Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Friday, October 26

Hell & Heller

Before The Devil Knows Your Dead
All In The Family Plot
Trailers & Mo


12 Angry Men, Fail Safe, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon and Network. That is da short list of udderly franztastic Sidney Lumet films. Some feel that the 83 year old filmmaker's latest, Before The Devil Knows Your Dead, deserves a spot right next to em. While I believe it's too early to make such claims as that, I will say that this is easily one of the year's best films. I mean, where else are you going to find Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke and the great great great great great great great Albert Finney giving it their all with a fabulous story to tie it together? And that story, YEAH BABY!!!! Hoffman and Hawke play two brothers strapped for cash who decide to knock off a mom & pop jewelry store... that happens to be their mom and pop's jewelry store! Of course nothing goes right and the rest is pure cinematic magic. Along for the ride are some solid supporters, like Aunt May Parker, that awesome Irish dude, that awesome dude who aint Irish, scary German Guy and Marisa Tomei, who finally gives us some non-body double NSFW love that I'm sure will be A-B repeated JO matz for decades to come (pun intended). What more could one ask for? How about 21381283 mo flicks with Marisa Tomei non-body double NSFW love that I'm sure will be A-B repeated JO matz for decades to come (pun not intended)

IMHO: Sindey's breastest work of dem all? His daughter Jenny and her redonkeydonk bazingies!!!

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Breast In Show


Bella
Don't LeGoSee This
Trailers & Mo


The Italian word 'bella' means 'beautiful', and the Mexican film of the same name attempts the same translation with audiences, but it ends up quite snoozeiful. Oy yoy yoy yoy yoy to the Jenna von Oyth degree! I dunno what rock of crack the people were smoking at the '006 TIFF when they gave it their Choice Award, but it mussa been some purty darn good shiz cause this schmaltz fest aint even worthy of a 4am showing on the Hallmark Movie Channel. The MPAA should change the rating from PG-13 to NC-117 so no one will have to watch this. The only eggception should be for insomniacs lookin for some Rip Van Winkle type zzzzzzzzzs

Dirty Landry: the only thang bella goings on here is hottie Ali Landry, who happens to be the wife of director Alejandro Gomez Monteverde. Can't figure out if that's an upgrade or not from her former hubby, Mario Lopez

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Slit Yer Thighs & Eyes Out Repoopulouzzzz

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...

The CamPAIN Trail '04

two things that scare me more than
Sarah Jessica Parker's face:

John Kerry & a football



























not related:

they speak English in England?
That's news to Dolphins LB Channing Crowder!

Thursday, October 25

Post-Bicentennial Men

Jimmy Carter Man From Plains
Not To Be Confused With Ali G The Man From Staines
Trailer


Although he left the Oval Office in 1981, Jimmy Carter has never stopped working for peace, love and understanding. Who woulda thunk that a simple peanut farmer from Georgia could help shape our world into a better place, and continue to do so as an octogenarian. He's actually done more good for this earth as an ex-President than the yahoo currently residing at Penn Ave. With a lifetime of great achievements and of course, the failures that come with em, it's hard to imagine that a documentary solely focusing on this fascinating elder statesman hadn't been dones up properly since he first took office

While not exactly the cup of tea of toasting times past I was trying to orders up here, Jimmy Carter The Man From Plains is still a solid examination of the man's life as it is today. Director Jonathan Demme (the dude behind the camera for Married To The Mob Silence of The Lambs) completely bypasses the usual A to Z biography details and instead spends most of his and our time tailing Carter as he visits media outlets across the country promoting and defending his hot button book with an even hotter buttoned title, Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid. The book may have intentionally stirred up controversy, but at least it's bringing much needed attention to the issue at hand. The doc works similar magic, with the focus on our out of control media coverage, but at least it's bringing much needed attention to a man who is as far from plain/Plaines as possible

What's Up Doc?: now that a doc's in the can, I hope someone decides to make a fictional flick about President Jimmy Carter and the 'killer rabbit'

IMDb Sweeney: JC got props in the credits of the original Longest Yard

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Jeepers Worth A Peepers


Mr. Untouchable
A Not So Noble Barnes
Trailer


Leroy 'Nicky' Barnes was the 'untouchable' NYC king of heroin in the 70s, who finally got touched, went to jail, sat there, then turned in his former associates, and became a free man. If you want to learn anything else beyond that one sentence, look somewhere else, cause this doc is more empty than Camden Yards in October. I can sympathize with director Marc Levin for not having any footage to work with, as dealing drugs isn't the mos videogenic thang goings, but watching the same 5 photos being zoomed in and out on doesn't make the time fly, no matter how much 'Superfly' you pump into the soundtrack. While the interviewees are colorful, they don't really inject any insight, juss props and disses. That leaves Barnes to poorly tell the entire story, in the shadows as a witness in da relocation program. I surely wish it was the director who got relocated, and forced to come up with a sequel to his ghettotastic Whiteboyz

Show Us The Money: one of the associates that Nicky turned in was Frank Lucas. His story is the basis for Ridley Scott's American Gangster, in which Nicky is portrayed by Mr Daddy Day Camp, Cuba Gooding Jr

John Grisham's Jizzum (aka Verdict): Sum Merit But No Stinking Badges


Jimmy Carter & Mr. U both open in select theaters this Friday

until next thyme the balcony is clothed...

Wednesday, October 24

Huey Lewis & All The News That's Fit To Print

the world's wurstest Sam Cassell interview


[FanHouse]

& for shiz and gaggles:

My Bironas [Mustrard]

Shuler Still Playing Bad Football In DC [The Great Geffo]

Batting Third, Charlie Wattsizname

They Got The Big Mac,
I Got The Big Mick

how come no one ever told me that...

a) Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen were once married
(they met on the set of Time After Time)

& b) had two adorable growns-ups kids in da bidness:
Charlie & Lilly


[CelebWonder]

Cleo McDowell: Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.

McDowell's was actually a Wendy's
+ all other Coming To America filming locations


Samuel Jackson's role as the Hold-Up Man
was only his 9th outta 108 credited roles

other McRips offs: Anisha's, McCoffee, McChina Wok Away, McMunchies, McAllan, McCurry , and McSleep, which shouldn't be confused with Maccy D's first and only hotel in Switzerland, The Golden Arch Hotel, which is now no longer golden [a bunch from McD's Legal cases on Wiki]

Tuesday, October 23

Falling To Peaces

Forks Out
to

Joseph
Abraham
Gottlieb
Bishop


1918 - 2007

Deborah
Jane
Kerr-Trimmer


1921 - 2007

Theresa
'Teresa
Brewer'
Breuer


1931 - 2007

Vincent
DeDomenico


1915 - 2007

William
Max
McGee


1932 - 2007

Thomas
Anthony
Ryan


1926 - 2007

Werner
von Trapp


1915 - 2007

Shirley
'Carol
Bruce'
Levy


1919 - 2007

George
Grizzard


1928 - 2007

Martin
Manulis


1931 - 2007

Admiral
William
James
Crowe, Jr.


1925 - 2007

USAF Major General
John
Philip
'Jock'
Henebry


1918 - 2007

Edward
'Ned'
George
Sherrin


1931 - 2007

Oswald
Mathias
Ungers


1926 - 2007

Kisho
Kurokawa


1934 - 2007

Rogelio
Salmona


1929 - 2007

Bud
Ekins


1930 - 2007

James
W
Michaels


1921 - 2007

Gary
Franklin


1928 - 2007

Alfred
Russell


1920 - 2007

Stanley
Paul
Butchart


1922 - 2007

James
O
Robbins


1942 - 2007

Thurman
Arnold
Fogarty


1926 - 2007

Harry
'Enrico'
Banducci


1922 - 2007

Richard
Alton
Graham


1920 - 2007

Alec
Christopher
Kessler


1967 - 2007

David
Hans
Schmidt


1960 - 2007

&

Viva
Laughlin


2007 - 2007

Monday, October 22

You're Like School
During The Summer


[WTF, inc.]

Pushing Daisies hottie Anna Friel pushes up penises with these NSFW topless sunbathing pics

the rebirth of drool: 2nd Ave Deli

Daft Punk - Live @ Keyspan Park Brooklyn, N.Y.C, USA - August 9th, 2007

Norman Chad's 23 tried and true facts about the widening world of sports television

Nic Cage's next movie, The Wicker Rider

Chewbacca delivers NASA some goodies

Hello Kitty AK-47 [Länkarkiv]

mutatocollection

Tantric Priestess of Second Temple [vintage NSFW]

Sunday, October 21

Khosh Keldiniz
To Our Whirled

¡The Girl
With No
Name!

newly minted daughter
of
'No Man Is An'
Isla Fisher
& Sacha Baron Cohen

we had our top artist mock up
what she'd look like at around age 30...



previously in this whirl
Ashby Grace Zubchevich
& Scarlett Teresa White