The 2014 Thighsmans
we somehow cobbled together the breastest movies of the beastest of the 2014
and now, for the only awards that matter…
hELlEVENth Anal Thighs Wide Movie Awards
aka
THE THIGHSMANS!!!
_
The Trash Humpers Biggest Piece of Humpy Trash Film of the Year!!!!!
(aka – somehow a movie with a naked ScarJo ScarBLOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Under The Skin
dishonrable trash mentions that can hump my poo
Mockinglame Part 1 / Monuments Men / Chef
_
Cheesiest Fun Stinky Cheese
of The Year
the Jerseyness of Jersey Boys
_
Most Thighnamic Duo of The Year
Jean Pierre Napoleon (Ty Burrell) &Â Sam the Eagle
in Muppets Most Wanted
_
The 5th Annual Greta Grrr Wig Recipient of The OK This Joke/Career Muss Be Stopped Now Award
it goes without saying, but…
Sucks Muckfarlame
_
The Samuel L Jackson
Never Met A Script
She Didn’t Like
Girl of The Year
Â
Wendi McLendon-Covey
who had 8 flix released in 2014!!
_Â
Gifs of the Gawds
_
Hairing Is Caring
whatever was going on with Mark Ruffalo’s balding and bearding in Foxcatcher
_
Bob’s Big Girls
aka
The Bobbies!
girls in the bobbedhood!
_
Â
The KFC Finger Stickin’ Goodness Goodie Three Shoes Award
Katherine Waterston is our vice [NSFW]
 &Â
this poster/Eva Green’s boobs
+
Val Kilmer & Joanne Whalley’s super hot son Jack
_
Eyes Wide Open For Bidness 9ever
aka Bestest Scariest Eyes
Jake Gynnhahhanahalllahal!!!!
 in Nightcrawler
_
Word I Still Can’t Pronounce
Maleficent
_
Face Timeless
this dude
from Under The Skin
 _
Juss Josh Baskin’ In These Sunny Miscellaneous Missile Missives That Are Da Bomb Shiz!
the only bitched @ swirth that matters, AGAIN!!!!!!!
ALT BTTF MCFLY SIBLING PICS!!
NAMEHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lady in the Columbia Pictures logo!!!!!!!!!
this guy painted these!!
36 Actors Hanging Out With Their Body Doubles
a more cartoony Snow White
Celluloid Paper Dolls
that time ‘Murder She Wrote’ went Psycho
meeting the new Star Wars VII cast, and what we guess will be their roles…
Ryan Gage’s Hobbit unibrow
Problem Children reunion
Goonies Never Stay Dead
Albert Finney shaves 2 become Daddy Warbucks
on the set & behind the scenes with Vivian Kubrick
Paul becoming Pee Wee
and Paging Mr Herman
+
a spoiler on a spoiler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
Songs That Execute Better Than Norman Mailer Does As A Normal Mailman
‘Big Eyes’ from the movie of the same name
+
(more like MINUS)
the song that makes me wish I didn’t have ears
_
Trailers Worth Tractoring
(in endless memory of Robert ‘Tractor’ Traylor)
Â
 The Grand Budapest Hotel / Under The Skin / The Babadook / Lucy / The Double / the faux teaser for Star Wars: Force Awakens + George Lucasfied Awakens teaserÂ
_
Poster Her! Poster We! Poster Haste!
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Unintentional Porn To Be Wild Titles
The Nut Job / Fiston / How to Train Your Dragon 2 / Mrs. Brown’s Boys D’Movie / Get On Up / Step Up: All In / Bang Bang!
_
Fenella Woolgar
Bestest Names Award
Chubby JohnsonÂ
&Â Jet JurgensmeyerÂ
& Gyp DecarloÂ
&Â Googie Withers
_
Movies To Look For In The ‘015
The Fault In Our Czars
 The Bok Choy Luck Club
14 Years A Slave
14 Fast, 14 Furious
_
In Memoriam
ROBIN FCUKING WILLIAMS :(
+
Taylor Negrone & Rod Taylor &Â La Dolce Vita fountainhead
Bacall
Luise Rainer & Ed Herrmann
Welcome to Jurassic Park
Elizabeth Peña
Mike Nichols
Bob Hoskins
the 7-Up guy
Maya & Giger & Gordon Willis
Tuco & Ruby Dee & Paul Mazursky & the dude from Raiders with the scimitar
Kiel!! Kiel!!! Kiel!!!!
+
Jan
&
Dim
&Â
THE ANCIENT BOOER!!!!
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don’t forget to peep out our ’13, ’12, ’11, ’10, ’09, ’08, ’07, ’06, ’05, ’04, ’03, and ’02 awards!!Â
if you got this far, pat yourself on the back, then yer balls
until next thyme the balcony is clothed…