Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Saturday, March 27

Qwik Bitz

Watching this streaker in a tutu for 5 minutes has got to be more eggciting than the entire 102 minutes of the Robert Altman/Neve Campbell snoozfest about the Joffrey Ballet known as The Company.
- Jan Berry, the "Jan" in the surf-rock duo Jan & Dean, died Friday night at the age of 62. Don't think you know any of Jan & Dean's tunes? Their hit songs were "Little Old Lady of Pasadena" and "Surf City", but you probably thought those were both Beach Boys songs... I did! No word on whether Dean will carry on without Jan or not. If only he could find a "James", a "Jimmy" or a "Stockwell." Then he could lose the "and" become James Dean, Jimmy Dean and the Sausage Experience, or Dean Stockwell & The Furious Five.

- A Shiite (one the funniest words that's not supposed to be) Clergyman has urged all of Kuwait to see Mel Gibson's latest comedy, The Passion of the Christ. The reason? It makes Jews look bad. That Clergyman must be so relieved that the other Mel (Brooks) never released History of the World: Part II cause I don't think he could stomach the whole Jews In Space sequence. Holy shiite!!!

- A streaker snuck onto the ice at the World Figure Skating Championships in Germany right before Olympic bust Michelle Kwan was about skate. Kwan was quoted as saying, "I was stroking around and I saw him. I knew he was a streaker." I don't know if "stroking" is an ice skating term or not, but I think she was kinda hot and bothered by the whole ordeal and was "stroking" her heart shaped box.

- Finally, Disney must really be hurting for a hit. Although they parted ways (not by their choice) with Pixar AniMONEY Studios, they still maintain the rights to Toy Story and are "banking" on making it three times a charm. Once the Mouse House exhausts that franchise, I wouldn't be sir prized if they ask Don Knotts and Tim Conway to saddle up for The Apple Dumpling Gang vs. Predator.