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Monday, January 29
Epic Movie
An Epic Waste of Time
Trailers & Mo
After takin in weeks and weeks of the opposite of weak fare leading up to the Globes and the AA nominations, yours Thighly decided it was time to see something fluffy and mind numbing, and perhaps even entertaining. Well, after peepin about 30 seconds of Epic Movie I was willing to trade in the escapism of a movie theater for escaping from the movie theater! YIIIIIIIIKES!! So for the first movie that I see from the '007 I'm all ready to declare it the wurstest of year! It'll be purty hard to beat, but then again a release date hasn't been set for Keenen Ivory Wayans' The Munsters, so lettuce not declare any winners losers juss yet
Sure, I'm the toughest of tough cookies when it comes to comedies (tits a no-brainer that Blades of Glory is gonna be a hannah-shit-storm), but ya gotta truss me on this one that only the parents of the filmmakers are gonna find this funny. After one early Doritos joke that made me chuckle alound, I decided to keep count of the laffs. 1 hour and 20 some odd minutes later, the finger count remained the same!! The jokes were lamer than lamerer. They're so dated that in 5 years, no one will even understand what they're even pokin fun at
There were only five thangs that I got outta this, and none of them had to do with laffing:
1) Darrell Hammond's pirating of Cpt Jack Sparrow has got to rank among his bestest imitations
2) the sandra oh so adorable Jayma Mays' first lead role is a complete waste of her talents. Not so much her fault, unless of course she read the script before filming began, but they basically turned her into an unfunny redheaded version of Anna Faris. Oddly enuff, the two will be in Gregg Araki's follow-up to his uber-brills Myserious Skin [TWS.org's mini-review], Smiley Face
3) Christopher Guest regulars Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard & Jim Piddock are about as pathetic in this poo-fest as they were in For Your Consideration [TWS's poo-review]. Go figure
4) Kal Penn is the Indian Samuel L Jackson. He never turns down a movie. Lettuce hope The Namesake [trailer] will redeem all
& frynally
5) Biggest missed-casting in recent memory (notice I didn't spray 'miscasting'): letting the usual money bags mcgee Johnny Depp ruin the legend of Willy Wonka, when Crispin Glover would been a wiser choice for the Tim Burton remake. See pic above for what geniusnessness that mighttta been
Unsatisfied with this?: yeah, dumb sure you were, so Netflix one of the more LOL stoopid slapstick flicks of recent memory, Scary Movie 4 [Trailer|TWS.org Review]... no, seriously, you should
Possible Porno Name: Epic Sploogie
Apt MPupil3: how bout something on Epic Records... like anything by Peter Gallagher [tunes on hispace]
IMDb Sweeney: Is Groovy the new Alan Smithee?
John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous!
until next thyme the balcony is clothed...
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