The 2015 Thighsmans
25. Feb, 2016 
2 Comments
we named the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2015
and now, for the only awards that matter…
Twelvethie Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards
aka
THE THIGHSMANS!!!
_
The Trash Humpers Biggest Piece of Humpy Trash Film of the Year!!!!!
Me and Earl and The Dying Girl
this movie makes me so mad cause it tries so hard to be cool and its the furthest thing from coeol, but it’s the closet thing to sucking poop from an ass
_
Most Entenmann’staining
Film of the Year
The Danish Girl
which was sadly NOT about danishes
_
The 6th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK This Joke/Career Muss Be Stopped Now Award
I still don’t get the deal that is
Rooney Mara
(who looks exactly like Disney’s Ichabod Crane)
_
The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
She Didn’t Like
Girl of The Year
 
Alicia Vikander
who had 7Â flix released in 2015!!
_Â
Gifs of the Gawds
_
Hairing Is Caring
Paul Giamatti as two different assholes
with two different asshole wigs
runner up – the wigs of The Big Short
_
Nice Piece of Glass
Iris Apfel’s and her
endless collection of glasses
_
Cry Me A Rivers
Melissa does mom Joan proud in Joy
_
Bob’s Big Girls
aka
The Bobbies!
these bobs are muy deniro!
_Â
The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award
we wants 2eat Courtney Eaton
2Â the max
 &Â
she’s fast ANDÂ she’s furious
 &Â
Anne Hathaway’s sweater puppies
in The Intern
&
I’d follows Maika Monroe anywhere
+
Spectrefapping
_
Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever
aka Bestest Scariest Eyes
Johnny Depp’s scary ass
depp blue eyes!!!!
 in Black Mass
_
Würstest Date Movie of 2014
Son of Saul
_
Always Bet On These Lil Shirley Temple Black (& White) Children
Raffey Cassidy
&
Evan Bird
_
Don’t You Forget About Me/These Forgetmenot Bon Mots
The John Hughes Driving Tour I Sorta Invented!
Han Solo Hands Things to Rey
GENE HACKMAN AS DOC BROWN??????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carrie Fisher’s adorable daughter Billie Lourd
THAT GUY is married to a 4 time Academy Award winning costume designer!!!!!
Buddy Ebsen was going to play the Tin Man in the 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz
Major League cards by Topps
THERE WERE FEMALE PILOTS IN RETURN OF THE JEDI!!!
a street called Lois Lane
Margot Kidder is SuperFLY!!!!!!!!
 
Woody Allen toots
Happy 99th Birthday Olivia de Havilland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Two Women With The Ass Crack Dress
The Kid from Left Field
two VHS tape covers/posters that made me wish I didn’t have eyes as a kid, and STILL creep me out to this very day
The Story of Star Wars 8-track
Funko’s ReAction action figures!!!
+
_
Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As Norman Bates
NWA’s greatest hits
‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ (Violin version) from COBAIN: Montage of Heck
‘You Could’ve Been A Lady’ by Hot Chocolate from Mistress Ameirca
Ellie Goulding – ‘Love Me Like You Do’
the Carol Sountrack
the Joy soundtrack
_
Trailers Worth Tractoring
(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)
 
 all the Star Warses ones / Max Max / Love [NSFW] / The Revenant / the Apu Trilogy restoration trailer / the voice over in Queen of Earth
_
Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!
_
Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles
The Lady In The Van /Â Under Milk Wood / 90 Minutes in Heaven / The Duff / Inside Out /Â The Longest Ride /Â Trumbo / The Big Short / Run All Night /Â Boonie Bears: Mystical Winter /Â Steve Jobs
_
Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award
Doodles Weaver
& Man Mountain Dean
& Steele StebbinsÂ
_
Movies To Look For In The ‘016
Bridge of Thighs
Uranus DescendingÂ
The Woman from A.U.N.T.
Untitled Unfunny Judd Apatow Movie
Breasts of Some Nation
Terminator Levitycus
Magic Mike XS
33 Jump Street: Generations
15 Fast, 15 Furious
_
In Memoriam
Spock
Dracula/Scaramanga/Lord Summerisle/Saruman/Count Sudoku
Omar Sharif
Wes
Â
Albert Maysles
 
The Other Dick Van + Jerry’s Wife/Ben’s Mom/Anne Meara + THE John Steed + Jason Voorhees’ mom + Stand By Me‘s Milo Pressman
Fagin
Leatherface & Maureen O’Hara
that suave-ass French actor who was in Octopussy
One Crazy Negron
& Rod Taylor and Ekberg
+ the guy who designed this
Dean Jones & Dickie Moore
& Jean Darling
Cindy Mancini
That Woman From Every 80s/90s Movie
Uggie
&
Mister Deltoid
_
don’t forget to peep out our ’14, ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!Â
if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
