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Monday, May 3
Being in control of Mike's blog has sure taught me a few things:
- Keeping a professional looking blog takes a lot of work! A lot of work that I am not willing to do.
- Because it takes so much work, perhaps Mike really does need to cock blog me on occasion. After all, the New York Times does not stop the presses just because I want to snuggle. They should, but they don't.
- I am not angry enough at Mike to put his sausages in my bum. I still put them up there, but I only did it because it felt so right.
- Sausages feel great in your bum!
- When you buy Mike replacement sausages, remember that his other sausages were "Sweet" Italians, and not "Spicy" Italians.
- Do not put Mike's replacement sausages in your bum, unless you followed the above lesson. I did not, and therefore I am in severe severe pain.
- Live as if it is your last day, love as if it is your first time, dance as if there is nobody watching.
- DANCE DANCE DANCE!
- Make sure nobody is watching when you dance.
- If you plan to sell used sausages on eBay, be prepared to receive strange correspondence from perverts.
- Do not agree to meet in a bathroom in Chelsea any of the people who corresponded with you about your bum sausages.
- There are no dumb questions, only dumb questioners.
- Jesus is the way, the light, the lord of all things.
- Actually, maybe Allah is better.
- No, sticking with Jesus.
- I am not afraid to cry in front of my boss.
- Don't put cockroaches on your cock. It is false advertising.
- Mike is a racist.
- I have no "spine".
- Bleep.
- Bep.
- Peace out dizzle snizzle!
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