1) I Col Klink a rematch of Super Bowl XXXI is in our future. And who wouldn’t want to see the Pats take on the Pack again, tenish years after the fact? The Cowboys are darn good, but ultimately, their defense blows and won’t get them anywhere close to the promise land. I don’t know if they made Jason Campbell look good or if he actually is good, but the Skins’ loss last nite to the Cowpokes was easily their best game of the year. And even though they keep losing, the NFC is so awful that they’re still right in the mix for a wild card spot. Actually, so are the Dolphins. At 0-10, they haven’t been eliminated for post season play… yet
2) I Col Klink I won’t be headed to Detroit anytime soon
3) If Ebert never returns to the At The Movies balcony, I think Michael Phillips should be the only choice to replace him. He’s the perfect foil to Roeper. AO Scott is mos certainly nott
4) I know you didn’t see it in theaters, so if you rent one DVD this turkey tweakend I Col Klink you should make it La Vie En Rose (TWS review | buy). If Marion Cotillard doesn’t win the Oscar for Best Bizatch Who Can Act, I’ll give up eating fried chicken… for one whole week!
6) I Col Klink that Adhir Kalyan could be the funniest man in America, as in Aliens In America. Who woulda thunk? Certainly not us!
7) From what I’ve heard thus far, I Col Klink Daft Punk’s Alive 2007 will go down at the bestest live album featuring pre-recorded music mt EVERest
8) I Col Klink it’s time for MTV to make the VMAs more like the EMAs. The ‘005 Borat hosted edish was probably the bestest awards show ever… not featuring boobs or slime
Lets get something clear right off the bat that doesn’t really need clearing up right or left off the bat: Dane Cook cannot act (unless memorizing lines counts as acting) , Juliette Binoche needs to be in more Hollywood movies (see Bee Season), and Steve Carell will succeed where Jim Carrey has somehow failed, by winning over audiences in both comedic and dramatic roles (Eternal Sunshine was amazin, but I wouldn’t call it a hit with audiences). These are obvious truths that are made even more blatantly obvious when you see Peter Hedges’ most enjoyable follow-up to his franztastic Pieces of April. Like with April, Hedges constructs a family unit that any one of us can identify with, cept this go around, the mood isn’t as dire. This dramedy could have easily turned into a cheese-fest ’87, but somehow it strikes the perfect balance between cute and cloying. DiRL is actually more akin to The Family Stone than April, but spankfully there’s no horseface in sight. And like The Family Stone, DiRL will totally be the mos rewatchable flick whenever it hits premium cable, foREALs! And for those of you playing at home, Borat has juss displaced The Devil Wears Parda as the mos rewatchable flick on that channel that used to have amazing shows and now has Tell Me You Bore Me To Death With Old People Forkin
2007’s Squeeze may not be the same exact line-up of yer older sister’s late 70s/early 80s Squeeze, but I doubt anyone’s losing sleep over Jools Holland’s absence, as long as the core duo of Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford are the ones carrying the torch. This is their first tour since the ’99, which is a good thing for me, cause outside of a few of their hits (‘Tempted’, ‘Mussels From A Shell’, & ‘Take Me I’m Yours’), I didn’t really get into them until a few years ago. And from the 20 or so tunes I now know, Squeeze RAWKINly played half of them, leading me to want to discover all the rest. The setlist was similar to the show they played at the Nokia Theater two nights before, with much bestness abound. And the fans? Well, these 45 year-olds were eatin it up. So much so that I got goosebumps when Squeeze ended the first set with ‘Cool For Cats’ and when the band left the stage, the entire place was chanting ‘Ewwwwwwww Ewwwwww Eww’ until they reemerged for the encore
Being one of the world’s fifthmost Clockwork Orange fans, I’ve endlessly heard that Lindsay Anderson’s classic if…. was required viewing. For years I waited for the DVD to be released, and after it finally was, I had to wait another 2 months before Netflix found a copy available to send me. And worth the wait it mos certainly was! Malcolm McDowell‘s feature film debut as a rousing rebel private school student is required viewing for everyone, even if you hate on ACO. You should also czech out the audio commentary with film critic/historian David Robinson and duhvs course McDowell. Cause one shouldn’t go thru life with a bunch of ‘what if….s’
Space Cadet: Sunshine marks the third collaboration between director Boyle and writer Alex Garland. The others were The Beach and 28 Days Later. None too shabby, and I’m sure the next movie he’s writing won’t be either. It’s a lil project called Halo
Byrne Baby Byrne: is there anyone cute-afyin the silver screen any quiter and butter than Queen Amidala impostor RoseByrne? If there is, I don’t even wanna know about tit
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show
+ endless hours of Wii tennis
which gave me a sore arm aka Wiidonitis (soon to be added to WebMD)
+ introducing the gayest movie ever
to a friend not in the know
Sunday
The Bourne Ultimatum Bourne Again (wonder if anyone else came up with sum tang that clever) Trailers & Mo
Although nothing transforms in Bourne 3, I dare you spray that it’s not the popcorn pleaser of the summer. If you double dare me back, you knows I’ll be taking that effin physical challenge so eat it you jerkface or I’ll turn your Marc Summers into the Marc winters of your discontent! Dude, Bourne Ults was outta forkin control. I couldn’t stop saying to meself, how the fizzle did they film and edit this pizzle? The action never seemed to stop, even when Edward R. Murrow kept sayin goodnight and good luck and FBI Chief of Behavioral Science Jack Crawford kept pining for Clarice Starling and Julia Stiles made this face for the humpteenth thyme and Daddy Warbucks tried to buck Bourne in the pooper. Shiz may be called Bourne Ultimatum but with its love from below and above, shiz coulda been called Bourne To Rizock The UlTomatoMeterum
Sprinkle Z Deutsch: Daniel Brühl plays the brother of Franka Potente‘s deceased character Marie. The two German acting dynamos have only been paired up in one movie before, $chlaraffenland
The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side: while Paul Greengrass may be the king of documentary style fictional filmmaking, Barney Greengrass is the king of sturgeon. And regardless of how funny Kevin James is, I will never ever watch an episode of the King of Queens
John Grisham’s Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show
The Police Giants Stadium (Go Skins!) August 5th
Ever since I was blown away and I blew myself watching Simon & Garfunkel reunited at MSG, I knew had to see any group that I hearted if they decided to ever reform. The Police were juss such a band, and hispecially so since it seemed like they would never get back together cause Sting is a prick and he’s too busy sending his love down a well. Well, the cheeky bastards still gots it, and the show’s setlist, which seems to be the same from city to city, is purrrfectly suited for those Greatest Hits only fans like myself. Now I wouldn’t hexaggactly say that I was blown away (the Squeeze show was actually better) or ready to blow myself or even Jude Law for that matter (OHHHH Jude Law and your juicy cock!), but I’m still glad I saw the show. Now that this reunion is outta the way, I want a police reunion of a whole different medium: Sgt. Joe Friday and Pep Streebeck. Juss the facts ma’am, and juss watch this vid of Hanks and Akroyd rappin to a tune called ‘City of Crime’
19. Nov, 2007 
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