Colon All Singers

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The Art of Shaving
Trailers & Mo

Sweeney Todd marks the 6th pairing of director Tim Burton and his muse Johnny Depp (also the 5th one with his other muse and fiancée, Helena Bonham Carter). And for those keeping score at home, including the bloody good time that is Todd, this makes a total of 5 hits and 1 near miss (that being C & The C Factory). It may not the best of that bunch, but it’s certainly one of the best films being released in this jam-packed Holiday month. Burton-Depp Statistics aside, this 3 hour Stephen Sondheim Broadway show slit down to a 2 hour audio/visual fun fest puts all the other recent movie musicals to shame. Dreamgirls was a nightmare, Hairsparay didn’t stick and Chicago was a chicagoat, but Sweeney Todd was oddly sweet. For once, the songs worked to enhance the story, not take away from it. It probably helped Burton’s cause that he cast great actors who could sorta sing instead of casting actors who could sing great. Enter Depp, Bonham Carter, and Sasha Baron Cohen (in a very brief, but memorable role as a rival barber). They may not be classically trained vocalists, but yer gonna have so much fun watching them mince words and pies that it won’t matter, so just sit back and enjoy the splatter!

Hairy Shearers: we live in one state and grew up in another, and that’s why we heart two places to get our haircut at, Seven Locks Barbershop in Merryland and Brothers Barbershop in NYC

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Comes Purty Close To Sucking Cox, Hard
Trailers & Mo

Spoofin aint easy. For every slaptastic Airplane! there’s about 17 boovies like Epic Movie. Even parody masters like Mel Brooks and the ZAZ trio have handed in a boatload of clunkers in their time. A ray of hope shinned mighty brightly on Dewey Cox, a take off of heavily Oscar-baited musician biopics, especially with all them notes being scripted by comedy man of the moment Judd Apatow. Yet for all its showy showmanship, spanning the birth of rock and every genre that followed it, Cox aint no symphony, just another middle of the road comedy yielding nuttin but cheap laffs (in particular the lame Jewish jokes that not even Blanche Knott would find truly tasteless). Sure, the songs John C Reilly belts are quite nifty, the costumes and scenery are beyond chewable, and Jenna Fischer has never been lovelier, but to smoke it bluntly, this comedy really isn’t all that funny. We’re sure many of you all will disagree with our assessment (the other critics already have), but if you think for one moment that the bit where Dewey meets the Beatles is tat all humorous, then there will be b(l)oo(d)!!!

Je T’aime The Savage Beast: doesn’t Ma Cox (Margo Martindale) look darn familiar? If you saw Paris, je t’aime, she starred in the best vignette of dem all, Alexander Payne’s 14th arrondissement. Watch it here

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

both Sweeney & Cox open in theaters this Friday

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…