Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, April 19

Girl Talk

Clean and Somersault
Girls Lives, Interrupted
C Trailer & S Trailer


I'm usually no fan of movie reviews that tackle two flicks at one time, but hey, I'm also not a fan of microwaved tunafish, and my mum got me a cake made of one for my 6th b-day party and there aint nuttin I can do about it. Now that we've gotten that vagina smellin bidness off our hairy baboon chest... On the surface, Clean and Somersault don't have much in common, but underneath the covers, they do. Both were highly touted and awarded films in 2004. Somersault basically cleaned house at that year's Australian Film Institute awards (like that's some kinda feat) and Maggie Cheung took home the Best Actress prize at that year's Cannes Film Festival, and for good reason, I mean, she had to speak in 3 different languages and go from burn out to makeshift mother in less time then it takes make 236 minute rice. And both of these simplistic lil gems are finally gettin their long overdue stateside releases. The two's themes are also similar in nature. Both feature a female who encounter something tragic very early on and spend the rest of the movie trying to pick up the pieces. In C, Ms Cheung's rockstar lover ODs, forcing her to get a life, hispecially if she ever wants to see her cherubic son again. In S, plucky newcomer Abbie Cornish gets caught playing kissy with mum's b-friend, and runs away hoping to find life's answers elsewhere. Along the course of their emotional journeys, both ladies suffer plenty of setbacks. But they also both move closer to the direction they should be heading in, with the help of a male figure (DUHVS course). In C, it's the always grizzly, always great Nick Nolte, and in S, it's some dude who looks like a mulleted Pierce Brosnan. So was the 2 year delay worth the wait? Not its wait in gold, but then again, what is? Nothing really, 'sides the Alabama leprechaun!

Recommended for those who like: the male portion of Mazzy Star (wait, there's a dude, in Mazzy Star?), British Petroleum, and Finley Quaye's sorta nephew

Possible Porno Names: Cum Clean, & All Over My Genes and Cumtasteslikesalt

Unsatisfied with these?: Netflix the ultimate in changing ladies changing into ladies, Tootsie

(Not) Fun w/Google: only 33 results for 'clean somersault' and 3 for 'dirty somersault'?

Apt MPupil3: 'Girl, You'll be A Woman Soon' by Neil Diamond AND Urge Overkill [d & d], and for shaz and goggles, 'Time To Change' by the Brady Kids [d]

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): both are Jeepers Worth A Peepers, but if you had to choose one over the other, wash yer effin hands and get Clean

Somersault opens in limited release the Friday, and Clean, a week later

Hornish for More Cornish?: Me too!! Don't worry aussie tossers cause the Ashely Judded-faced shelia will appear in three future flicks that all feature some of Australia's top acting brass. There’s Ridley Scott's A Good Year wit Russell Crowe, Elizabeth: The Golden Age wit Cate Blanchett, in the TITular role 1nce again, and Candy wit Heath Ledger as her lover. She also juss signed up for Kimberley Pierce's next joint.

If the webmaster of NonUsHotties.8k.com could get his shit together, we woulda been all over this Cornish hen ages ago!!


CORN!!!

ISH!!!!