They Shoot Like A Girl

The Heart of the Game
Nuttin But Net
Trailer

Two miraculous things happened right before my very own eyes. The first is that I saw people clapping and rooting loudly at a taped basketball game on film like they were in Vega$ for the NCAA Tourney. The second is that I lived after watching 102 minutes of women’s basketball, which is 9.27272727(repeated) times more minutes than when I watched the Lady Terps triumph over the Duke Rapists, which was the first time I watched women’s b-ball since my Rocket Pride Rocket Power days. That right there should tell you there’s sum-tang quite special about The Heart of the Game, the captivating and truly heartwarming doc about a UW taxation teacher (who could pass for any pudgy bearded teacher with a great dry wit that you may have had), who decides to give high school basketball coaching a try, and the girls who’s lives and figures he shapes over the course of a handful of seasons. While not as epic and stu-pen-dis as Steve James’ slam dunk, it’s still worthy of being dubbed by meself: Hoopette Dreams.

That brief but summationious summary pretty much sums it up, so now I’d like to take the opportunity to pass along a note to any aspiring documentarian, or filmmaker for that splatter: please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please STOP SHOOTING ON Digital Video. Sure, no budget cinema was cool for all of 10 minutes in the mid to late 90’s (see 10 minutes and then some of T Vinterberg’s mid to late 90’s Dogme95-a-thon The Celebration), but enuff already. Slain and pimple, movies shot on DV look like crap, or like a real film that’s been shat upon and then taken to the dry cleaners who try their best but still can’t get the shat upon stains out. Look, I know film stock is eggspensive as hellz, but it’s worth it. So do whatever you have to do, sell yer dad’s sperm, yer mum’s eggs, and yer brother’s worthless unopened boxes of 1990’s Pro Set NFL cards, but stop torturing my eyes. Plus, film is forever, and digital video is fornever, or maybe even for Fenella Woolgar

Recommended for those who like: Christopher Brian Bridges‘ vox, Jimi Hendrix and Quincy Jones’ high school, and the second ever female Harlem Globetrotter

Possible Porno Name: I Heart-On Your Gams and Yams

Unsatisfied with this? Netflix last year’s DV wunderkind Murderball [trailer]

Apt MPupil3: ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor [d]

IMDb Sweeney: someone by the name of The Angel not only scored this film, but also worked some of dat magic for Boiler Room (REMEMBER THE MUSIC??? neither do I). Anywho, I have the feeling that she may be related to Drexl Spivey, but then again, I’ve been known to make mistakes, from time to time

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): A doc that works = Breast In Show

Opens this Friday in NY/LA, and elsewhere whenever LOSERS

until next time, the balcony is clothed…