Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, April 24

Foreign Core Despondent

Il Divo
Poli(Fantas)tics!
Trailers & Mo | Official Website



'You're either the most cunning criminal in the country because you never got caught, or you're the most persecuted man in the history of Italy.' This quote came from a journalist who was interviewing Giulio Andreotti, one of the mos infamous, mysterious and polarizing Italian political figures of the past half century. Andreotti was a seven-time Prime Minister, and has also served the role of minister for numerous departments within the Italian government over the past 5 decades. He has forever been linked with the Mafia, murders, obstruction of justice and purty much anything else you can think of when it comes to corruption in politics. He makes Rod Blagojevich look about as criminal as Rod Strickland Serling rocking out to Jacko's 'Smooth Criminal', and unlike Blago, Andreotti's been prosecuted, but has never been convicted of any crime or removed from office, as he still serves his country to this day. Writer/director Paolo Sorrentino takes us on the biopic route, focusing on the events of his life and country starting in 1991, when the heat on him began to simmer like hell. Il Divo's results are perhaps the bestestiest Italian-infused flick we've seen since Goodfellas. That aint no lie, so eat it Gomorrah, and all that overripe overhype you gotz! But you don't have to take our word for it, as the film placed 3rd at last year's Cannes, an honor bestowed in the past to the likes of All About Eve, Z and Persepolis

We knew were were watching something rather special as we couldn't stop from smiling as the creative multi-dimensional opening credits rolled, while numerous politicians, journalists and other people standing in the way were getting plugged one after the other. It only got better and butter from there, beginning with those bangs and continuing with even more bangs! The 110 minute flick flew by with ease, and as the information came a flying, it was hard to keep up with all the rapid fire subtitle reading, while at the same time trying to comprehend all the pieces to the puzzle that is Andreotti. That aint no complaint eversowhat, as we're eager to see it a second time for a clearer understanding of the people, places and things. Yep, it's that good folks, even if you'll be lost at times like a Jew watching The Passion of The The The Christ (we had no idea what the fork was going on, besides all that cross stuff). Toni Servillo (also seen in Gomorrah) walks many a kilometer in Andreotti's shoes, and is so convincing as the cold and calculating politician that we end up rooting for him to beat any and all raps brought upon him. Thanks to some stupendous hair and make up work (it's rare we make mention of such a thing, so props de leon to you Aldo Signoretti, Marco Perna and Vittorio Sodano), Tony! Toni! Toné! disappears into the role, looking like a cross between Peter Bogdanovich and Frankenberry. If this film were to be more widely distributed and received the kinda year end love and attention that most American biopics get (Frost/Nixon, Ray, Capote, et al), Servillo would be a shoo-in for a Best Actor nom. Anything less would be criminal

¡Tre Amici!: Andreotti, Sinatra, Nixon, for one night only!



Verdictgo: Breast In Show

Il Divo opens only in NY today, but should open everywhere if we controlled the universe like Andy Richter

Rental Round-Up Dawg:



Bet you don't remember what flick took home the coveted #1 slot in 2008's Thighs Wide Movie Awards, cause you probably never heard of it and probably cause said 'it' never came to a theater near Jews last year. We aint giving hints here, cause none are needed you witdim, and so w/o further Freddy Adu lettuce reintroduce you to Stranded: I Have Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains [avails on DVD only], what we called an 'unbelievable (seriously, it's truly not believable what happened to these peoples) and beyond captivating doc that tells this ultimate tale of survival from the actual survivors themselves'. Breast enjoyed for those who never saw Alive, but regardless, Stranded is a muss muss muss sea for anyone who has eyeballs and ears. Even if you don't have ears, you should still czech it out since the interviewees speak in their native tongue and thus, titles are subbed. The DVD includes an also muss watch 52 minute featurette, including unused interviews + hammazin footage of the survivors on the set talking to the actors recreating their horrible ordeal. Until we watched that 'ette, we hadn't a clue that the snowy Andes reenactments were hactually filmed on sand! So does that make 'desert for mountains' the new 'day for night'?

The Wrestler is to Mickey Rourke as JCVD [Blu Ray | DVD] is to Jean-Claude Van Damme. Instead of delving into retread territory like Sylvester Stallone has lately, J-C VD cashes in big time with a self-reflexive film (then again, J-C VD didn't have any characters like Rocky or Rambo worth reviving, but that's not stopping a 3rd Universal Solider flick). Critics loved it, as it turned out to be the mos positively reviewed film of his life. JVCD is one giant pot shot on his career and how the pride of Belgium has fallen from Hollywood's grace. Sure, it kinda runs long at just over an hour and a half, but it's a heckuva lotta fun and sirprizngly, often hilarious (gawd bless the John Woo jokes). Think of it as a European Tropic Thunder, w/o any of the pointless Tom Cruise fatsuit cameos. We gotta kick outta this double impact maximum risk of this oh so hard target, so don't be all cyborg and watch this street fighter get all human

both films hit up Netflix/stores/whores next Tuesday


and until next thyme the balcony is clothed...



# Foreign Core Despondent