s character).  We know comedy is hard, but most comedies juss don’t try hard enuff… like this one!  Then again, this was well more enjoyable than Get Him To The Greek, Death At A Funeral (the remake), Hot Tub Time Machine and the Carell starring Date Night (do we even have to mention Cop Out?).  Knowing you alls, you’ll probably think the opposite is true, and let’s juss leave it at that you schumcks (we love you!!)

Final thought: Carell is leaving the comfy and well-written confines of The Office for the bumpy and poorly written ones of Hollywood flicks.  Look, he deserves all the money in the world, but he and we deserve better

A Lil Mo Than So-Szo: Stephanie Szostak plays Paul Rudd’s love interest in the movie, and a French maid in our wetty wet dreamzzzzzzzzzzz!

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Schmucks goes awe schucks this Friday at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…