Thighs Wide Shut

Away From Her
Unforgettable
Trailer

A film’s true worth of greatness lies in its staying powering. One can rant and rave right after a viewing, but months later, will you even care? Well, two months after catching a screening of Away From Her, the jarring tale of a husband slowly losing his wife to Alzheimer’s, I am incapable of letting it go from my system. And why would I want it to? It’s not only one of THE best films of the year, but probably one of the single greatestist directorial debuts in recent memory. Who woulda thunk that Canada’s version of Parker Posey, Sarah Polley, had it in her to make something so mature, so poignant on her first full length jaunt? I guess when you work with such hotness as Atom Egoyan, David Cronenberg, Michael Winterbottom and Hal Hartley, some of that magic is gonna rub off on ya. It also didn’t hurt that her trio of leads consisted of the ever so lovely Julie Christie, the always bubbly Olympia Dukakis, and the why have I never heard of the beyond bestness that is Gordon Pinsent. While Christie plays the memory lost wife to perfection, it’s Pinsent’s eye and thigh-opening performance as the doting husband that keeps me from ever letting go. If P-Daddy doesn’t get an Oscar nom next year, I will boycott the Academy Awards. And if you don’t think I’m being serious, then tell that to the time machine that transported me back to the summer of 1980 where I joined my fellow American athletes by not going to Moscow

Netflex: actors turned directors aint so uncommon these days, but besides the obviousnesness bestnessness that is Clint Eastwood, be sure to czech out and re-czech out the work of Todd Field. Is there any tang butter than a double dip of In The Bedroom & Little Children [TWS review]. Eat my choda George Clooney and yer self-indulgent over-stylized movies!

Apt MPupil3: Skid Row‘s ‘I Remember You‘ [d|vid]

He Shoots He Scores… A Role: yesh, that wacky dude in the home is indeed a real hockey play-by-play man. His name be Ron Hewat and he was the voice of the Toronto Maple Leafs for 16 years

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): BREAST IN SHOW•, duhvs

Also, opening today in erect theaters are two flicks we viddyed at last year’s Tribeca Film Fiest: the repoopulousishness that is Nate Fisher Hates Terrorists• [TWS review] and the much more delectable The Treatment [TWS review]. Wees seeing a handful of Tribeca flicks this weekend and will have a fool wrap up next weak. Until then, the balcony is clothed•….

Donovan
Tribeca/ASCAP Music Lounge
Canal Room
May 2nd

In my humboldt opinion, there is no artist more underappreciated than 60s Scottish psychedelic folkster Donovan Leitch. He not only influenced a generation of groovy cats, but the mos grooviest of the litter, The Beatles. Without D-Love, the White Album coulda turned out to be any olde album. Not that I take stock in anything that has to do with The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but while many of his contemporaries have already been inducted, Donovan still waits for his number to be called. While the world turns a blind eye, I pray at the feet of this unrelievable Rock and Roll Souljer

Luckily I got the chance to do so the other day as Don played a tight 9 songed set at the Tribeca Film Fest’s lil eggsclusive music lounge-thangie. While most of the subdued crowd didn’t come to life until midway thru the set, when ‘Sunshine Superman‘ was jimmy jammed, I was hooked, lined and sinkered from song one, ‘Catch The Wind‘, til song end, ‘Mellow Yellow‘. In between, he threw in two new numbers on top of such classics as ‘Universal Soldier‘, ‘Season the Witch‘ (which he said was transcendental mediation buddy David Lynch‘s mos flavorite), ‘Lalena‘, and the one that gave me more chills than the ice bath Tim Robbins endured in Jacob’s Ladder, ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man‘, aka one of the single greatestist songs of balls thyme. But 9 songs is not enuff for a ‘van-head like myself. How am I to die and never hear ‘Jennifer Juniper‘, ‘Wear Your Love Like Heaven‘, or one of the mos banana songs I’ve ever heard, ‘Barabajagal‘ [d]. I dunno, but I don’t plan on worrying about it as I’ll see him for showzlle the next time he comes to town, singing his songs of love. For you jerk-a$$es who need their cosmic wheels aligned, show sum respek and buy his Definitive Collection

image from Factor D

Peter Bjorn & John
Fujiya & Miyagi
Webster Hall
May 1st

How does a band who has one of the finestest albums released in the US this year underwhelm in concert? I wish I didn’t have to ask such a question, but after Tuesday’s show, I’m more baffled than Borat in an aisle of packaged cheese! When they plowed thru the highlights of said album, they were good, but not great. Was it too large of a room to perform in? Were they too far from Stockholm to take stock in my adopted home? Did they fall victim to the nasty words of the Wrong Folks? I have no friggin idea, but they still rock, juss not as much as I thought they would in a live setting. Maybe I need to see em 6 times like Vegan. Or maybe they shouldn’t have Fujiya & Miyagi kick the friggin ballastics before they come out. Or maybe, they should literally get their ‘act’ together a wee bit mo cause they could be bigger than Radiohead. I’m not even joking. And I pray to jeebus that that happens cause I’m so sick of Radiohead and the new boring poop they keep a poopin’

image, more of dem and review over at Fresh Bread

Waitress
Slice Dreams
Trailer

After plowing thru a slice of the Double R’s infamous cherry pie Special Agent Dale Cooper remarked, ‘This must be where pies go when they die‘ [wav]. Had Coop made his way into the deep south, he probably woulda stripped that declaration from the Twin Peaks staple and applied it to Waitress‘ Joe’s Pie Diner. Seriously folks, I have never seen pie, let alone any food for that splatter, look so fargin delicious on screen before. I guarantee that when you leave the theater, you will eat pie (baked or hair). If inanimate objects had their own Oscar category, dem pies would be the biggest shoo-in since carbon rod took home a Bestest Inanimate Object Emmy back in the ’94. So besides pies with zany names, what else is on the menu? Oh, how bout, the scrumptious final work of slain indie darling Adrienne Shelly, proof that Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion can carry a film, verification that Andy Griffith is not dead, further authentication that no one plays a prick better than Jeremy Sisto, and confirmation that Cheryl Hines makes a fuglier waitress than Alice‘s Flo. Waitress aint no fine dining, but whatever your tastes, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this home cooked meal

Whip It Good: US2Gay has the recipe for ‘I Can’t Have No Affair Because It’s Wrong and I Don’t Want Earl to Kill Me’ Pie

Pies Wide Slut: the only ‘pie diner’s I could find in the US were Shoofly in the Noise of ILL and Chicken in Cali

Apt MPupil3: Warrant‘s crotchlicious ‘Cherry Pie‘ [d|vid]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers•

Year of The Dog
Bordering on Pawful
Trailer

If you’ve ever seen Chuck & Buck you already know that writer/actor/and now director Mike White isn’t your average joe. Yet, outside of C&B his output is just plain… average. While I’m a big fan of his penned The Good Girl, there’s not too much to write home about about School of Rock, Nacho Libre, Orange County and his directorial debut, Year of The Dog. Dog is not a bad movie, but it’s not really something that needs to be shown in theaters either. There’s juss nothing really goings on there. Hell, the ‘drama’ that’s thrown between the II and IIIrd acts that turns into a message in the end reeks of desperation to juss have something goings on there. Tis quite a shame, since all the performances are quite good, including lead Molly Shannon who’s finally ready to erase Mary Katherine Gallagher from peep-hole’s noggins. If White really wanted to make a cutesy flick where you can turn off your mind, relax and float down stream, he shoulda expanded on the best scenes where Shannon tends to 15 dogs simultaneously. That’s more comic gold than having Regina King be queen of your laff factory

Bestest Screen Replacement for Mike White Mt Everest: Josh Pais

Play It Again Sam: yesh, that lappy go hucky song that you hear towards the end is also the same one used in Thigh favs Napoleon Dynamite AND It’s All Gone Pete Tong. Tits called ‘Music For A Found Harmonium‘ [d] and its originally by The Penguin Cafe Orchestra

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges•

Friday we’ll review one of our mos flavorite flicks of the year that isn’t about a serial killer. Stay tuned!!! Until then, the balcony is clothed…

Q: What’s the greatestist hip-hop album of balls thyme?

A:

A: Seeing the GZA/Genius himself perform it (Liquid Swords) from start to finish at Bitchfork’s Fest in Chi-town, Friday July 13. As an added bonus, you get to see Slint performing Spiderland and some band called Sonic Youth performing Daydream Nation

‘Liquid Swords’ [d]

Hat tip to the newly designed hotness that is Pradashopnyc