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Monday, June 15
FCC You Later
Analog TV Transmission
1928 - 2009lettuce take a qwik and incomplete revisionist look back at the moist tube-ular moments in analog jammin (not including when the Six Million Dollar Man battled Sasquatch... who was played by André the Giant!) July 2nd, 1928
station W3XK in Wheaton, MD
emits the US's first broadcast:
a 10 second porn
October 22nd, 1939
John Madden becomes the first color analyst
of a black & white football game
as the Brooklyn 'Football' Dodgers beat
the Philadelphia Eagles 23-14
but the end of the game is cut off
by the TV movie Heidi
July 1st, 1941
'America runs on Bulova time'
becomes the 1st (legal) TV ad to air
but if America had a choice
it woulda chosen the Jhoon Rhee one
November 5th, 1955
Caroline In The City falls for Calvin Klein
who's mad pissed cause
another Honeymooners rerun is on
[big ups to the massive BTTF timeline
all dough that ep actually aired on 12/31]
August 28th, 1963
MLK has a wet dream, or something
November 24th, 1963
The Lee Harvey Oswald Experience debuts
they kill it, but their tour abruptly ends
February 9th, 1964
The Beatles refuse Ed Sullivan's request
to change the title of their hit
'I Want To Hold Your Hand'
to 'I Want You To Hold My Cock'
July 20th, 1969
Man lands on the moon
and Walter Cronkite becomes a lunartic
the film 2001 still doesn't make any sense
sometime in 1969
Elvis' installs 3 TVs into his
Taking Care of Business room at Graceland
so he could simultaneously watch
C-SPAN, BET and C-SPAN 2
NBC, ABC and CBS
that's even mo genius than
a PB, Banana & Bacon sangwich!
January 3rd, 1972
WGBH logo rox its own electric boogaloo
and turns out to be the bestest of balls thyme
April 2nd, 1974
Robert Opel breaks Cal Ripken's streaking record
at the 46th Academy Awards and prompts
David Niven to make the best use
of the word 'cummings' since ee
April 8th, 1974
two white guys chase
a black guy who juss finished chasing a white guy
September 17, 1978
"Bitching About Stuff with Andy Rooney"
becomes a regular segment of 60 Minutes
(we hope CBS freezes him for future generations)
November 17, 1978
George Lucas rapes peoples' eyes and ears
with his The Star Wars Holiday Special
it turned out to be more of an abortion
than Maude's abortion
November 18th, 1978
drinking Kool-Aid is no longer considered kool or aidful
December 28th, 1984
wrestler David Schultz pummels John Stossel
cause his mustache is so sexy
and he wants a ride
(who doesn't?)
July 1st, 1985
Dire Strait's creepy animated music video
for 'Money For Nothing' first airs
everyone wants their MTV
and now, no one wants their MTV
January 28th, 1986
America's heart explodes
tasteless jokes ensue
we laff at these tasteless jokes
and then say, 'that's not funny'
was 'too soon?' invented on this day?
June 5th, 1989
Tank Man gets in the wrong line
for the Beijing premiere of Tank Girl
at the Tiananmen Square Megaplex 18
January 18th, 1990
Marion Barry allows a bitch to set him up for the last time
becomes the butt of many jokes cracked
[sorry, couldn't find the video]
April 8th, 1990
Twin Peaks pilot scares the crap outta everyone
even more so than the WGBH logo
TV has never been this good, and never will be again
October 3th, 1992
Sinbad O'Connor rips ass & attempts to distract the audience
by ripping a photo of The Pope
June 15th, 1995
OJ replaces Dan Marino as
the spokesperson for Isotoner Gloves
September 11th, 2001
awfulnessss+ 100 Most Memorable TV Moments, according to TV Guide/LandTelevision History - The First 75 Yearsa U. S. Television Chronology, 1875-1970Popular Mechanics articles about TV from 1928 & 1929timeline of the introduction of television in countriesPhotos: A Fond Farewell to Analog Televisionrabbit ears aren't history10 technological facts of TVlong live Remote Control!& who watches the Watchman? hat tip to markkrugman for the inspiration, sorta 
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