Thighs Wide Shut

The Raconteurs
Terminal 5
May 31st

The Raconteurs are easily the greatest side project band that isn’t really a side project band. We’re sure in Jack White’s mind that the White Stripes will always be first and foremost, but we bet he has a lot more fun kicking it with three talented fellas (including Brendan Benson, who’s voice is a perfect complement to White’s) than watching Meg’s main talent, her boobs, bounce up and down (seen here in all their NSFW fake glory ). Anywho, we caught the Racs the other night at the newish Terminal 5 venue, which is a purty amazing place despite being one giant fire hazard when exiting. Their new yumcredible album, Consolers Of The Lonely [buy], rocks a lot more than their debut, and thus it was no real sirprize that their show rocked a lot more than when we saw em at Lolla back in the ‘006. These babies are on the level, so if you haven’t given in yet, there’s no butter thyme than now

additional coverage of their three NY shows can be found at Modern Age & B-Vegan

czech out the new video for
the Flight of the Conchords’
‘Ladies of the World’

peabsviously on our thighs: Flight Night of A Thousand Laffs

+ Alex Trebek’s amazin hair as host of High Rollers

Flight of the Conchords
Town Hall
May 6th

What’s a joke that never gets old? One that’s told in the form of a song and rocked out by Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement (who does sorta look like a more talented Andy Samberg), the duo better know as the greatestist four letter abbreviation to hail from New Zealand since LOTR: FOTC. The real joke is on you if you still haven’t gotsen yer feet wet with either their hit HBO show or their fraztastic new self-titled album. There really isn’t anything mo superflyfresh than these two currently rocking the planet (well, besides Bree Olson NSFWed in a maid costume). The two have just begun their brief and beyond sold-out tour of the US, and we caught their first of two shows at Town Hall last night. Todd Barry warmed up the crowd with his self-loathing/loving brand of comedy, and much to everyone’s displeasure, no bongo solo for ‘Doggy Bounce’

Even if B&J mumbled for 90 minutes, the crowd would still eat it up, especially the ladies. Cause the ladies love funny guys and musicians, and FOTC are both. They probably have an easier time getting laid than an Amsterdam prostitute. Luckily, they decided to play their songs and instead of mumbling, adding their dry Kiwi witty banter in betwixt. Even though we knew every line of every song, it still was beerlarious to hear them live. The giant smiling grin on our faces never ceased from song one to the last one. Even when the audience began shouting out song requests (which has got to be the most annoying thing about concertgoers of our generation), the two played it as cool as a coolcumber. A call for ‘Freebird’ was obliged by Jermaine as he peformed a bit of it two different times. Later, someone asked for ‘Hungry Like A Wolf’ and J-Dawg went right into ‘Freebird’ again. It got a laugh each time, and why would it not?

Here’s a complete list of the songs from the concert (sadly no ‘Bowie’ or our flav, ‘Prince of Parties’), in alphabetical order, since our memory is fuzzy as a Georgia peach:

‘A Kiss Is Not A Contract’
‘Albi the Racist Dragon’
‘Angels’ (listen)
‘Bret You Got It Goin On’
‘Bus Driver’s Song’ (listen)
‘Business Time’
‘Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous’
‘If You’re Into It’
‘I’m Not Crying’
‘Inner City Pressure’
‘Jenny’
‘Ladies of the World’
‘Mutha’uckas’
‘Robots’
‘The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)’
‘Think About It’

+ 2 new songs

an instant classic one about old girlfriends (watch)
& one called ‘Freakiocity’ that needs a little work (watch)

if they’re coming to your town
pony up and buy some scalped tickets
or scalp the head of someone with tickets if need be
if not, we’re sure the thighnamic duo will tour again
so don’t fret or take off your Brett Farve jersey

Iron Man
Art Favreau
Trailers & Mo

The last two summers began with movies that were more lackluster than blockbuster. 2006 brought us the overbloated and unnecessary Mission Impossible III (there shouldn’t have been a Mission Impossible I in the first place), and in 2007, the giant mess that was Spidey 3 [TWS review] got tangled up in more webs than the world wide has urls. Well set yer mind at ease cause Iron Man kicks off this summer’s crop of big budget fiascos with a mighty bang (for your buck) and not a wimpy (but we’d still gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today). It’s easily the mos enjoyable superhero extravaganza released since Spidey 2, and would you expect anything less from a flick that stars an Oscar winner (Gwyneth Paltrow), 3 other Academy Award nominees (Robert Downey Jr, Terence Howard, and Jeffery Lebowski Bridges), had script doctoring by the dudes who wrote the screenplay for Children of Men (in retrospect, we probably should have picked it as the bestest flick of 2006), is executively produced by Ralphie and features the dopest Stan Lee cameo to date? We thought snot

In a few short years, Jon Favreau has transformed himself from a (sorta) lovable loser actor into a solid director, whose specialty seems to be blending the worlds of real and fantasy. Elf and Zathura (one of the mos funnestistest titles to say out loud) were juss baby steps leading up to this confessed fanboy’s first foray into the comic book genre. He’s right at home here, and to no real sirprize, so is his star Robert Downey Jr, having oodles of fun playing a playboy zillionaire turned iron giant. We all of know RDJr’s past issues, but with solid work in 13 films since 2003 (Zodiac being the tops, obviously) he’s quickly gone from less than zero to everyone’s hero. He may seem like an unconventional choice for a film like this, but it was a choice that certainly paid off, as his performance, in our refined opinions, ranks right up there with Christopher Reeve and Adam West as best screen superheros mt EVERest. Iron Man, we give you mad RoboProps, and can’t wait to see a sequel

Iron Butterflies: the theme from the ’66 cartoon, where Tony Stark lands on Forbes‘ Fictional 15 richest list, and Ghostface ‘Ironman/Tony Stark’ Killah rumored cameo + Samuel L and Hillary Swank’s are MIA, or are they?

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show

Fugitive Pieces
Holocaust Deficiency
Trailers & Mo

If you see one Holocaust themed film this year, you may have to wait a little longer cause this isn’t the one the to see (and we weren’t entirely sold on The Counterfeiters either [TWS review]). There’s no concentration camps to be found in this lyrical tale of an orphaned Polish kid (played later in life by Thomas Jefferson), who later finds surrogate love from a Greek geologist (Boris The Blade), but has trouble allowing himself to love others after he dies (although having sex with Rosamund Pike probably isn’t the wurstest thing to happen to a man w/o love to give). This film is unquestionable beautiful, but like its lead’s emotions, it feels kinda empty and lacks, for lack of a better word, concentration. It meanders back and forth from the past to the present, all leading up to a point where he’s finally able to make peace with his demons and open his heart to another (Ayelet Zurer, aka, Eric Bana’s hot Israeli wife in Munich). If you can get to that point and you’re still awake, we congratulate you, cause we were almost asleep in a pile of Reese’s Pieces

Exercising The Demons: Zurer can next be seen in da Da Vinci Code prequel Angels & Demons, opposite Tom Hanks (hopefully not with that hair) and Ewan McGregor

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

21
Pretty Busted
Trailers & Mo

Ben Mezrich’s book Bringing Down The House about real-life MIT students, who go from totally geek to totally chic, by counting cards and big bills in Vega$ is well worth reading. When it came time to turn it into a film, unfortunately, that title had already been used for a Steve Martin-Queen Latifah joint, so they had to change the name, and even more unfortunately, for Hollywood storytelling purposes, they changed much of what made the book so compelling. Our Asian protagonist has been replaced by an Anglo-Saxon (albeit a damn dreamy JOable one) one, all the specific rules that protected the team from getting caught have sorta been tossed to the side, and instead of having them travel to casinos across the country, the film only focuses on Vegas, and in particular to the Planet Hollywood Casino (we had no idea Planet Hollywood was still in bidness, let alone ran a gaming facility). Despite what was omitted, the film is entertaining, but it’s what was added to the story that doesn’t boat our
float (Laurence Fishburne’s disgruntled old-school eye in the sky security manager who beats people up, yet the book makes endless points of why casinos no longer bully card counters with fists + our Anglo-Saxon’s lameazoid schoolmates who know nothing of his double life and eat up way too much screentime, hispecially Josh Gad, who hands in the wurstestest movie geek/sidekick performance mt EVERest and FUJIest)

21 marks the third not-so fab screen pairing of Kevin Spacey and Kate BOOOsworth. The first two were the now forgettable Superman Returns [TWS review] and a film we dubbed ‘the WURST biopic AND movie directed by an actor EVER!‘, Beyond The Sea/Watchable [TWS review]. We’re praying to Jesus AND Moses that there isn’t a fourth pairing

Swimming With Card Sharks: read the book, skip the movie, and juss enjoy the opening of the classic game show Card Sharks [vid|empee3]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Iron and Pieces open Friday, while 21 continues to play in a theater near Jews

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…