Chicken (Pre)Tenders

Who do these peoples think they is?

• For once, the end of the NFL season is actually more about the Redskins, and less about my fantasy teams… that juss shat the bed. Oh, by the gay, lick my grundle COWBOYS, AGAIN!!!

• Trace Ayala reacts to ex-fiancee Cuthbest’s current NHL blogging and banging, ‘I love her to death, so whatever happens, happens. We’ve both got so much going on right now.‘ And by ‘going on’, he means masturbating, picking up J-T’s dry cleaning, and spending 6 hours a day anonymously making snarky comments on her blog

• em pee treses that have finally displaced ‘Awesome Gawd’ [d-lode] atop of my broken thIghpod: ‘California 2005’ by Phantom Planet [find it here] and The Gay Cowboy Theme Song from Brokeback Mt [d-lode], which is kinda bitched at swirth with the Princess Bride theme [d-lode] + this bonus fab Finbarr remix [find it here]

• Apparent lie, the White Stripes are the only people on earth allowed to use the color combo of black, white, and red. No word on if they lay claim on the ‘What’s black and white and read all over?‘ joke

• Tina Fey to do the umpossible: make Sacha Baron Cohen unfunny

• Wish I had a Bar Refaeli instead of a Bar Mitzvah

• Maria Sharapova’s Motorola M1000 sold for $7,500. After learning this, I cleaned up the kingdom a bit and sold some of her leftover pubes on eBay. Unfortch, I only gots a paltry 6 roubles

• Why spend 15 bones for the DVD of the vastly overrated Wedding Crashers [review] when you can spend 10 to see the DVD in a movie theater?!

• Primary Colors + Edtv + Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World = the American Dreamz trailer… read: most likely to be one giant poo on a stick

• Cheetos Lip Balm or this…

take your pick puke
[via The Made of Brawn-steeens]

• Things I learned by watching 60 Minutes: Mike Wallace is the most tanned Jew of all time

• Why didn’t someone get license to kill Jodie Lynn Tillen before filming began on License To Kill? I mean, you call this costume designing? NOBODY makes Robert Davi look like a fool and deserves to live!

• How do cats “know” to use litter boxes?… but still no answer as to how Cats stayed on Broadway for so long

• A poster of meat hottier than that 70s Farah Fawcett one

• Richard Branson wants to call you

• Animated Knots by Greg

• A Salute to Salute Your Shorts [via The Mask]

• City Rag Doll reminds us of a grrrrrrrrrreat site that she flazzled from us last year, so I’m flizzling it back this year: Scared of Santa photo gallery

• I dont know either [NSFW]

• Siskel & Ebert uncensored!!!!!!! [via Monkey Helper]

• And I have lil to no frigidaire idear who Alizeé Jacotey is, sides the fact that’s she’s some sorta singer, may actually be Joe Jacoby‘s niece, and hails from the Land of Fries (Thighland’s closet geographical ally), but spanks to Cpt Bees Nuts, I’ll be buttering her croissant and beatin the crap outta her until she can’t stand the au bon PAIN all up in the ’06!!