Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Monday, August 6

Let Me Entertain Me

Friday

Squeeze
Beacon Theatre
August 3rd

2007's Squeeze may not be the same exact line-up of yer older sister's late 70s/early 80s Squeeze, but I doubt anyone's losing sleep over Jools Holland's absence, as long as the core duo of Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford are the ones carrying the torch. This is their first tour since the '99, which is a good thing for me, cause outside of a few of their hits ('Tempted', 'Mussels From A Shell', & 'Take Me I'm Yours'), I didn't really get into them until a few years ago. And from the 20 or so tunes I now know, Squeeze RAWKINly played half of them, leading me to want to discover all the rest. The setlist was similar to the show they played at the Nokia Theater two nights before, with much bestness abound. And the fans? Well, these 45 year-olds were eatin it up. So much so that I got goosebumps when Squeeze ended the first set with 'Cool For Cats' and when the band left the stage, the entire place was chanting 'Ewwwwwwww Ewwwwww Eww' until they reemerged for the encore

'Goodbye Girl' [d]



if....
if I Loved It, So Will Jew

Being one of the world's fifthmost Clockwork Orange fans, I've endlessly heard that Lindsay Anderson's classic if.... was required viewing. For years I waited for the DVD to be released, and after it finally was, I had to wait another 2 months before Netflix found a copy available to send me. And worth the wait it mos certainly was! Malcolm McDowell's feature film debut as a rousing rebel private school student is required viewing for everyone, even if you hate on ACO. You should also czech out the audio commentary with film critic/historian David Robinson and duhvs course McDowell. Cause one shouldn't go thru life with a bunch of 'what if....s'



Saturday

Sunshine
Shine On You Crazy Boyle
Trailers & Mo

For the first half of Danny 'Mr I Directed The Greatestist Modern Movie of Our Generation' Boyle's epic Sunshine, a run of the general mills sci-fi movie is afoot: an Earthly crew is sent to finish a mission that failed the first time around. Why it failed, no one knows, so what could possibly go wrong on round numero two? But after the always necessary EVA repair scenes pass, the film finishes so strongly that all the passédness that came before simply turns into a thing of the past. This is the movie that Peter Hyams' 2010 wish it could of been, udderly gripping and a sight to be seen. In fact, the only thing that 2010 has on Sunshine is Roy Scheider's pool in his house that dolphins swim in. Take that Boyle!

Space Cadet: Sunshine marks the third collaboration between director Boyle and writer Alex Garland. The others were The Beach and 28 Days Later. None too shabby, and I'm sure the next movie he's writing won't be either. It's a lil project called Halo

Byrne Baby Byrne: is there anyone cute-afyin the silver screen any quiter and butter than Queen Amidala impostor Rose Byrne? If there is, I don't even wanna know about tit


[from the Faptooine files]

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show


+ endless hours of Wii tennis


which gave me a sore arm
aka Wiidonitis (soon to be added to WebMD)


+ introducing the gayest movie ever

to a friend not in the know


Sunday

The Bourne Ultimatum
Bourne Again
(wonder if anyone else came up with sum tang that clever)
Trailers & Mo

Although nothing transforms in Bourne 3, I dare you spray that it's not the popcorn pleaser of the summer. If you double dare me back, you knows I'll be taking that effin physical challenge so eat it you jerkface or I'll turn your Marc Summers into the Marc winters of your discontent! Dude, Bourne Ults was outta forkin control. I couldn't stop saying to meself, how the fizzle did they film and edit this pizzle? The action never seemed to stop, even when Edward R. Murrow kept sayin goodnight and good luck and FBI Chief of Behavioral Science Jack Crawford kept pining for Clarice Starling and Julia Stiles made this face for the humpteenth thyme and Daddy Warbucks tried to buck Bourne in the pooper. Shiz may be called Bourne Ultimatum but with its love from below and above, shiz coulda been called Bourne To Rizock The UlTomatoMeterum

Sprinkle Z Deutsch: Daniel Brühl plays the brother of Franka Potente's deceased character Marie. The two German acting dynamos have only been paired up in one movie before, $chlaraffenland

The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side: while Paul Greengrass may be the king of documentary style fictional filmmaking, Barney Greengrass is the king of sturgeon. And regardless of how funny Kevin James is, I will never ever watch an episode of the King of Queens

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show


The Police
Giants Stadium (Go Skins!)
August 5th

Ever since I was blown away and I blew myself watching Simon & Garfunkel reunited at MSG, I knew had to see any group that I hearted if they decided to ever reform. The Police were juss such a band, and hispecially so since it seemed like they would never get back together cause Sting is a prick and he's too busy sending his love down a well. Well, the cheeky bastards still gots it, and the show's setlist, which seems to be the same from city to city, is purrrfectly suited for those Greatest Hits only fans like myself. Now I wouldn't hexaggactly say that I was blown away (the Squeeze show was actually better) or ready to blow myself or even Jude Law for that matter (OHHHH Jude Law and your juicy cock!), but I'm still glad I saw the show. Now that this reunion is outta the way, I want a police reunion of a whole different medium: Sgt. Joe Friday and Pep Streebeck. Juss the facts ma'am, and juss watch this vid of Hanks and Akroyd rappin to a tune called 'City of Crime'


I mean, who doesn't love dancing P.A.G.A.N.s?

So, what did you do this past tweakend?

# Stizzle Stosseled by Thigh Master
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