These People Were Born
1894 – shoe banging commie, Nikita Khrush”Control”chev
1897 – Mike Seaver starred in the stage version of Thornton “Mellon” Wilder’s Our Town
1918 – bridge destroyer, William “know when to” Holden
1938 – Richard “somehow I got to direct Return of the Jedi Marquand
1947 – Ian “The Emperor” McDiarmid
1948 – Miami Vice theme-maker, Jan “Arm &” Hammer
1954 – best wrestler ever next to Junkyard Dog, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
1957 – author whose books make cheesy movies, Nick Hornb”all”y
1959 – Boromir, shmoromir, Sean “My Name Doesn’t Rhyme” Bean
1961 – footballer and all around dumb-ass, “Baby” Boomer Esiason
1963 – brother of Bill, Joel “One Crazy Summer” Murray
1967 – songstress with the lyric, “I'll fuck you 'til your dick is blue”, Liz “Play” Phair
1970 – the forgotten bad guy from a Mega Man game, Redman
1972 – Jennifer “14 going on 15 minutes of fame” Garner
1974 – Posh Spice, Victoria “I hate sex messaging” Beckham
Two can play that game Becks!
Here's a photo of Posh's text messaging buddy.
And This Shit Happened
1492 - Spain and Christopher Columbus sign a contract for him to sail to Asia to get (11 herbs and) spices, so they could open their own KFC franchise.
1524 - Giovanni da Verrazano reaches New York harbor. He didn’t have his
EZ Pass on him so he had to fork over $8 bones.
1924 - Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studios is formed. 80 years later they release
Agent Cody Banks 2 and almost have to close their doors for good.
1964 - Ford Motor Company unveils the Mustang car. American drivers can now look as cool as Europeans, but not really.
1975 - Cambodia falls to the Khmer Rouge. Boobies still a flappin at the Moulin Rouge.
The real reason
behind Columbus' journey.
