Tag Archives: Borat

Eurasian Persuasion

Love Songs
(Les Chansons d’Amour)

Hits All The Right Notes
Trailers & Mo


It’s pretty fitting that lauded French director Christophe Honoré has the word ‘honor’ in his surname, cause this homme certainly loves celebrating his country’s rich cinema past in noveau modern ways. We weren’t fully enamored with his last love letter to the New Wave, Dans Paris [TWS review], but there was definitely something there to give em another go. Love Songs is his quasi-homage to Jacques Demy’s The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, where the characters break into song, in a normal conversational manner rather than a Alan Menken Disney cheese fest kinda way. Honoré’s collaborating composer Alex Beaupain penned all the ditties and the actors sing them in a recitative style that results in one of the bestest film scores we’ve heard since Michael Nyman’s score for Michael Winterbottom’s Wonderland. We haven’t stopped listening to it since we saw the screening and it has only wroked to enhance our love for the film as the days have passed. Yeah, there’s actually a movie in between the sweet sounds that explores love, love lost, love found again and even a ménage à trois (gawd bless the French!). And sure, the film may have a few flaws, like the early exit of Ludivine Sagnier and thus, no chance of her usual cinema NSFWness, but the songs not only carry a tune, they carry the film as well

Listening Booth: hear a couple of the fab songs fo yoself… ‘Delta Charlie Delta’ [d] and ‘La Bastille’ [d]

Ma Mère: Umbrellas of Cherbourg starred Catherine Deneuve and Loves Songs co-stars her daughter Chiara Mastroianni. The hottie mum and daughter have 9 joint ventures (according to IMDB’s nifty tool) between them, and most recently they lent their voices as a mum and a daughter in Persepolis [TWS review]

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show(tunes)

Boarding Gate
Bumpy In-Flight Entertainment
Trailers & Mo


Look at this snap of Asia Argento above. Have you seen anything more delicious in all your life, well besides these German meat creations? Tis a crying shame then that the stateside marketing folks decided against using it, unlike our less Puritanical European brethren, cause this film is mess, an enjoyable one at that, and you’d think they wouldn’t want to hold back on selling the film’s main attraction, Asia’s sexiness, hispecially since, like Ludivine Sagnier, she’s not so shy when it comes to movie NSFNess. Olivier Assayas’ latest lady in peril flick (we totally dug the last one, Clean [TWS review]) was shot on the quick and cheap and it certainly feels like it. It has no consistency, and the first half coulda been easily condensed into 15 minutes (probably has something to do with Michael Madsen and his overplayed since 1992 tough guy schtick). When the action shifts to Hong Kong in the second half, it fares a lot better, but it too lacks any clear focus (and having Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon thrown in for no reason doesn’t help matters). Luckily for us all Asia keeps this puppy moving, juss like her fingers near that smokin’ crotch

Photo Shoot Your Load: peep this NSFW spread with Asia and Adrien Brody

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): despite all its sloppy joeness, we still say Jeepers Worth The Peepers

both flicks open in limited release today

until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Oscar Bait Shoppeeee

and the noms de poop be…

Best Picture
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

we don’t know how my cocks or vaginas Fox Searchlight had to suck this month, but Juno for breast pic? The Oscars are officially as lame as Coachella

WINNER: There Will Be Blood, to make up for the 3 noms that aint even worthy of joining it in this category

Actor
George Clooney, Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

WINNER: a mustache = there will be gold for DD-L

Actress
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away from Her
Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Ellen Page, Juno

WINNER: Cotillard probably deserves it more, but Christie was unforgettable and the voters won’t forget it either

Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck, Ass of Jesse James
Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson’s War
Hal Holbrook, Into The Wild
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

WINNER: all amazing performances (although it was hard to stay awake during Jesse James), but Bardem’s hair is a cut above the rest of the competition

Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There
Ruby Dee, American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

WINNER: good for Saoaororise for gettin some dap, but this baby’s gone going gone to Amy Ryan. Hopefully her win won’t usher in another 1284848 movies with Boston accents

Director
Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Jason Reitman, Juno
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

WINNER: if Jason Reitman gets a nod for a Wes Anderson knock-off than his dad Ivan shoulda gottensen a nod for Kindergarten Cop. Schnabel all the way baby!!!

Foreign Film
Beaufort, Israel
The Counterfeiters, Austria
Katyń, Poland
Mongol, Kazakhstan
12, Russia

WINNER: never heard of ANY of these, so in a make-up call for the trashing of Kazakhstan in Borat, Mongol will be mongold!!!

Adapted Screenplay
Christopher Hampton, Atonement
Sarah Polley, Away from Her
Ronald Harwood, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men
Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

WINNER: score for Polley, but Oscar loves to spread the wealth between the mos nominated flicks so the Coens will get the call

Original Screenplay
Diablo Cody, Juno
Nancy Oliver, Lars and the Real Girl
Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton
Brad Bird, Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird,, Ratatouille
Tamara Jenkins, The Savages

WINNER: urrrrgh, Diablo Cody. Reading her EW columns makes us want to slit our eyes out… repoopulouslslsy!!

Animated Feature Film
Persepolis
Ratatouille
Surf’s Up

WINNER: should be Persepolis, and it might end up that way as Oscar night loves sirprizes

Art Direction
American Gangster
Atonement
The Golden Compass
Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
There Will Be Blood

WINNER: hmmmmmmm. A three way race, but we give the edge to Sweeney

Cinematography
Roger Deakins, The Ass of Jesse James
Seamus McGarvey, Atonement
Janusz Kaminski, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Roger Deakins, No Country for Old Men
Robert Elswit, There Will Be Blood

WINNER: will Deakins double dip cancel each other out? Perhaps. If that’s the case it’ll be either Elswit or Kaminski. We’ll say Elswit cause otherwise there may be even more blood!

Sound Mixing
The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma
Transformers

WINNER: more than meets the thighs… TRANSFORMERS!!

Sound Editing
The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
There Will Be Blood
Transformers

WINNER: BOURNE to win!

Original Score
Dario Marianelli, Atonement
Alberto Iglesias, The Kite Runner
James Newton Howard, Michael Clayton
Michael Giacchino, Ratatouille
Marco Beltrami, 3:10 to Yuma

WINNER: love that typewriter shiz so Dario Marianelli!

Original Song
“Falling Slowly” from Once, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
“Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, Music by Alan Menken
Lyric by Stephen Schwart
“Raise It Up” from Once, Nominees to be determined (what?)
“So Close” from Enchanted, Zzzzzzzzz
“That’s How You Know” from Enchanted, Zzzzzzzzz

WINNER: no Eddie Vedder? WTFredFunk? To hell with Enchanted‘s triple trip and to heaven with the kids from Once

Costume
Across the Universe
Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
La Vie en Rose
Sweeney Todd

WINNER: any of the 5 that aint Across The Universe. We’ll go with Atonement, but only cause Knightley put on her own wet t-shirt contest

Documentary Feature
No End in Sight
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience
Sicko
Taxi to the Dark Side
War/Dance

WINNER: gold in sight for No End in Sight

Documentary (short subject)
Freeheld
La Corona (The Crown
Salim Baba
Sari’s Mother

WINNER: we banged Sari’s mother and she was awful so it’s all about Salim Baba

Film Editing
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Into the Wild
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

WINNER: we’re gettin bored of picking these, so how bout Into The Wild since it won’t win much else

Makeup
La Vie en Rose
Norbit
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

WINNER: safest pick of the night… La Vie en Rose

Animated Short Film
I Met the Walrus
Madame Tutli-Putli
Même Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)
My Love (Moya Lyubov)
Peter & the Wolf

WINNER: we never got to bang Madame Tutli-Putli, so we think she’s a shoo-in

Live Action Short Film
At Night
Il Supplente (The Substitute)
Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)
Tanghi Argentini
The Tonto Woman

WINNER: ‘tonto’ means stoopid, and everyone loves a stupid woman!

Visual Effects
The Golden Compass
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Transformers

WINNER: Transformers, duh

POOOP!
with zero affection for Zodiac
we may join the writers and wilson picket the show
if it goes on!

Thighs’ Annual Oscar Pool details 5thcoming
Stay pooned!

Here were our early picks in the ’05 & the ’06 & the ’07

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will.i.am.legend

I Am Legend
Last Man Standing Room Only
Trailers & Mo


If there’s anything more adorable than a dog licking Will Smith’s face while he’s crying, well, we don’t want to know about it. But if the winter popcorn flick (the third adaptation of Richard Matheson’s novel of the same name… the first two being the Vincent Priced Last Man On Earth and the Charlton Hestoned Omega Man) in which that occurs had an alternate ending that would hold up better than the whatevs dot snore one they went with, then yes sir e bob, we do want to know about it. Are we asking too much of a big budgeted CGI-fest starring Will Smith? Normally, we’d say yes, yet I Am Legend actually has some brains goings on, to complement the brawn, that we were expecting a conclusion with juss a little more bite. Beyond the hamazin’ visuals of seeing NYC empty and filled with weeds and wild animals, there’s much to enjoy in the first 2/3rds of this film, even if most of it centers on Will chit-chatting with a dog and a bunch of mannequins (sorry, but there’s no Kim Cattrall cameo here). The last third is fine, but when you think of other recent post apocalyptic pics that had ended as well as it began, like Children of Men and 28 Days Later, one feels kinda slighted. Guess Akiva Goldsman, who also wrote the screenplay for the Will starring I, Robot, had nowhere else to go but frown. Although it aint his fault that the virus-infected ghouls running amok in Manhattan were a lamer and less gayer version of the robot from their first I collaboration. Maybe the two should pair up on a lighter I joint… say a do-over of I Spy?

I Am Rip Off: From the production company that brought you Snakes On A Train, Transmorphers and The Da Vinci Treasure, comes another timely cashing in straight-to-video poopfest, I Am Omega

John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): despite the terdish last thirdish, tis still Jeepers Mos Def Worth Del Peepers

Rental Round-Up Dawg: The Princess Bride celebrated it’s 20th b-day earlier this year, but if you read this site, you already know dis! But do you own the DVD? Chances are, you already do, since it was released twice before, but this go around has different extras, including a look back where Mandy Patinkin gets a bit emotional. And how could he not when he worked on one of the greatest films of the past 20 years! There’s also a preview for the upcoming game, but by the look and sound of it, it feels about as necessary as eating at The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co restaurant. The best treats aren’t even on the actual DVD. First was a lil ad insert featuring some purty cool shirts available at Steve & Barry’s, and the second? The title treatment on the box that reads the same when you turn it upside down! WOOOOAH!!!


until next thyme the balcony is clothed…

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Things Wide Shut

things…


1) we still JO to yer 12-year old boy body knightley [Soup-er-fish-haul]

2) Skins, still alive by the hairs of their chinny chin chins. In Todd Collins we trust drink Tom Collinses. Norman Chad still beerlarious

3) more lawsuits = even more free Borat movie publicity

4) juss cause these NSFW beauties aint of Tiger Woods’ trophy wife doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have your pants around your ankles right now

5) juss dem good ol’ boys toys


[Catalog Finds]

6) Kirsten Dunst, alive and bowling

7) Mathieu Amalric will make a flawsome Bond villian, and regardless of how thumcredible Christian Bale is, he won’t be able to bail out the Terminator franchise

8) want Galaga quilt, need Gallagher to quit

9) sure, blame finals week!

10) happy 33rd burstday to you Megan Martha White and yer slip sloppy jaloppy poppies!! although we’re sad to report that in these uncertain days & lays we’re more hot to trot for your NSFW fake sex taper than you


10.5) and this justin…


[Wizard/Spakula Da Foola]

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