Liam Neeson Kills People: The Movie Part 38312727318993241495190437105718579475987847185749875747534195794375
Taken 2
Raging Istanbul Shiz
Official Website | Trailers & Mo
PG-13 | 92 min
Things are so tuff for Liam Neeson!!! He and his family keep taking nice little European trips and keep getting kidnapped by Serbians!!!!!  But that won’t stop them from having a good time, or throwing gernades, or drawing circles on maps, or killing Serbians, or teaching his daughter how to drive!!!!  YESSS!!!
OK, Taken 2 is no masterpiece, but it aint no master piece of sh!t neither, but it’s not good, but it wasn’t eggzactly as awful as that movie where he boringly fought wolves OR the movie where he boringly had amnesia, so this is pretty much the best Liam Neeson movie since Chloe, which really isn’t saying much, but Luc Besson written movies haven’t been saying much ever since he gave up being creative after The Fifth Element.  LUC BESSON, STOP WRITING THE SAME MOVIE OVER AND OVER WHERE PEOPLE DRIVE CARS AND SHOOT GUNS (which isn’t eggzactly the worsttt, it’s juss the same thing, again and again)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND IF YOU CAN’T STOP, JUSS MAKE A FCUKING PROFESSIONAL SEQUEL ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh, and DB Sweeney is in this movie for 8 seconds!!!!!
Verdictgo: it’s not awful, and we kinda actually enjoyed its stupidity, so low end Jeepers Worth A Peepers garbage
Taken 2Â is so close to leaving theaters that you can juss wait for video or don’t even bother
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
A Wolf in Sheep’s Boring
The Grey
Crash Grab
Official Website |Â Trailers & Mo
R | 117 min
From the looks of the image above, Joe Carnahan‘s The Grey looks like a Liam Neeson kicks mad a$$ with broken gla$$ flick from frame one til frame done, but guess what?  THIS ONLY HAPPENS IN ONE OF THE VERY LAST FRAMES OF THE MOVIE AND THEN IT CUTS TO THE CREDITS BEFORE ANY ACTUAL KICK A$$ WITH GLA$$ HALF-FULL OF AWESOMNESS STUFF HAPPENS!!!!  So what leads up to this end shot?  Um, these ragtag dudes (Liam + Dallas Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Frank Grillo, etc) work in Alaska or something and are going home or something, but then their plane crashes or something, and the people who survive the crash try their very best to stay alive, and by doing so, they tell really boring stories and show pictures of their loved ones, but we’re sure their families don’t give one sh%t about them cause we don’t care about these people and we only had to spend a little under two hours with them.  And what about them GREY wolves?  Oh yeah, they’re all about wanting to eat these survivors and come in and out of the movie like every 15 minutes so we don’t fall asleep.  Guess what, not even the wolves eating the survivors can prevent the snoozes
moral of the story – forget you even saw that image above and instead juss rent a real life survival story, like the brilliant docurama -Â Stranded: I Have Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains, aka the bestest movie we saw in 2008Â
Making Progress: before he hunted down wolves and eastern Europeans, Neeson made his acting debut in 1979’s Pilgrim’s Progress
Verdictgo: has no real reason for being, herspecially anything but boring, so Slit Your Eyes Out Repoopulous
The Grey is shady at a theater near jews today
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed…
7thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards
we already showed you the hottie hotness in movies 2010, and then picked the breastest movies of the beastest of 2010 (with the late addition of Dogtooth!!), and now it’s time for everything else movies 2010!!! welcome to the…
7thishendith Anal
Thighs Wide
Movie Awards
now called
THE THIGHSMANS!!!
The Death to Smoochy
Worstest Pictures
of the Year
& Clash of The Titans in ‘3-D’
*also happens to be one of the year’s bestest too!
_
The Gus van Sant
Most Pretentious
Most Overhyped
Most Boring Movie of The Year
That Has Only One Line of Dialog
Repeated 9272767 Times
‘You Seen My Daddy?‘
runner down: True Grit
_
The Bare Un-Necessities/
Coulda Been A Contender
the reunion of Brian Cox and Paul Dano
_
Trailers Worth Tractoring
Catfish, The Social Network, Enter The Void, TRON Legacy
Somewhere, Let Me In, I’m Still Here, Black Swan,
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World & Inception
and the wurst: Exit Through The Gift Shop
_
Poster Her!
Poster We!
Poster Haste!
+ 18 minus boo-nus pts for the Takers one!!!
_
Credits That Deserve Mad Credits
_
The 1st Annual
Greta Grrr Wig
Recipient of
The OK, This Joke/Career
Muss Be Stopped
Now Award
_
The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
He Didn’t Like
Guy of The Year
Liam Neeson with 7 movies released in 2o10!!
_
Thighopening Call To Action!
thanks to Art of The Steal for forcing us to visit the Barnes Foundation at its real home in Merion, PA before it moves and that experience will never exist again and we’ll be even more super mad pissed than we are now!!
next up is getting laid in
the Blue Valentine future space sex room
_
Bestest Wurstest Lines of The Year
&
_
The KFC
Finger Stickin’ Goodness
Goodie Three Shoes Award
Portman & her fingers in Black Swan
+ these other hotnessies
Shannon Twins’ pole dancing in Somewhere
Anne Hathway’s endless nudity in Sex & Other Drugs [NSFW]
Rachel McAdams’s morning glorious legs & tush
& Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s many colored wigs in Scott Pilg
_
Movie Things That Aren’t Movies
That Moved Us For The 1st Time
Mr Plinkett’s Star Wars Prequels Ass-Riping
But Well Thought Out Reviews!!
+ his love of pizza rolls
which he wants to mail to us!!
lime juice on theater popcorn!!!
(had at the Film Forum)
visiting the cinema treasure that is The Loews Jersey
(what took we so long??????)
_
Bestest Flix We Netted Or Saw In A Theater
Cause Seeing Old Movies In A Theater
Is Better Than Seeing New Movies
In A Theater!!!
_
Always Bet On These Lil
Shirley Temple Black
(& White) Children
_
Face Timeless
Zhao Benshan in Woman, A Gun and A Noodle Shop
_
Saddest Sadness
& The Infinite Sadness
we knew The White Stripes’ days were numbered
as soon as we saw this
_
Songs That Execute Butter
Than Norman Mailer’s Bong
Beck’s ‘Ramona’ from Scott Pilgs
The Langley Schools Music Project’s
‘Good Vibrations’ from Catfish
Scala & Kolacny Brothers’ cover
of ‘Creep’ from TSN teaser
any Phil Spector produced song in The Agony &Â Ecstasy
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross ‘In Motion’
from The Social Network
Clint Mansell’s ‘Perfection’ from Black Swan
Mike Zorin’s score to the Inception teaser trailer
anything on the Blue Valentine sdtrk
Nick Urata’s ‘Faking Death’ from Phil Morris [empee3]
Devendra Banhart & Beck’ ‘Life During Wartime’
& LFO’s ‘Freak’ from Enter The Void
_
Unintentional Porn
To Be Wild Titles
44 Inch Chest
The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond
Faster
For Colored Girls
Furry Vengeance
Get Low
Harry Brown
How to Train Your Dragon
The Killer Inside Me
Make-Out with Violence
Rabbit Hole
The Spy Next Door
Trash Humpers
Touching Home
Unstoppable
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
_
Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award
_
Miscecallous Things That Either Stepped Up or Stepped Down More Than Step-Up 3D
a VHS tape, duct tape, a hand and
a whole lotta anger in Dogtooth
the way Leo DiCap says ‘Maaaaaaaaaaaaarssshal’
in Stutter Island
the glowing cockscapades at the sex hotel
@ the end of Enter The Void
the mousterpiece dioramas in Din for Schmucks
by the The Chiodo Brothers
finally figuring out what the dealio was withÂ
Pruitt Taylor Vince‘s eyes was was:
pathologic nystagmus
also, finally looking into what Fletch’s ‘Pup’ n’ Taco was!
photo of the real Get Low guy attending his own funeral
which is 81889283838 times more interesting
than the actual movie
this college recruiting video starring a pre-Doors Morrison
The Fighter sisters > any other sisters
James Frain being a 7th rate Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg???
the only good kind of Plague
our collection of the moist flamous kisses EVER
_
Movies To Look
For In The ‘011
127 Ray Browers
Goy Story 3:16
Liam Neeson Ices Eastern Europeans
X-Men XII: Boyz II X-Men
Ranch Farts: A Nose Opening Documentary
Stephen King’s The Queen
Madoff Never Sleeps
10 Fast, 10 Furious
_
don’t forget to peep out our
’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…