Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Sunday, March 14

Elvis' Heir "Seeing Things"

According to Lisa Marie Presley, while living at The Neverland Children Happy Place with Michael "Cracko" Jackson, she was "part of a machine" and was "seeing things", "but just stuff." Can you be a bit more vague Lisa?

Meanwhile, the Magi Society looked into their crystal ballz and foresaw that Lisa Marie and Nic Cage should never have been married.

It would it have been so much cooler if Elvis had sired a son instead of a daughter. Think about it. It's not like Elvis' son would have married Courtney Love or some dumb shit like that.