Thighs Wide Shut

we say ells yeah to Spanish Elle‘s NSFW ladies in the water spread, hispecially since our main chica Leonor Watling was included…

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painted nekkid NSFW chicks playing soccer [Fishki]

NSFW tailor we want to work on our pants: Lana

unusual NSFW book find

& a dude making sorta NSFW sweet love to a giant Cheeto made outta tons o’ Cheetos

classic photos done up LEGO style

+ Life mag takes a look at the famous V-J Day Kiss 50 years after the fact

here lies Frank Darabont’s Indy 4 script?

every Simpsons couch gag

The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema

the set evolution of Jeopardy!

more passionate NSFWness between Henry the VIII and Natalie Dormer

50 Olympic Logos from 1924 till 2016 + mo from the 2016 applicants

calculate duration between two dates

What the Heck is Mortines?

Official Traumatizer :: Large Marge

&

the decline and fall of Western Civilization as seen through the medium of Jell-O [NotCot]

too bad André the Giant is no longer with us
cause we know he loved the lizadies
and we’re sure he’d love these giant lizadies…

plenty mo @ unclekuntz’s flickr flazzle

how was yer weakend? were you sweatin balls like wees were in Nueva York? a huge middle fingers goes out to anyone claiming they like the summers here cause they blow worse than Rob Schneider as an Arab taxi driver, although the summer means that fooball is juss around the corner. who-ray!

here’s what we did this tweakend
in reverse order

Gnarls Barkley
Fillmore NY at Irving Plaza
June 8th

[mo pics, things, stuff @ BVeegs]

To celebrate the 150th Myspace Secret Show, Gnarls Barkley (with The Battles opening, although we missed that part) got the crowd (including our boy Just Jack) to sweat to their oldies as well as many of the new hot tunes off of their rawkin Odd Couple album. The show was very similar to the last time we caught em 2 years ago, although luckily there was no spandex crotch madness abound. One thing we don’t really understand is why so many people left after ‘Crazy’ was played. First of all, these guys are far from being a one-hit wonder, since all their songs rule the school (hispecially ‘Going On’), and secondly, that song has reached a ‘Stairway To Heaven’ level of overplayednessness that it’s not even fun to listen to anymo. Even if the posers didn’t stick around for the encore to hear ‘Smiley Faces’, we doubt they or anyone for that splatter walked away w/o one

Belmont Stakes
Belmont Park
June 7th

If you’ve never attended a leg (or thigh) of horseracing’s Triple Crown, you owe to yerself to do so. We’ve only been to the Belmont Stakes, but once visited Churchill Downs, and it’s an amazing place, even without all the derby derbs shiz goings on. Belmont Park isn’t as glamorous (read: it’s a dump hole), but we dare anyone not to enjoy a day at the races, herspecially when a horse has a shot to become the first Triple Crown winner since Affirmed affirmed it up back in 1978. Well, so much for that Big Brown (read BB’s private journal here), whose new nickname is Big Boo, which is also our nickname for the NY Football Giants. Anywhozitz, here’s some snice pics we found on flickrrrr since our camera blows worse than Rob Schneider in any movie

Reprise
Writer’s Blockbuster
Trailers & Mo

Reprise is like the Norwegian equivalent of Run Lola Run or Trainspotting, with a crew of good looking cats trying to figure out what life’s all about, a hip poster and soundtrack (Joy Division and Le Tigre), and a certain raw energy and style that only seems to exist in modern European cinema, but peas don’t expect a non-stop frantic pace or the outright beyond bestness of either (we mean, c’mon, those were easily two of the grrrrrreatestest films of the 90s!). While Lola and Tspot dealt with crime and punishment of ones body, Reprise centers on two aspiring BFF writers (eggsalad work from both of the leads, Anders Danielsen Lie and Espen Klouman-Høiner), who have their share of ups and mainly downs on the path of fulfilling their literary dreams. This is a gem of a film that makes a fine alternative to all the superheroes and horsefaces currently clogging multiplexes nationwide

She Gives Us Norwegian Wood: all hail Viktoria Winge, who plays the long suffering, moon-faced g-friend of one of the writers

[click above for full NSFWness]
Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Reprise is currently playing in limited release

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

The Promotion
Supermarket Sweet
Trailers & Mo

Pitting Seann William Scott against John C. Reilly, as two assistant managers of a grocery store both desperately seeking a job promotion that will make them the manager of a new branch, sounds like a decent set-up for a flick where hilarity might indeed ensue. Such isn’t the case with The Promotion, screenwriter Steve Conrad(The Weather Man and The Pursuit of Happyness)’s directorial debut, where the chuckles are sparse and the tension is light, yet it still won us over with a subtle sensibility and a sirprizingly mannered performance from the guy best known for playing doofus extraordinaires, like Steven Stifler. Scott plays the straight man here, who appears to be a ‘shoo-in’ for the gig, until Reilly relocates from Canada and throws his hat into the mix. Scott steps up his game, but he really doesn’t have to as Reilly keeps shooting himself in the foot. At first he revels in Reilly’s mistakes, and then eventually begins to empathize with a man stuck in the similar situation of trying to make a better life for himself and his family (the wives are played by Jenna/Pam and Lili Taylor, who have little to do other than patting their men on the backs). Along with The Good Girl and One Hour Photo, The Promotion is a serviceable lil flick that fits in purrrfectly with the up and coming, yet non-existent, mini-genre of grocery store blues films. If you haven’t gone down those aisles yet, it may be time for you to check (them) out

Minor Leagues: The Promotion marks only the third role for bit actor Michael Kuster. Is other two roles? A Milwaukee Brewer in Mr 3000 and a Cleveland Indian in Major League

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

When Did You
Last See Your Father?
May 26th, But What Bidness Is It of Yours?
Trailers & Mo

Colin Firth’s father is on his death bed, so the lad decides to take a trip down memory lane, even if the past wasn’t exactly so memorable. Jim Boradbent plays the ailing daddy not so dearest (if he actually were his dad, he woulda been 11 when Colin was born), who definitely loved his son very much, but showed it in all the wrong ways (like embarrassing him in front a girl he’s trying to court at a summer resort, played by one of our mos flavorite cutie pie supremes, Carey Mulligan). By starting in the present and shuttling back and forth to the past, the story loses some of the sentimental steam it’s obviously trying to evoke, but it’s still far from blowing hot air. We juss think the patching up of their strained relationship woulda been more effective had the memoirs of Blake Morrison played out in chronological order. Like with The Promotion, Father is still a serviceable lil flick worth the peep… eggcept for on Father’s Day flubvs course

House Keep Her: you may recognize Elaine Cassidy, who plays the family housekeeper in Father, cause she was the mute housekeeper girl from The Others [vid]. She is a nice

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

both films open today in limited release

Rental Round-Up Dawg:

Teeth has one of the greatestistst premises for a horror movie: a teenage girl is exploring her sexuality, but how’s it all gonna turn out when her vagina has TEETH?!??!?!??! The trailer goes one step further by selling the idea to a T(eeth). Too bad the movie can’t fully deliver cause the script and the acting are down and up right atrocious (and so are the chomped off penis bits). Nunthelessss, it’s kinda watchable cause Jess Weixler (below) is super hotttttt and so is this dirty old man [vid], who shoulda been given a special Oscar for his slurping noises

Here we is again with another looney tunes mgcee premise: a socially refarted man starts to break out of his shell when he starts dating a sex doll he ordered online. We’re sure you’ve already heard about Lars And The Real Girl, but juss in case you hadn’t, we thought you should be aware of it cause you need to see it to believes its like Cheez-Its. Ryan Gosling plays Lars and you know he plays it well cause Gosling is mad crazy good at playing mad crazy nia peoples and he’s sporting a mustache and stuff!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…