The Muppets
Reconnecting The Rainbow
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG | 98 min

The 2011 Muppet movie accomplishes two very simple goals – it makes us oldie folkies remember the long forgotten Muppets, and introduces them wacky puppets to a whole new generation of moppets.  Other than that?  It’s got a lot of good positive energy and a lot of crappy cameos (it’s like The Hangover meets the cast of CBS’ comedy line-up.  WOW!!!  NOT!!!!!!).  OK, so David Grohl as fake-ish Animal was solid like rock candy, but James Carville????  More like lame-e-o!!!  Other than that? It rightfully employs Flight of The Conchordser Bret McKenzie to pen some very muppetish songs, and the show’s director James Bobin, to ringmaster the madness.  The Muppets hactually feels like an extended episode of Conchords, cept without the actual Conchords.  Kinda would have rather seen Bret & Jemaine debate being a man or a muppet than Jason Segel and that kid on that geek show no one watches.  Still, The Muppets is fun, despite taking any real chances or leaps.  Well, they did take a chance by introducing a new muppet named Walter, but Walter is so whatevs.snoreszzz that you’ll hope like we do that he gets cut from the next flick.  EAT IT WALTER!!!!

moral of the story: new Muppet movie is be good, but if you want to (re)introduce Kermit & Co to today’s world, why not juss re-release the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational original Muppet Movie from 1979??? we recently saw it before seeing the new one, and we muss say, it has more danger and excitement in 5 measly minutes than the new one has over 90.  and the cameos?  don’t even get us started on the radness of the cameos!!!!

Glad Mag: spanks to Golden Dispencer, we’ve un-forgotten the Muppet Magazine!!!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Muppets move right along, currently at a theater near jews

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

by lulzzz

not to be confused with melon cat

where Timothy Hutton keeps his Oscar

Jumping Kangaroo in Car Park

After The Final Curtain

Sit’n Spin!!

duct tape prom outfits will never die

The A-Team
The Zzzzzzzzzzzzz Team
Official Website | Trailers & Mo

As a youngin, we loved ourselves us some Stephen J. Cannell & Frank Lupo TV version of The A-Team.  Haven’t watched it since then, so either the show hasn’t aged well and this unwanted big screen version (were people really clamoring for one, 17 years after the fact?) apes and confirms that, or the movie itself is juss another sorry eggscuse for making cash from a dormant brand name, without honoring the brand (The Brady Bunch Movie is the gold standard on how to do it properly)?  Maybe both?

Maybe it was doomed to fail regardless since it didn’t star Mr. T.  And why didn’t they let Mister Mr do his thing, especially over the charmless Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson? T wouldn’t have needed to do any crazy stunts in his old age, besides drive the van and maybe hit people with it.  And while the rest of the casting choices were inspired (Liam Neeson sure relishes them stogies, Bradley Cooper is a perfect doucheboat and Sharlto Copley is more zany than his name suggests), nothing else here is.  Things go boom, but fizzle, Jessica Biel has boobs but always is a boo, and anyone is a pitiful fool if they spend one penny or more than one minute watching this horse pi$$

The ‘J’ Stands for J’awesome: Ubu, sit on this!!  The Stephen J. Cannell Productions logos!!!!

Verdictgo: Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous,

A-Team steams like a pile of hot dog poo at a theater near jews (not for long)

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Peace The Fork Out

to

Dennis
Lee
Hopper

1936 – 2010

&

Gary
Wayne
Coleman

1968 – 2010

after (not) much anticipation,  Dennis & Gary finally joined forces for a movie, which was probably only seen and loved by Glenn Beck: 2008’s An American Carol

in honor of the bestness/wurstness of the unseen Lorenzo Lamas/Deborah Gibson starring Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus joint (from the ‘movie’ ‘studio’ that brought you Sunday School Musical, Transmorphers and The Day The Earth Stopped)…

Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson

[NSFW]

and speaking of unseen bestness/wurstness from another reputable ‘movie’ ‘studio’, may we (re)introduce you to…

Mr T
AND
Corbin Bernsen

in
Cloud Ten‘s

JUDGMENT!!!!!
(watch the trailer or else!)