Ire Straits

20. Mar, 2006 1 Comment

Dublin, Ireland
March 17 – 19, 2006

Dublin doesn’t have much to offer (glad I only went for 2 full days), hispecially in the St Patty’s dept, but if you heart woman that’re hard Corr, love to say ‘cheers’, or ever want to drink yer tits off, than this is the place to become Whobitzor Titsoff. Eh?

TITS!

Where is my mind?
sham-ROCKS!!
and my corn?

Maybe my corn is here
pornucopia?

Lovely ~~day~~ every 5 seconds
for a Guinness
i'm throwing up juss looking at this

What a fitting episode to be playin on the telly
be my PAL or my NTSC
for beer is the cause of and the solution
to all of life’s problems

Dublin, the mos sunny
& mos scenic city
EVER
no wonder they're no black people there
and by ever,
I mean in Ireland!

Ma & Pa were real sports,
even staying up til 2am one night!
luckily mum's shortness didnt get passed down in the genes
and listening to me puke at 5am the next!

Guess what color this horsey’s poo was?
raise the hoof!!
BROWN!

This is a thing called a thing,
THING!!
at the ye olde Trinity College

Here’s another thing
that used to house a military hospital
HOUSE, MD!!
but now houses shitty modern art!

Visiting the G-ness Storehouse
is the only tourist attraction
worth attraction
alec guinness also = alec's guinnes
Alec Guinness = Genuine Class

This is what Irish people look like
they bombed like 16 cars after this picture was taken
The girl had never heard of ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ before
so I introduced her to some of our Irish-American customs!

and here’s some more Irish people
i think i need to grow a beard like papa and hide my huge face
older, sure, but heavy drinkers none the less:
1 bottle champagne
1 bottle white wine
1 bottle red wine
1 bottle dessert wine
3 pints per person

I wanted to eat here on name alone
me wonders if mr babar eats here
but I knew it would lead to Abradiarrhea

A pint and a fag
how hot are my fingers?
two things u don’t often see together
since pints are homophobic

JUNK!
daim judy denchtures
DAIM STRAIGHT, YO!!

Mum’s the word
what that make dad, dum?
on Hallmark’s world domination

Heinz everything
by the end of the trip i was packaging my own brown sauce
but Hellman’s ketchup?

The 7-Up guy lives on!!!
die in hell orlando jones
but what, no love for Geoffrey Holder?

‘kills’ in Gaelic means ‘is cool’
i think the us is about a year or two away from doing this
and ‘harms you and others around you’ means
‘gets you laid like mad, yo!’

and since Irish cuisine blows yo momma
styx rox
we had to hit up Wagamama

I don’t think my body can handle these qwik European ghettoways anymo. Last year‘s lil ingestion fest ’05 bender caught up with me in the wurst way the night before I left, and this year, the morning of departure, which in turn led to probably the single wurstest travel day anyone could have experienced. Sure, downing pint after pint of the world’s finest o’ frothy all tweakend long was more blissful than watching Good Morning Miss Bliss, but I coulda done without the endless amounts of vile bile shooting outta my orifices, which oddly enuff looked like pints of Guinness.