The 2018 Thighsmans
we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2018
and now, for the only awards that matter…
Fifteenie Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards
aka
THE THIGHSMANS!!!
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Thing In A Movie That Was Lame-r Than Your Mom
that there’s a bad guy named after overpriced water
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Thing In A Movie From Another Movie That MOV(i)ED Me
I wasn’t ready and overlooked how amazing the Overlook Hotel shined in Ready Player One
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The 9th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of Please Go Away You Annoy The Living Poop Out of Me Over-Acting Actor Award
Lin-Manual-Miranda’s blimey as I live and breathe attitude as a character that doesn’t matter whatsoever in Mary Poppinz
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The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Man of The Year
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Eric Roberts
who had SIXTEEN ‘films’ released in 2018!!
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Gifs of the Gawds
they call him MISTER Rogers
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The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award
aka – this lady be DAMN fine award!!
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Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever
aka Bestest Eyes
Kiera Bell
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Hairing Is CaringÂ
Brian May & The Men of The Favourite
have the same hair!
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KFC Sucks, Except For This One Time
stereotypes are stereo-typical
BUT WORK FINGER LICKING GOOD in
Green Book
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Möst Bestest Racist Performänce By An Actor With An Ümulat In His Näme
Jasper Pääkkönen in BlacKkKlansman
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THAT Kid Who May One Day Become a ‘THAT Guy’ Kinda Guy
Jake Ryan from Eighth Grade
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Art Imitating Itself
Mike Myers Hating ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in the movie of the same name is genius
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Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Mailing It In With Mailman Karl Malone
‘Sail Away’ in Eighth Grade
all the Luxing & Grinding in Vox Lux
‘Shallow’
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Trailers Worth Tractoring
(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)
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Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!
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Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles
The Rider / Climax / On The Basis of Sex / 7 Days in Entebbe / Juliet, Naked / Her Smell / The Night Comes for Us / Chappaquiddick / Golden Exits
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Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award
Honor Kneafsey
&
the aforementioned
Jasper Pääkkönen
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Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots
didn’t realize all those cheesy Burt Reynolds car movies were actually awesome
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Wes Anderson and Jacques Henri Lartigue
So Tell Me Again, Why Did You Have To Die? Part VII
Sports Meet Movies Collection
BEST MOVIES OF 2018:
Boy Erased
Ben Is Back
Beautiful Boy
A Boy Named Ben
Ben Is Beautiful
Lucas Hedges: Live on Broadway
Ben, My Sweet Sweet Boy
Who Erased Ben?
Lucas Hedges: Back on Broadway
2 Beautiful 2 Boys
Gotti— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) December 6, 2018
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Movies To Look For In The ‘019
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Duo: A Star Wars Story
A Loud Place
HellFraiser
Second Man
Stan & DeliverÂ
18 Fast, 18 Furious
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In Memoriam
too many great names to name, so we’ll just leave it like this
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don’t forget to peep out our ’17,  ’16,  ’15, ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!Â
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…