Hang On To Your Viggo

The Road
Bleak of An Eye
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

The Road is about a nameless man (Viggo Mortensen at his rugged ruggedness bestness) who travels by foot with his nameless son (Kodi Smit-McPhee, who’s no Max Records!) to nowhere. Wells, they do have a vague destination in mind (the ocean!), but really are juss trying to survive by simply living. While society and the earth itself has crumbled to pieces (we don’t get to witness tit tat all, which is completely fine, cause moist of the time shiz is scarier when you don’t know the why or how), the man doesn’t want to give up on humanity or his son, even though everyone else has, including his wife (Charlize Theron, seen in flashbacks, which we believe wasn’t a part of the book). The two meet all kinds of other desperate and unsavory souls on their path to anywhere but here, from cannibals, to thieves and the hopeless (including a barely recognizable Robert Duvall), and one can see that even when all is lost, love can still mean something. Oh boy, man, did that man love his boy! Not in that way you sick forks!!

Yeah kiddies, this a total debbie downer to the creme de^menthe degree! Even when there’s a slight ray of hope, it’s usually preceded or followed by very bad stuffs. Tis like the dirty emptiness of Children of Men with less people, future gadgetry or blow up pig balloons, with an added bit of The Mist‘s twists and burns. To be honest, we have not read Cormac McCarthy’s book, cause we’re ill-litter-rate. And where director John Hillcoat (The Proposition) and writer Joe Penhall‘s take on the material treads, we may never want to learn how to read, let alone go down that ROAD again. We don’t mean that in a bad way twatsoever, but why would we want to endure the there will be blood, sweat and tears in a word form after digesting the horrific beauty that was painted in the cinematic version? Kinda a hard film to recommend, but how could we not when it’s the mos visually spectacular one of the 2009, although it would have been of the 2008 had they released it when theys was originally planning to. Maybe they wanted to show Roland Emmerich how it’s really done. Too bad more will flock to his 2012 than see The Road. Now you tells we, who needs an effin apocalypse to tell us that humanity barely eggists anymo?

Where They’re Going We Need Roads!!!: The Road chomps its own scenery, filming at actual ravaged or worn places like Mount St. Helens, hard hit Hurricane Katrina spots of Louisiana, and, as thighposted before, the Abandoned Pennsylvania Turnpike (we are so going there ones day!)

Verdictgo: Breast In Show. duh, cause dystopia is dope!

The Road knows no bounds today in limited release. seek it out or be eaten by cannibals!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

ps – was kinda odd to see Viggo married to Theron onscreen cause Theron’s real life beau is Stuart Townsend, aka the man picked to play Aragorn in LOTR, but who was replaced 4 days into shooting by… VIGGO!!!