Dukes of Hazardous Waste

– THE SINGLE BREASTEST SITE EVER CREATED BY A HUMAN since You’reTheManNowDog.com be RumorsOnTheInternets.com. I could watch this shiz ALL DAY SHLONG!!! [via Guns n’ Rosenthal]

– Burt Reynolds, you are no Sorrell Booke!!

– Bill O’Reilly is not only a triple-douche bag, but apparently a quadruple-dirt-a$$ scum bag as well. No wonder he gets along so famously with the Peabs and the Coz!

– There is a Gawd and whoever HE may be, lettuce bless him on the miracle of picking Chris Rock to host the Oscars. Phew, cause Billy Crystal’s jokes had more (cob)webs than Charlotte!! But somehow the producers will flex their Oscar magic and make the Rock un-funny.

– KRS-One “cheered when 9/11 happened.” Look KRiS, if you want to garner attention to sell some albums, go the R Kelly route by peeing on 14-year-old girls instead of applauding the deaths of yer fellow country(wo)men/buying public. [via A Sock’s Life]

– The NBA may one day dump 3-pointers until the last five minutes of a game. FUNK dat. If they really wanted to make the game mo interesting why don’t they just adopt some MTV Rock ‘N’ Jock B-Ball Jam jounks like the 25 point basket or create teams like the Violators or the Bricklayers, coached by Bill Bellamy and Dan Cortese respectively. DON’T CALL IT A CALLBACK!!

– The other day I was pondering what Mr Belding, the butler on Fresh Prince, Kimmy Gibbs, and that kid who isn’t Ben Savage from Boy Meets World have all been up to. Good thing the NY Daily News did all the werk fo me!

– Peep the Fat Albert: The Movie trailer. Er, um, well at least the costumes looks nice.

– Think that was a atrociousaladocious? Watch this trailer in its entirety. Keep an eye for the uMAZING special F/X.

– Hooray to VH1 for greenlighting Surreal Life 4 + the Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen spin-off project! But who wants to watch a show where Daniel Baldwin, Biz Markie, Wendy the Snapple Lady, and Ralphie May try to lose weight? Wouldn’t it be better if they were forced to eat more ala Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest?

– I’m a sexist pig. And with that said, every woman should wear a pair of these Playboy jeans! Button fly? More like Bunny fly! Blue jeans? More like BLUE BALLS!

– Most un-sir-prizing statement of the 21st century: Comedy Central Darling Jon Stewart Backs Kerry. And this just in… Jewish Men Love Mel Brooks Movies, Microwaved Tuna Smells, and Lohan Has GYNORMUS Ta-Tas!!.

– John Kerry keeps talking about holding summits if he were erected prez. Is the World Toilet Summit in Beijing one of them? What about The Summit in Houston or Pat Summit?

– To hell with the real election, who would you rather vote for Jimmy Smits or Alan Alda?

– Sure Richard Marx AND Phish both played airport hangars, but does it get any butter than playing at the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony? Dunno, but the David Koresh house band, Le Polyphonic Spree, will find out.

– It must be a crying shame to be a Luxembourger these days. Especially when Liechtenstein put a 4-nil arse-whopping on you and yer 155th world ranked soccer squad.

– Speaking of western Europe, you know you live the greatistist country in the world when you can buy pot cheaper in a store than you can from the government!!

– And finally, congratulations are in order to chipmunk face, aka Lynndie England, who gave birth to the anti-Christ. That baby will probably be the universe’s most frightening creature since Kuato from Total Recall or the half-alien/half-human thing that popped out of Robin’s bagina on V: Final Battle (link is of the OG mini-series). I smell a Bitched @ Swirth!!