Thighs Wide Shut

Daughtry
Robin Thicke
Rascal Flatts
Young Jeezy
Gym Class Heroes
etc
conflatulations
yous achievemints this past year
were not good enuff to fancy our tickles
like don rickles
why?
cause frankly my lloyd wright
we don’t give a ham
we eat one!

Les Breastest Albums
of 2007
To Hug Denim In Closets To

(Why Quit Smoking… Cock? Edition)

1) The Good, The Bad & The Queen
The Good, The Bad & The Queen

2) The Chemical Brothers – We Are The Night
3) Jarvis Cocker – Jarvis

4) Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová – Once Original Soundtrack
5) KT Tunstall – Drastic Fantastic

6) Peter Bjorn and John – Writer’s Block
7) Air – Pocket Symphony
8) Just Jack – Overtones

9) Amy Winehouse – Back To Black
10) Travis – The Boy with No Name
11) Mark Ronson – Version

12) Eddie Vedder – Music for the Motion Picture Into the Wild
13) The White Stripes – Icky Thump
14) Timbaland – Shock Value

+ these bonus boners…

Bestest 2005 Album Released In 2007: Junior Senior
Hey Hey My My Yo Yo

Bestest 2006 Guilty Pleasure In 2007: Slumber Party Girls

Bestest Live Album: Daft Punk – Alive 2007

Concerts That Were More
Procerts Than Concerts

Justin Tmberlake @ MSG – Feb 7
Jill Cunniff @ Merc Lounge – Mar 11
The Good, The Bad & The Queen @ Webster Hall – Mar 12
Amy Winehouse @ Bowery Ballroom – Mar 13
Art Garfunkel AND Sean Lennon
@ Lincoln Center/Irving Plaza – Apr 13
Jarvis Cocker @ Webster Hall – Apr 23rd
Donovan @ Canal Room – May 2nd
Peter Bjorn & John @ Webster Hall – May 1st
Air @ Theater at MSG – May 10th
Daniel Johnston @ Highline Ballroom – May 17th
Roger Waters @ Continental Airlines Arena – May 24th
Keane @ Rumsey Playfield – May 30
Travis @ Irving Plaza – Jul 15th
The White Stripes @ MSG – Jul 24th
Just Jack @ Hiro Ballroom – Jul 31st
Daft Punk @ Keyspan Park – Aug 10th
Squeeze @ Beacon Theatre – Aug 3rd
The Police @ Giants Stadium – Aug 5th
Junior Senior @ Highline Ballroom – Aug 13th
The Chemical Brothers/Ladytron @ McCarren Pool – Aug 22nd
The Hives @ Webster Hall – Oct 9th
Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová @ Beacon Theatre – Nov 19th

Tuneses For Toonces

we really need to listen to more music
there’s juss never enuff time in a day

‘A Modern Midnight Conversation’ – The Chem Bros [d]
‘Amsterdam’ – Peter Bjorn & John
anything by Andy Bernard
‘Battleships’ – Travis
‘Disney Time’ – Jarvis Cocker [d]
‘Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time’ – Jarvis Cocker
‘Ex-Guru’ – The Fiery Furnaces [d]
‘Eyes Wide Open’ – Travis [d]
‘Falling Slowly’ – Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová [d]
‘Gimme More’ – Britney Spears
‘God Put a Smile Upon Your Face’ – Mark Ronson
feat The Dapking Horns
‘Guaranteed’ – Eddie Vedder
‘Happy Warriors’ – Jill Cuniff
‘Headphone Song’ – Junior Senior
‘Hell of A Party’ – Air feat Jarvis Cocker [d]
‘Herculean’ – TGTBTQ [d]
‘Hold On’ – KT Tunstall
‘Kingdom of Doom’ – TGTBTQ [d]
‘Lies’ – Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová
‘Mer du Japon’ – Air
‘Nature Springs’ – TGTBTQ
‘North American Scum’ – LCD Soundsystem
‘Pop Goes My Heart’ – Pop [d]
‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn’ – The White Stripes [d]
‘Saturate’ – The Chem Bros
‘Somewhere Between Waking And Sleeping’ – Air feat Neil Hannon
‘Starz In Their Eyes’ – Just Jack [d]
‘Stop Bombin Roscommon’ – The Kemicks [d]
‘Stop Me’ – Mark Ronson feat Daniel Merriweather
‘Stronger’ – Kayne West
‘Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger’ – Daft Punk
‘The Songs We Sing’ – Charlotte Gainsbourg [d]
‘The Way I Are’ – Timbaland feat Keri Hilson & D.O.E.
‘Throw It On Me’ – Timbaland feat Hives
‘Tick Tick Boom’ – Hives
‘Umbrella’ – Rihanna
‘We Are The Night’ – The Chem Bros
‘You Know I’m No Good’ – Amy Winehouse
‘Young Folks’ – Peter Bjorn & John

looking for more [d]s?
we’re sure you interweb savy folks
can finger it out fo yoselfsz

don’t look back in hangers

i heard you say
’06
’05
’04
’03

Jenni Pulos‘s part in Flipping Out

tonight will be played by
Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Madeleine Martin‘s part in Californication

tonight will be played by
Meg White

Johnny V‘s part in Scott Baio Is 45… and Single

tonight will be played by
Not Another Teen Movie‘s Ricky Lipman

Heidi Montag‘s part in The Hills

tonight will be played by
Fahrenheit 451‘s Montag

Anna Faris‘ part in Entourage

tonight will be played by
those 80s Twizzler lips

The White Stripes
Madison Square Garden
July 24th

There’s nuttin quite like waking up with Folger’s in your cup the day after a seeing a phenom show, head pounding, ears ringing, and mouth and ass burping and farting the rankest of ranks. While that last duo can be thanked in part to the robert downing jring of a sack of White Castles, the other were the direct result of the major rawkin that Meg and her ‘lil brother’ Jack put on at MSG last nite. Hell, tis be the second greatest show I’ve seen by a duo there mt EVERest and mt suribachi! The first? Simon & Garfunkel’s we need sum sick cash reunion back in the ’03 (pre-Thighs Wide era), which also happens to be the greatestistest show I’ve ever seen. While I haven’t seen many other duos at the Garden, it’s still a feat when two albino-skinned Detroiters can bring an arena of 20,000 to its feet from the get-go to the get the hell outta the building thyme. And while mos bands who play ‘the world’s most famous arena’ fill our eyeballs up with endless Zoo-TV imagery, the ‘sibling’ Whites kept the focus on them, with no gimmicketry at all… unless you count the giant silhouettes bein cast behind them of Meg’s boobs bouncing (Hmmmmm, shadow boobs!). Although I wish they played for 3 hours, I’m happy they were able to squeeze in what they did in 2. The new material sounded mos thumcredible, but I muss say, my heart almost decided to stop after Jack picked up the mandolin and played ‘Little Ghost’ instead of ‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn’. Damn, damn. Guess I’ll have to see em again!

Set Lisp

Dead Leaves On The Dirty Ground
When I Hear My Name
Jolene
Hotel Yorba
Cannon -> John The Revelator
Icky Thump
Do
Death Letter
In The Cold, Cold Night
A Martyr for My Love for You
I’m Slowly Turning Into You
Think I Smell A Rat -> Wasting My Time
300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues
You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As Your Told)
Fell In Love With A Girl -> Ball & Biscuit
Blue Orchid
I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself
Little Ghost
We’re Going To Be Friends
Little Bird -> Catch Hell Blues
My Doorbell
Seven Nation Army
Boll Weevil

[accordin to PradaShop]

White Stripes – Icky Thump: every time they release an album, it’s an event onto itself. And for good reason, cause with each new release, they make their previous album sound like yesterday’s news. Every track here is bona fide bestness, hispecially, ‘Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn‘ [d] , aka the mos stompiniest song since Zep’s ‘Bron-Y-Aur Stomp‘ [d]

Various Artists- Summer Of Love: Hits Of 1967: It was 40 years ago today… that a lotta smelly hippies headed to San Fran to eat crappy veggie food and drop out on bad brown acid. Whether you were there gettin experienced or not, Time/Life has assembled this thumcredible 38 song boxed treat (+ a bonus DVD) that captures the sweet sweet sounds of that summer. Although Jimi, The Beatles, The Doors, and a bunch of other luminaries were left out, you’ll be too turned on tuning in to some of the bestest music ever created to even care. So, for all those going to ‘San Francisco (Be Sure Too Wear Flowers In Your Hair)‘ [d]

Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová – Once Original Soundtrack: Great movies usually give way to great soundtracks, although lousy films also do the same (Judgment Night anyone?). But an eggstreme rarity is when the soundtrack IS the movie. And no film embodies this equation more than the sdtrk to Once [TWS.org review]. You may fall hard for these tunes, but we recommend that you ‘Falling Slowly‘ [d]

Mark Ronson & Friends – Version: remember that hot arsed Lily Allen cover of the Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Oh My Gawd‘ [QT stream]? Well that shiz was juss an appetizer for Mark Ronson’s full-scale project of cover Versions. Pretty simple, and simply AWEsome. Not all of them are gems, but Robbie Williams’ take on The Charlatans ‘The Only One I Know’ is trezzz many feeq!!

Elton John – Rocket Man: Number Ones: for those not too crazy about all the fluff that comes with a double-disc greatest hits package, this stacked 17-song collection is all certified hits. They have to be, or the packaging would be lying! Outrageous outfits while listening are optional

The Slumber Party Girls – Dance Revolution: Had I been tipped to the Saturday AM bestness that is CBS’ Dance Revolution back in the fall of ’06, this crapolicious sugary pop album woulda been a shoo-in for Top 5 albums of that year. Alas, we were late to the party, but that doesn’t mean that the revolution is over. As show host DJ Rick would say, this shiz is ‘off the couch!’ Go on and ‘Make A Wish‘ [d] and all your dreams will cum true

Fujiya & Miyagi

‘Ankle Injuries’

vs

The White Stripes

‘Fell In Love With A Girl’

•
for bonus fun, play them both simultaneously and watch your head hexplode in the process!