Thighs Wide Shut

not so simple goal in life: visit the shooting locations of A Clockwork Orange

in pardickular and moist importantly, where the bum got a blurp blurp beat down from Alex and his droogies

which is located at the Wandsworth Bridge Roundabout, Wandsworth, London

and even butter than the real thing and morererer importanter than anything (even the Redskins and our parents), where Alex shows Dim & Georgie who’s the effin boss man (eat it Springsteen!) with some ball busting action at the Flat Block Marina

which is located at the Southmere Lake in Thamesmead South
which was also used in the ’96 flick Beautiful Things
& the ’73 Peter Sellers flick The Optimists
& the Kaiser Chief’s video for ‘Never Miss A Beat’

MISSION BEYOND ACCOMPLISHED & THUNDERDOME!!!
(with a huge thanx and spanx to our mate Paul who we forced to drive us all over the place. bless his thighs and his soul)

so where do we go from here (besides telling you about the yumcrdible Blur show and sharing the rest of our England pics?)? what’s the next dream to make a reality? easy, and no ponds have to be crossed for this one: Twin Peaks hot spots. Diane, warm up the coffee and cut me a slice of apple pie, cause this will happen like a man in a smiling bag!!!

The Great Buck Howard
Turning Tricks Into Treats
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Writer/Director Sean McGinly was once a novice road manager for mentalist Simon Baker The Amazing Kreskin, and he has channeled his brief experiences with him as the inspiration for his purty darn great flick The Great Buck Howard, with John Malkovich in the slight of hand title role and Colin Hanks walking a mile in his own shoes. The two crisscross America’s nooks and crannies (with a big stopover in Cincinnati, where Steve Zahn and his mustache rule!), playing sparsely filled theaters, as Hanks lends moral support to needy Malkovich and his (hilariously) outdated shtick. As a performer, Buck’s still got it after all these years, but he’s about 3 steps away from becoming as completely delusional as Norma Desmond. Hanks’ straight man role is a thankless one, and one the movie may have been better off saying no thanks to. We know why the role exists, but anything that has to do with his character (including having his father, not so shockingly played by Tom Hanks, pop up for no real reason, and a budding romance with an unusually restrained Emily Blunt) stands in the way of Malkovich’s brilliant show. As of late, Malko’s been laffable as a dramatic actor (did anyone take him seriously in The Changeling? wait, did anyone see The Changeling?), and hamazing as a comedic one (Colour Me Kubrick, Art School Con, etc), and so it’s an absolute pleasure to see him continue on the latter’s path… unless of course it’s a Rowan Atkinson movie

The Winslow Boy: there be some mad quailty cameos within the film, but we demand more than cameos for our boy Michael Winslow. watch his Star Wars thingie and then tell me that this man of many talents doesn’t deserve more work and love?

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Hunger
Not Very Appetizing
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

IRA member Bobby Sands (Michael Fassbender) led a famous hunger strike at a Northern Ireland prison in order to gain attention for his movement, and specifically regain Special Category Status for him and fellow political prisoners. Steve McQueen‘s (not that Steve McQueen) Hunger chronicles his incarceration and lack of eating, which ultimately resulted in his death/martyrdom. Watching this gauntly grueling process of decomposition is no fun at all. All movies don’t have to be fun, but we got the point early on in the picture and didn’t really need to sit thru the rest of the pain and suffering. It was like watching The Machinist all over again, and if yer like us, that was an experience not worth repeating

Glutton For Punishment: Fassbender’s a big fan of taking a beating. if yer looking for more of it, but something that’s a lot more fictional and a lot more entertaining, then czech out the low-budget horrorish flick Eden Lake, where a bunch of teens terrorize him and his girlfriend. it’s like Deliverance, but with chavs instead of southern yokels

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinking Badges

Hunger opens in NY only today, while Buck Howard mentals it up in limited release and on VOD

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Jack Torrence’s brilliant debut novel, All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy, has finally been released in print for the first time ever. Will a posthumous Pulitzer Prize follow, à la John Kennedy Toole? [E!]

Slumdog Millionaire
A Winning Trivial Pursuit
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

Director Danny Boyle is on an effin roll, even more so than Samari or even Esther! After the triple threat bestness of this decade that brought us the horrific emptiness of 28 Days Later, the heist and high hopes of Millions, and the space ODDyssey that was Sunshine, we’ve come to regard the man that spankfully gave us Trainspotting (one of the four greatestist movies of balls thyme… all four are named in this post) as a mini-Kubrick in the making, tackling any genre and netting much success. So much so that the excess of A Life Less Ordinary and suckiness of the The Beach barely even bother us anymore. After conquering Great Britain and space, where’s a hot director suppose to take his camera next? Bollywood wouldn’t have been our first answer, but we’d never second guess Danny Boy. His latest (with some directing assistance from Loveleen Tandan), Slumdog Millionaire, has wood that’s more Holly than Bolly (there is still some pointless singing and dancing shiz, but don’t worry cause it only happens once, during the end credits), but this Darjeeling is unlimited, unlike Wes’esezzz

The film centers around Jamal Malik (Dev Patel, playing the eldest version of the character), an orphan from the slums of Mumbai, now growns up and working as peon tea boy in an office. When we first meet him, he’s sirprizingly climbing the monetary ladder on India’s version of Who Want’s To Be A Millionaire. Jamal’s a question away from taking the top prize, but before he can finish the game the police want him to answer some questions of their own, like, how a kid with a background like his knows so much? And that’s how the movie unfolds, as Jamal explains to the chief of police (Irfan Khan, who’s the bestest Khan since Chaka and Genghis) how his life experiences from his rough and tough past (with his ruff and tuff older brother) have enabled him to coincidentally come up with all the right answers. We will divulge no more exposition here, cause you need to experience Jamal’s experiences with your own dang eyes

Slumdog is so rich, oozing with oodles of ooohs and ahhhas (including some poos, juss like what happened with our boy Renton and the worst toilet in Scotland), that it almos feels like 2872167 movies rolled into one. To put it mo simply, it’s the Indian City of God, with some Princess Bride unrequited love (Freida Pinto, the hottiest bean mt EVERest) thrown in for way good measure. It also happens to be the first Fox Searchlight movie in the past 3 years that would actually be worthy of a Best Pic nomination, unlike sum… and that’s our final answer

The Host With The Most: as a kid, Jamal worships Bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan, who in reality was the host of India’s version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? entitled Kaun Banega Crorepati

Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Eden
Paradise Lost
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

From the producers of Once comes another movie about love in the land of dreary skies, but don’t be expecting no Twice. That’s cause the love in Eden is falling apart, not coming together, and there aint no sweet music to be made. The unhappy couple, Billy and Breda (Aidan Kelly and Eileen Walsh), are about to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary, but ‘dread’ may be a more apt word to describe how they feel about the looming event. They haven’t done it in ages, and Billy’s eyes are starting to look elsewhere (see Irish Thighs Are Smiling below). Breda’s trying to make things right again between the two, but it seems as if she’s driving on a one way street with no road assistance. Stuff happens, and then some uncomfortable stuff happens, and the couple eventually reach a point of no return that will decide ultimately whether they stay together or go their separate ways. Based off of the Eugene O’Brien stage play of the same name, in which he adapted his own work for the screen, director Declan Recks expands the story’s settings, but it still feels a bit too stagey. Luckily Kelly and Walsh provide the steak and the sizzle, showcasing their fine acting talents on this emotional roller coaster ride thru
heaven and mostly hell

Irish Thighs Are Smiling: we’re all about Sarah Greene, the saucy cutie with the chubby cheeks who plays the object of Billy’s affection, and now ours!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Slumdog opens today in limited release, where Eden will join it on Friday

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

via (yet another) Animated Gif Thread