Thighs Wide Shut

[dinty more]

and…

Have you seen Charlotte Church’s new vid for her next single ‘Call My Name’? Neither of I (since I can’t figure out this site), but if these snaps are of any indication, it could be the single most beatoffable vid since Madonna’s see-thru bazammbies in ‘Vogue’.

[more here]

• Will Samwise Gamgee edge out Edgar to win the love of Chloe AND save America for the humpteenth time?

• Do dreams ever come true? Yes they doesly do as the bestest most kiddiest eclecticiestest mp3 site around finally dug up The Three Caballeros sdtrk… although no tracks featuring Donald D and his dos amigos.

• When is the madness of Madness heading our way? Dunno, but they do have 6 West Coast dates lined-up

• Who almost became President of Iraq? Whatever you do, don’t tell it to Mr Hand!

• Wanna dress like Ryan Atwood, John Q Hipster, or a complete jackasshole?

• Ever wanted to own yer own Bob Ross painting like yers Thighly? Well, I contacted their afroed-Inc and this is what they had to say

• Can’t tell yer acrylic from yer cyrillic? Then you may have a tuff time d-loding a ton of t.A.T.u. mp3yummyness. Don’t forget to czech out the second page for some remix goodies.

• Are you gonna catch Cut Copy on tour with the Archdukes this fall? Well catch their vid for ‘Saturday’ here

• Have you seen Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story?

• Worried about the people in your neighborhood? You should be: Map(of)SexOffenders.com

• What’s the best way to raise money for your separatist campaign movement? Porn, snatchurally [via Prof Gryth]

• When is the 27th Annual Mooning of Amtrak set for? All Day Saturday, July 8, 2006

• When will the Neverending Comparison end? Never, cause it’s neverending by design. Anywho, we finally found a picture of Falkor & her always moody sister Mischa occupying the same space and the same thyme…

Stolen directly from Falkor’s Bar Mitzvah photo album

Tara Reid Admits Her Breasts Are Fake

No word on if she has any brain activity

• Genius to team up with Genius. Effin genius!

• Natalie Portman prepares to play Mr T

• Falkor Barton falls for a Kim Thayil wannabe

• HRT the IIIrd ready to unleash the greatestist smelling mace

• New Fugees single in a fortnight + a 1/2 a fortnight?

• Samurai Armstrong proves there’s life after superjews Seth Cohen AND Ari Gold [via ASF]

• Charlotte Church’s choir director sentenced to 20 years in prison

• Could a new polo resort in Indio force Coachella to move elsewhere?

• Jack White would like to buy the world a Coke. Meg, a Faygo.

• Bjork ready to get her skeletons swan dress outta her closet

• What shines yer balls more? The news of new Lebowski DVDs, one version complete with a bowling towel and drink coasters, or the fact that the Dude is ready to roll another 10 frames, if only the Coen Bros oil the lanes? Well both are betterer than talks of Old School 2… unless it’s 90 minutes of this.

• Menupix, pix of menus from the NYC, SF, and BOS areas. I know it’s legit cause they have a the menu from my mos flavorite $4 Cubano sangwhich place

• The Human Zoo

• What did people use before toilet paper was invented?

• The only watch I’d consider wearing: Atari’s limited edition Asteroids watch [via Dr Falada]

• And big ups to my man main Raykwan the Chef (the monkey in the middle) who is on his way to becoming a full on JAG-off. Good to see the military can spend zillions on things that go boom in the night, but not a cent to update their Gomer Pyle/John Kerry unies.

No doubttle that Sharalovely was gonna top Russian Forbes‘ Richiest list, but who knew that Ivan Stroganoffallovermyleg and Whobitzor Kockoff pocketed such mad rubles? Now how bout a random snapple of Miranda hOtto…

• Probably the breastest drama Lohag will ever star in

• Watch the trailer for Leaf Phoenix’s Walk The Line

• Falkor’s sister slips nip [NSFW]

• I wonder if Eleanor lost Andy is a twisted sex bet with Alex?

• Thank heaven for the Heaven 17 reunion

• Yawning celebrities

• Life juss become a whole lot pointlesserthanzero: The Egg and Muffin toaser

• The Trainspotting tour, NSFW Kelly MacDonald horse riding not included

• Former Miss Newfoundland & Labrador Titleholders Sherylynn Butt

• And are the bootleg Engrish Revenge of the Sith subtitles the new bootleg Engrish Two Towers subtitles? [via Dr Falada]

• Coachella set times are posted. Note to those going: The Fiery Furnaces are playing outdoors and not in a smelly tent so you have no eggscuse snot to peep them and their lovely lovelyness.

• I wonder what Dawson and Pacey think of this???#@?! Well, the peep-holes hath spoken.

• LOHAN ACCUSED OF SURGICALLY ENHANCING LIPS

• Lettuce all pray (you too womensz) that Alba changes her stance about nudity when Sin City 2 & 3 get going.

• Ricky G’s Extras has been picked up stateside by The BO! [via Zeit]

• Steve Hartman’s yard sale

• Anyone else miss ‘the early days of Paige Six: posting smutty pictures‘?

• Free passes in various cities for Cinderella Man

• Gov’mint trying again with the dollar coin. Boo-urns to that! At least they realized that no one wants a woman on our coins. Sorry bizatches, but tits true!!

• Bid on Lunch with Paul Simon and Chevy Chase at Gramercy Tavern. And maybe you can call them (p)Al. [via The Gum]

• Ladies of Star Trek [via Gorilla Masq]

• The Big Easel

• Louis Armstrong’s ‘Oops, I Did It Again’ [via Itz Richy]

• Zoo Wants Chimp To Stop Smoking

• Bestest Coz quote of ’05: “Yooooooouuuu seeeeee, me Dizzzzeee think that this is a flazzication of numerous tumorous flizzumations! And your association with the assassination of Haitian nations is both bozzle worthy and flozzum and jetsum like George Jetson!!! Theoooooo!!!“

• Some People juss have no taste. Julia Oral Roberts as yer cover girl? What the fork has she dunn all year? Spankfully not act in movies. MONA LISA SNOREZZzzz!! Wellie, they at least gots some of dem right, but here’s my list of the Top 50 Mos Hottiestest People (in pardickular order): Jude Law, Peabs & Coz, Mandy & Dinty Moore, Alba, Falkor & his sister Mischa, Joe Gibbs, Gabrielle Union, Clive Owen, Uncle Ben, Miranda Otto, Ziyi Zhang Ziyi, Wink Martindale, Rachael Ray, Charlton Heston, Jane Jetson, Tom Welling, Lukas Haas, Brande Roderick, Diego Luna, John Stossel’s mustache, my mum & dad, Camilla Belle, Pat O’Brien, Monica Blue-cheese [NSFW], Eleanor and Matt Friedberger (the real FFs), Keira ‘I spank of u’ Knightley, Martin Freeman, Natalie Portwoman, Brad from ‘Hey Dude’, Peter/Liam/Noel Gallagher’s eyebrows (all count as one person), Marcia Cross, Numa Numa dude, Mayor McCheese, Judge Reinhold, Devon ‘The Owl’ Aoki, Ignatius J. Reilly, Kate Boosworth & Orlando Boo, Tippi Hedren, the Utz girl, Neil Diamond, the Kid, Jessica Fletcher, Eric Thomann, that foxy Maid Marion from Disney’s Robin Hood, and duhvs course, yer Royalistic King & Queen of Thighland…

[more pics here]