is this bearded guy…

what child actor Barret Oliver looks like today????

according to anonymous, it is!!! [indirectly via D&D]

who cares if it is or is not, but we needed an eggscuse to post this pic!!!

we hope this story is NEVERENDING!!!!

Deep Roy, a short (no pun intended????)
but shlong overdue appreciation

a selected, but celebrated, filmography

Eastbound & Down – Aaron (2010)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Oompa Loompa (2005)
Big Fish – Mr. Soggybottom (2003)
The NeverEnding Story – Teeny Weeny (1984)
Return of the Jedi – Droopy McCool (1983)
Flash Gordon – Princess Aura’s Pet (1980)
The Pink Panther Strikes Again – Italian Assassin (1976)

perv-iously appreciated: Chelci Ross

The Lovely Bones
Rattle & Huh?
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

You know right off the bat that lil Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan and her impeccable set of peepers, who can purty much own the world of acting for the rest of her life if she wants to) gonna die. She tells us this in voice-over, and so we wait and wait for her innocent youth to be stripped from her body and her soul to linger on forever in the heartbroken minds of her family (including miscast parents Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz). And by the time we’ve gottsen to know Susie Q with her simple hopes and dreams (she’s ohhhh so close to kissing the hot guy with the curly hair!!!), and her vibrant colorful 70s world (the costuming rox & the shopping mall was so mad foreals it gave it chills… see below) we didn’t want her to die. And yet she does. Then the movie, based on Alice Sebold‘s breastselling novel, splits into two worlds: the one she left behind and the new one she’s stuck in, a sorta fantasia purgatory where she comes to terms that life is over

The world without Susie is where Peter Jackson (w/scripting partners Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens)’s film excels, and the other, a dreamlike wonderland, turns out to be one giant CGI-filled nightmare. Remember that scene in Contact where Jodie Foster talks to an alien who looks like her dad on a distant planet’s beach, and how crummy it looked? All of the Lovely Bones netherworld stuff is juss as crummy if not more crummy (also probably a lot like What Dreams May Come, but we never saw that, so we can’t vouch if it’s crummy or is as crummy)! There’s a lot of this nonsense, and maybe it worked in the book where you could picture it however you wanted to, but brought to life on screen, it’s kinda more dead than Susie. Petey was certainly the right man for this job, but if he can’t pull it off then no one probably can (well, maybe Tim Burton?)

While Susie explores la-la land, her family grieves and her killer (Stanley Tucci, one of the few bright spots in the film, who with green contact lenses out creeps Michael Jackson and his yellow eyes that pop out at the very end of the ‘Thriller’ video) remains at large, and barely in charge. The heat starts to turn up on him as a suspect, with Susie’s sister (hello lovely boned Rose McIver!) carrying the torch of the witch hunt. So what’s the focus here? Catching the killer? Letting Suse rest in peace? Having Markie Markus prove that he can do more than talk to animals? None of the above?

Time continues to pass and pass, but the girl’s haunting memory remains for one and all. We’re haunted as well, but sadly more so by those not so surreal surreal images that made us wish that The Nothing would swing on by and eat up her neverending story

Last Mall Standing: THE MALL!!!! yes, that funky retro looking mall in Bones is the effin shaz!!! and how could it not with it’s LOTR nod early on (look for it in the bookstore window) and Peter Jax cameo (juss remember, he’s skinny these days). and ya know what, it is indeed fo real (or was)!!! Although most of the filming was dones up in New Zealand (duh!), the mall shiz was dones down, second unit style, at MacDade Mall, right outside of Philly!! Here’s a Flicka set of the mall’s closing, and another of it reborn as a Lovely 70s hang out + some video shmideo!! Thirsty for more ye olde awesomes malls? then look no further then this classic thigh fav: Malls of America: Vintage photos of lost Shopping Malls of the ’50s, ’60s & ’70s

Verdictgo: Jeepers Somewhat?? Worth A Peepers

Skin
Deep!
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

We’re a fan of anything with the word ‘skin’ in it (cept for J Simpsons’ In My Skin & CANCER!!!): Skins, Mysterious Skin, potato skins, Mr Skin, your mother’s silky smooth skin, and flubvs course, the Redskins. Add Skin, a South African true story about a dark skinned girl (we remember you Sophie Okonedo!) born to white parents (Sam Neill and Alice Krige, both so fine maybe they shoulda been the Lovely Bones parents) struggling to define herself in the time of apartheid, to that list!!! Bring some Kleenex, but leave the Jergen’s at home you dirty fork, cause this film is juss toooo greaaaaaaaaaaaaat to miss!!!!!

Verdictgo: Breast In Show, yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bones opens in NY/LA only this Friday and elsewhere elsewhen. Skin be already being thick in limited release

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Where The Wild Things Are
Add Depth Tation
Trailers & Mo | Official Website

We’ve been baffled, befuddled and blindsided as to what to make of Spike Jonze‘s much more than 10 sentences movie version of Maurice Sendak’s long beloveded (which our mumsy can’t figure out why it is so) Caldecott Medal winning Where The Wild Things Are picture book. It’s inventive, audacious, dreamy, bleak, and downright boggleminding. It also happens to be the biggest big screen risk in recent memory that a studio has taken by letting Mr Jonze’s Sendak approved work play out as it is. No wonder there was a lot of fuss between the WB and the director, cause it’s a remarkable unmarketable flick

Can’t say that we truly loved it, but can’t say that we didn’t either. One thing we can say is that you should stock up on yer shrooms intake before viewing, and even if you don’t, you should still probably see it cause you’ll get juss as delirious even if yer sober. Don’t know if kids will take to this very un-PG PG pic at all, but it’s middle section, where the Wild Things actually are, is seen just like a children’s book usually reads – free flowing, with no real rhyme or reason other than to entertain the end user with a nice little moral or message. In someone else’s hands (besides Gondry or Burton, hell, let’s throw Kubrick’s name in there as well), WTWTA, would have been a disaster, so it has to be said that Jonze hit the nail on the head, even if there wasn’t exactly a blueprint on how to turn this short book into a full fledged feature (we’d love to see him go through with the aborted Harold & The Purple Crayon adaptation he planned to make… czech out this test footage)

Best way to describe what it was like to experience the imagery heavy/plot light WTWTA is thru… heavy imagery, and even more sentences than 10! we’ve rarely done this in this past, and it was only to show how awful a movie is, like VanHelSucks, or not, like The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

take one kid who looks as innocent as Elijah Wood
with a real name (Max Records) as fake as Max Powers

but make him a bit cooler, and more rambunctious
like Corey Haim and/or Corey Feldman
before theys became uncool and had a reality show

then force him to wear a pair of footie pajamas
that are less gay than Ralphie’s

topped with a Burger King crown

then have him get totally pissed at his family
cause no one has time to pay attention to him
esp his mum Catherine Keener who has to appear by contract
in any Charlie Kaufman or Kaufman-esque type movie

who dates Mark Ruffalo
who’s in the movie for like literally 39 seconds
and therefore gots like the easiest paycheck mt EVERest

then the kid runs away and somehow finds a boat
and sets sail for the cliffs of insanity!

or a rocky beach where the Goonies see the light of day!
or any sorta odd island type place ala Lost or Lord of The Flies

where he then runs thru a creepy Twin Peaks forest

that’s not as creepy as Lakeforest Mall in Gaithersburg, MD

where he meets a bunch of harry goof balls that look like
incredibly hi-tech updated versions of Chuck E. Cheese’s
animatronic house band The Pizza Time Players!

with voices that sound an awful lot like
Tony Soprano, Claire Fisher, the milkshake drinker,
that closeted gay dad from American Beauty,
the last king of Scotland and Catherine THE GREAT O’Hara
who’s name alone conjures up that one in a zillion voice

and theys also look like

Falkor and Mischa Barton

and pretty much anything else from
The Neverending Story eggcept this

although kids, incorporated or not, loves the Limhal

and then the boy and the harry and the henderson goofballs
goof around like theys was on Romper Room

and beat the fork outta each other like Romper Stomper

and then theys walk the desert

which aint got no two suns like Tatooine!!

and so theys do this stuff, and then run thru
the forest again and then the desert again

and everytime theys does, you hear some some
Polyphonic Spree type-o positive music by Karen O and The Kids
which is brilliant stuff, but is played a lil too often

and then theys build a fort

with a center consisting of a circle thingie
that looks like the New World Entertainment logo

and then the kid and the hairy things get mad at each other or something and then make up or something and then it’s time for him to go and then he does and then it ends

and another Dave Eggers penned flick that attempts to
pull at yer heart strings doesn’t really pull at anything
juss like his Away We Go did/didn’t

All Hands On Sendak: best gift for kids that we get all of our friends’ kids be the Nutshell Library, which includes our flav Sendaks, Alligators All Around, Chicken Soup with Rice, One Was Johnny, and Pierre. not so sure of their greatnesssss? then why did the wonderful Carole King lend her pipes to singing his books as Really Rosie, eh? read em, listen to her CD and feel the earth move under yer feet

Verdictgo: so effin luol dang strange, but that shouldn’t stop you from peepering this Jeepers Worth A Peepers

WTWTA opens at a theater near jews today

and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

Breast In Show

Falkor?

[above idea donated from Anon Amos]

maybe we should finally get around to reading the Sendak book before we see the movie, eh?