you know the drill – 2014 was so 1014, and 2015 is so gonna be as awesome as 2112 will be.  Anywho, The Washington Post does a list thing, and so do we, cause the lord commands it…

OUT	IN
The Ice Bucket Challenge –	The Lice Bucket Challenge –
Meghan Trainor –	Tranny Meagan –
LARP –	Flarp –
ISIS –	The The –
Three Breasts –	Six Breasts –
Redskins –	Breadskins –
Mensch on a Bench –	Rat On A Cat –
Warby Parker –	Furby Frames –
Keith David –	David Keith –
Pharrell’s Hat –	Farrell’s Hats –
Serial Podcast –	Cereal Podcast –
Bitcoins –	Buttcoins –
Trivago –	Jillwaukee –
  Ferguson Unrest –	  Ferguson Well Dressed –
World Cup Fever –	Cup Noodles Indigestion –
Craft Beers –	Daft Fears –
Uber –	Goober –
Missing Planes –	Dissing Plane Geometry –
Kale Caesar –	Randall ‘Tex’ Cobb Salad –
Seth Rogen –	Count Rugen –
Venmo –	‘Fcuk You, Pay Me‘ –
The Fault in Our Stars –	The Fault in Our Czars –
Conchita Wurst –	Ahmed Best –
Flatizzas –	Flat Tits, Ahhhh –
Break The Internet –	Rumors On The Internets –
Bill Cosby –	Cill Bosby –
Children’s Books Written by Celebrities –	 Celebrities Written by Children’s Books –

–

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012, the ‘013, the ‘014

you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does its three, better or worser or perhaps even worse.  anywho, 2014 is so gonna be our year

 

OUT	IN
Selfies –	Shelfies –
Room 237 –	Room 238 –
Harlem Shake –	Bronx Malt –
Despising Ben Affleck –	Despising Ben Affleck –
1/8th Visible Boobs   –	3/8th Visible Boobs in an invisible plane –
Cronuts –	Bronuts –
Pleaves –	Plaves –
Kate Upton’s body –	Fred Upton’s body of work –
David Keith –	Keith David –
The Desolation of Smaug –	The Domination of Zog –
Yeezus –	Knowses –
Mayor Bloomberg –	Mayor McCheese –
Edward Snowden –	Snowed Inn Bed & Breakfast –
  Sarah Palin –	  Sara Palan –
Blockbuster Video –	Cartrivision –
Ray Donovan –	Donovan Ray –
Bacon –	BaccOff –
Gatsby –	Zaxby’s –
The Walrus Was This Andy Reid Baby –	The Walrus Was Karl Malden –
#ThrowbackThursday –	#ThrowupThursday –
Top Chef –	Topless Chef –
racist Redskins –	Simply Red’s bassist –
Carlos Danger –	Sir Reginald Safety III –
Orange Is The New Black –	Orangeface is the new Blackface –
JFGay –	RFGay [NSFW] –
Doritos Locos –	Utz Slutz –
Tony Romo, Choke Artist –	 Tony Santavicca, Sandwich Artist! –

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011, the ‘012 & the ‘013

you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser.  anywho, to 2013 and beyond, and be yawn

OUT	IN
McKayla is not impressed	Willie McGee knows you farted
Binders Full of Women jokes	any other kind of jokes
Kanye’s DONDA	Peter Fonda’s Bridget
Star Wars VII	Cowboys & Aliens -1
This Is Not A Fugazi Shirt	This Is A Benghazi Shirt
Argo Fuck Yourself	Go Fuck Yourself Ben Affleck [NSFW]
Large Soda Ban	Large Marge BAND-AID®s
Pinterest	Still Not Interested In Harold Pinter
Keith David	David Keith
Gangnam Style	Graham Greene Style
George McGovern	Mick George Construction
Fresco Jesus	Frisco’s Moses Limos
Honey Boo Boo	Jonah Bobo
  Higgs boson	  Bothan Spies
Jocking Joss Whedon	Flossing with Wil Wheaton
Ai Weiwei	‘Miuzi Weighs A Ton‘
Elite Quaterbacks	Elite Quarter Pounders
Senkaku Islands dispute	Temptation Island redux
Katniss & Peeta	Catshit on Pita
Fiscal Cliff	Schuyler Fisk Eating Clif Bars
Sesame Chicken Friday	General Tso’s Chicken Thursday
Clint Eastwood talking to a chair	Clint Eastwood boning Cher
48fps	Feel-Around
Fifty Shades of Grey	Fifty+ Years of Jennifer Grey
‘Zou Bisou Bisou‘	Steve Zissou Kissing Bijou Phillips at the Zoo
Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Bar	The Girl, Interrupted Cafe & Buffet
Danica McKellar The Mathematician	 Fruit Pie The Magician (HE’S COMING BACK YO!)

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, the ‘011 and the ‘012

Cloud Atlas
Some Cirrus-ious Stuff!!!
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
R | 172 min

Tom Tykwer & the Wachowski Brothers/Sisters took some unfilmable book and made a film out of it.  It’s ambitious, and it’s delicious.  There are 6 stories and they are sorta connected cause they tell us that they are, and cause a bunch of actors are each playing a role (sometimes in dreadful prosthetics & make-up) in all 6 stories.  The sextet doesn’t exactly add up to something monumental and profound, but the sum of its parts are quite sum-thing, and there is nary a dull moment to be found in.  Plus it’s better than Speed Racer!!!

Instead of reviewing it as a whole, we’re gonna review its pieces, in pieces.  PIECE OUT, YO!

Story 1 – Jim Sturgess is Seasick & Sick of Slavery

Easily the weakest of the 6 stories, cause mainly it involves watching Jim Sturgess vomiting on a boat, while his newly found/freed slave pal David Gyasi proves he’s a man just like white people!  Zzzzzz

Verdictgo: Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

Story 2 – Ben Whishaw Is A Repressed Gay Musician

If there was a movie where Ben Whishaw was talking and smoking non-stop, I’d see it 90000 times.  His voice is 2nd to NONE, and his smoking is, I dunno, but sometimes that voice needs to take a rest, and he looks so cool when he smokes!  In this story he’s a gay guy who dreams of being an important composer.  He starts working for some old composer who can’t fully compose anymore cause he’s old.  They work well together until they don’t.  When Ben isn’t composing music, he’s composing totally gay letters to his gay love Sixsmith (James D’Arcy), who gayly reads them.  It’s all totally gay AND straight, and a gay ole time.  It was like watching The Hours, but actually not boring

Verdictgo: Jeepers MOS DEFFFFFF Worth A Peepers

Story 3 – Halle Berry Is A Foxy Woodward & Bernstein

It’s the 70s, and you know this cause everything’s mustard or brown colored.  It’s true, cause that’s what movies about the 70s do.  Halle Berry has some hot info from Ben Whishaw’s gay lover that some nuclear power plant is up to no good. The plant is run by Hugh Grant, and lemme tell you, out of all the actors playing 239288 roles in this movie, Hugh Grant does the bestest work, and shows more range in this movie that he has as a fop in 3992929 foppish British rom-coms.  HOLLYWÃœRST – LET HUGH GRANT BE IN EVERYTHING!!  Anywho, the nuclear power plant don’t take kindly to a nosy reporter and sh!t goes down, like attempted murders AND murders!  Keith David is in it, but not David Keith

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Story 4 – Jim Broadbent Flies Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

This is the most pointless story out of the 6, but it’s actually the most funest!  Jim Broadbent is a publisher, and after some stuff happens, including a ghetto Tom Hanks doing ghetto stuff, Broady is sent to an old age home that he can’t get out of.  To make matters worse, he’s constantly being harassed by the old age home’s lady nurse played by Hugo Weaving, thus proving that Hugo Weaving can play an asshole in any sex, color or creed.  Anywho, Jimmy wants to escape and finds other people who want to do the same thing, and that’s kinda that with this, and it’s the funest!

Verdictgo: Jeepers Worth A Peepers

Story 5 – Doona Bae Is A Hot Korean Slave Clone With Bobbed Hair!!!

Dude, Doona Bae needs to be my wife.  She is so hot, as a clone slave with bobbed hair who serves food.  This story is THE creme of the da la soul creme.  It makes me want to creme all over myself.  And it’s the best of the six not just cause there’s bobbed Korean clone slaves serving food, but cause there’s a really cool tale in here and it could work as its own movie, and we wish it was its own movie, cause then there’d be a whole movie of Doona Bae with a bob serving food!  But she doesn’t just serve food.  She’s a clove slave with thoughts AND feelings, and those thoughts and feelings may juss spark a revolution!!!!

Verdictgo: BREAST IN SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Story 6 – Mad Hanks Beyond Thunderdome

The world has been destroyed and apparently the survivors are either tribesman that are scary or white people who speak jive just like in Airplane!.  No, really.  Tom Hanks speaks jive.  So does Susan Sarandon.  It’s laughable for about 2 minutes, but then it gets kinda interesting when future sexy Halle Berry shows up and needs Hanks’ help to do stuff.  This was one of the more intriguing stories, but one of the ones that we understood the least.  Maybe cause our brain kept wanting to see more of the Korean bobbed beauty!!!!

Verdictgo:  Jeepers Worth A Peepers

OVERALL Verdictgo:  Jeepers MOS DEFFFFFF Worth A Peepers

Atlas maps it up in a theater near jews TODAY!

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

you know the drill - The Washington Post does it, we does it too, better or worse or perhaps even worser.  anywho, to 2012, and beyondce…

OUT	IN
Kardashians	Calrissians
Tebowing	Bilbo Baggins’d
What About Bobbed?	What About Watermelon?
Adele	Bdele
Anthony Weiner	John Cocktosten
North Korea	West Korea
Amanda Knox	Amanda Knox’ Knockers
SMiLE	FRoWN
David Keith	Keith David
The Arab Spring	An Arab Remake of Sprung
Nostalgia	Yestalgia
basketball on aircraft carriers	jai alai on hovercrafts
being compared to Hitler	being compared to Houghton Mifflin
Dragon Tattoos	Pete’s Dragon Tattoos
Godfather’s Pizza	Dogfather Hot Dogs
Quickster	Slowster
Steve Jobs	Steve Unemployeds
Words With Friends	Winwood & Friends
Silent Films	Ceylon Films
Louis CK	BK Dymacels
Skinny Jonah Hill	Jonah Hill’s Skin Flute
Sleep No More	Awake Yes Less
Casey Anthony	Casey Siemaszko
Occupy Wall Street	Rockupy Hollywood & Vine
Bridesmaids	Chi McBride‘s Maids
Osama bin Laden	Coleslama bin Laden
Winning	Whinnying
Kepler-22b Jokes	Uranus Jokes
Penn State Inappropriate Touching	Penn State Penitentiary Inappropriate Touching

and here’s what was In Oder Aus in the ’006, the ’007, the ’008, the ’009, the ‘010, and the ‘011