Here Comes Your Man
01. Feb, 2005 
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When CTU super agent Jack Bauer had his back against the wall, and with his chronic heavy breathing problem reaching new heights, who did you think he called? Well, I was hoping and praying he really needed his daughter to wear a tight white shirt and run thru a car wash…
But instead, he called in the only man he could truss, THE MAN himself, Tony ‘THE MAN’ Almeida!!
Thank GORD! Cause I’m already sick of all the new characters (sans House of Sand and Fog family and Devanester). But hey, isn’t T-Money suppose to be in jail?
– World’s mos boringest couple calls it quits. They were afraid their kids would be too purty and bad at acting.
– Rhys Ifans, the coolest man with the cooliestest name, denied himself the pleasure to wife swap with Jude & Sadie. I bet he rejected their advances cause he wanted to sleep with Law, not Frost.
– Jennifer Garner Fed-Up With Pressure Look Beautiful. I feel her pain, considering that she really isn’t beautiful to begin with.
– Owen Wilson to grow a beard to shed the ‘stoner’ label he often gets. Yeah, good luck with that. Maybe you should help Wes Anderson on his next script to help shed the disappointment that was Steve Zissou.
– Jamiroquai to release a new album and tour in the ’05. I guess they didn’t make the Coachella line-up cause either they aren’t written about in Spin or are from the 80s.
– Sorry I’m days late on this, but merry belated peace the fork outing to
Architect Philip Johnson. The dude knew buildings, and how to kick some major glass.
– Tickets for the two Fiery Furnabests shows are already on sale. See you at the Bowery one. I’ll be the one drooling in front of the stage. [via B-Veg]
– Mind you, F.U.B.A.R. may lose its name and webmaster, but that doesn’t mean this shit is dunn like Warrick. Stay tuned.
– Since this site has been pretty much Lohan free for the past few months, yer more then welcome to head over to the Drunken Stepfather for all your Former Royal Thighnessness-ness.
– I don’t think this guy is a huge fan of his papa, yet he did give him one of the nation’s top honors… [via The Zack Attack]
– Own yer very own drive-thru strip club. Bidding is currently up to $300,999.99. [via Brawny Man]
– Play the world’s smallest version of Pac-Man right on yer own CPU. [via Metafilter]
– Spiderman Dos, Lego stizz. [via K To The P: Power]
– Looks like Mischa Mishka is back to her Falkor lookin’ ways. Well, at least it appears that way in this photo of her and Morgan Freebird. I guess she’s only attractive when she poses by herself or with a pair of Keds. Who cares, she’s still so alluring that I’d ride her like 1/9 train. Psssst, don’t you dare tell Cuthbert or her former TV dad what I just said. I want to live to bone tomorrow. [via ONTD, Skeeter, & the love/one below, Mischa-B.com]
