Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Thursday, December 27

Lending A Hand Job

Charlie Wilson' War
Making An Afghanistand
Trailers & Mo


The tale of how former House Rep Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks back in fun mode), Texas socialite Joanne Herring (the always annoying Julia Roberts) and CIA Agent Gust Avrakotos (P.S. Hoffman who is the very definition of a best supporting actor) orchestrated the 'largest covert operation in history' during the Soviet war in Afghanistan is so beyond extraordinary that one could easily believe the whole thing was drummed up by Dustin Hoffman's uber-producer character from Wag The Dog. And by the way the movie based on that very true story zips right along, with typical Aaron Sorkin talky flair and cruise-control direction by Mike Nichols, one could still buy into the notion that it's all fictional. Fo reals or fo reels, it don't matter, cause Charlie Wilson's War works well enuff as an entertaining political flick that doesn't hit you over the head with its message. The same can't be said of a bunch of other flicks released this fall that all fizzled at the box office. Who knew that the Cold War could be such a hot genre? Here's hoping the next war that gets the cinematic greenlight is the Cola one!

Cowpoking This Cowgirl: War is loaded with hotties, including Charlie's 4 angelsz, but how bout that belly-dancer, eh? Well that jazzlin lil girl is nun other than Dallas Cowboy coach Wade Phillips's own lil girl Tracy, whom we told u bout during our NFC pee view back in Zeptember


John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers


The Savages
Old Age Moan
Trailers & Mo


Sorry folks, this isn't the long awaited biopic about brothers Ben and Fred that you've been anxiously waitin all dem wondrous years for. What it is is a sweet and dreary lil story about a brother and sister (independent film's reigning king and queen, PSH again, and Laura Linney) forced back into the life of their neglectful father (Philip Bosco, handing in some Oscar-worthy work) after he smears poo on a wall and has nowhere to call home. They have to find him a home and shuttling their dementia-ridden patriarch between hospitals and nursing homes is the name of the game for this dramedy. The laffs here are well needed to balance the sad parts, although the film coulda been more memorable had dem parts been a wee weepier. The Savages is writer/director Tamara Jenkins's follow-up to her delicious Slums of Beverly Hills... a movie released almost a decade ago. Lettuce hope she doesn't take another Terrence Malick-like sabbatical before making her next delightful triffle

Savage Beasts: speaking of Ben and Fred, the two have appeared together three times, once on each other's hit shows disrespectively and on the big screen in the shit movie Little Monsters

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers


The Orphanage (El Orfanato)
Some Children Left Behind
Trailers & Mo


If you've seen The Others then you really have no reason to see The Orphanage. Everything's purty darn similar, from the film's titles, to the big olde creaky house, to the worrisome mother looking after her odd child, and even down to the solid production values. The only big differences are the spoken language and the nagging fact, besides a few doors slammed, that The Orphanage isn't that scary. Don't know what it's trying to be, but if it's aiming for something else, it aint working, juss jerking. Shame too, cause that kid with the fubared potato sack mask had the potential to be the biggest and baddest boogeyman since Leatherface sliced it up in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. This film was presented by Guillermo del Toro. Maybe it shoulda been directed by him too

A Mother From Another Others?: oddly enuff, Belén Rueda, who plays the worrisome mother, co-starred in Others director Alejandro Amenábar's Mar Adentro (The Sea Inside), aka our #1 flick of 2004

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinkin Badges

The Orphanage opens tomorrow in limited theaters

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...


# Lending A Hand Job