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Monday, September 28
Pandorum
PanBORDEM
Trailers & Mo | Official Website
We love films. We also love movies. Ideally, every film or movie we see should end up being the breastest ever, but it never works out that way. We were away in Detroit this past weekend and had a coupla hours to kill on Saturday in between overeating, gambling and looking at art (pics to cum!). There aren't a lot of cinehouses in the downtown area, so the one we went to, The Ren Cen 4, will now and forever be our litmus test for knowing what currently playing movies are truly awful. Our choices were Fame, Jennifer's Body, I Can Do Bad All By Myself and Pandorum. My personal vote was for none of them, second choice was hanging myself with yer dad's cock, third was Fame, and fourth being Jennifer's Body, although don't know if my ears have healed yet from the last time them encountered Diablo Cody's dialog. Somehow me was vetoed and Pandorum ended up being the pick. Even though watching our belovededed Washington Redskins give the Lions their first win since the winter of 2007 was worser than a back alley abortion covered in microwaved tunafish juice, thrice covered in homeless man's urine and poop smell, it still wasn't as unbearable as Pandorum was. It was so unwatchable that we actually stopped watching about 40 minutes in, and did something we'd NEVER do while sitting in a movie theater (and you too should never do this either, you annoying f%cks that do do it): turn on our thighphone and start dicking around with it. Wasn't a total loss, as we made good use of the time and sifted thru our backlog of Google News Alerts and eBay Saved Searches (although we didn't end up bidding on this Amblin Entertainment jacket). Congratulations Sherman's Way, you've officially been replaced as the biggest big screen misadventure to insult every part of our body in 2009!
Everyone's A Critic: not only is the Ren Cen 4 the Ark of the Covenant when it comes to currently playing Repoopulousnessness, but it's staff is well trained in the fine art of movie comparisons
Verdictgo: Slit Yer Eyes Out Repoopulous
Pandorum is currently something claiming to be a 'movie' playing at a theater near jews
and until next thyme the balcony is clothed...
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