Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, July 18

Laid Deez Night

La Vie En Rose (La Môme)
Sad Songs Say So Much
Trailer

For each of the past three years, we've been dazzled by a performance in a biopic that when we left the theater, we instantly knew that each of those actors were going to walk away with an Oscar. In the '04, it was Jamie Foxx channeling Ray Charles. In the '05, we said tru-dat to Phil S Hoffnad's take on Truman Capote (even though Toby Jones' nasal passages in Infamous shoulda been mo famous for the role). And in the '06, twas Forest Whitaker's meanie Amin that timbered our britches. For the '07, instead of betting the farm on a man, we've decided to send all our love to one actress. The actress in question, with the golden touch come next March, is Marion Cotillard. Qui? Well, if you didn't see her bein smarmed by Russell Crowe in A Good Year or be a good listener to hubby Billy Crudup's crusty olde tall tale teller of a father in Big Fish then that name or face probably won't ring a bell. But bells are certainly ringing now, with or without you sucka MCs, cause anyone who exits a screening of the ever mos lovely La Vie En Rose will not soon forget Cotillard's career-defining work as legendary French singer Edith Piaf. Hell, outta the golden biopics mention above, Rose is by far the bestest of the bunchest! I could go on and on, but what more do you need to go on? This shiz is magnifique!

Apt MPupil3: Edith Piaf's unforgettable 'Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien' [d|vid]

You Got Served: I'm still waitin for someone out there to upload the infamous Sammy Sosa Denny's ad up on YouTube, where he tells Tony Gwynn how he was traded for Wade Boggs and a side of rice pilaf

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show•


Evening
Isn't It Morning Yet?
Trailer & Mo!

From the people that brought us The Hours comes an even more snoozerific outting with even more great actressesesesez abound, but unfortch, none are a-gagged! Er, uh, um, whatever. Anywho, Evening is about Vanessa Redgrave babbling on her death bed to her daughters (Toni 'The Teeth' Collette & real life kin/hottie Natasha Richardson... what, was Joely too busy?) about people in her past that she wanted to bone more than once. As V-Reds goes back in forth between Babble-On and La-La Land, so do we. While it was dandy to peer into her past, it was the present that was the wurstest gift of all! Dat's right. I is saying they shoulda done away with the old woman moaning about crap and instead juss show us the crap. Why does everyone keep forgettin the phrase that pays: show me, don't tell me? I dunno, but the mo important question is, why do I have the red hots for Meryl Streep's daughter, Mamie Gummer, who plays the younger versh of her character in da past? While you willie ponder that, I'll be shooting my modern-day remake of Deep Throat with Mamie G. I call it: Streep Throat!

House, MD RI: building sets are for wusses, and that's why the peeps behind Evening utilized two real be-yute-tea-ful Rhode Island homes for the flick. On top of that, one street scene was filmed 10 blocks from ThighLand castle

Yours, Mine and Hours: while nuttin can take the cake away from Ben Stiller's Die Hard 12 trailer, this parody preview of The Hours from a few years back still ices our vices...


John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

& if you Netflux one movie this weak, make it...


Shiz was franztastic. And yes, we do realize that Ryan Phiillliippppee is in it too! Hell, the biggest mistake we've made all year, besides not buying a second copy of our junior high yearbook, was not seeing Breach in theaters! Shame on us! Go Jaguars!

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Laid Deez Night