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Monday, June 21
1. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
- $30 million (NEW) - Apparently Ben Stiller's wife/Melody from Hey Dude is slowly building up an impressive comedic resume: The Brady Bunch Movie(s), The Wedding Singer, and now this? I may have to remove my jihad on Vince Vaughn movies and czech it out.
2. The Terminal - $18.7 million (NEW) - Senor Spielbergo, yer f-in lucky you landed two thumps up from Fatman and Closet-Gaydawg, cause I hear this movie causes terminal illness from all the Velveeta cheese oozing from the script. I mean, if yer gonna throw Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas-Omega-Phi-Slamma-Jamma into the mix, at least make her do a dance with tassels on her ta-tatties.
3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - $17.4 million ($190 million) - After my Lebowski filled weekend, I just realized that Professor Lupin is the same guy as Knox Harrington, the guy with a cleft a$$hole.
4. Shrek 2 - $13.6 million ($378 million) - What's green, messy, and isn't really funny? Shrek and a case of the green apple splatters.
5. Garfield: The Movie - $11 million ($42 million) - Jennifer Love Twotits, time to give up on the whole acting thang and start stripping for cash.
6. The Stepford Wives - $9.2 million ($39.4 million) - Nothing is sacred anymore. Expect a Gus Van Suchs shot-by-shot remake of Citizen Kane starring Casey Affleck in years to come.
7. The Chronicles of Riddick - $8.3 million ($41 million) - Me buddy Mark w/ a 'c' came up with a great project for Sir Triple X-meathead: Vin Diesel and Jim Caviezel in Van Gogh's Easel.
8. The Day After Tomorrow Never Knows - $7.5 million ($166.7 million) - Roland Emmerich directed his first film Franzmann with some dude named Oswald von Richthofen. Ossie went on to do nothing but bang chicks cause of his ultra-fly name.
9. Around the World In 80 Days- $6.8 million ($9 million) - With such a strong start as the at the box office on its first weekend, they should have no problem recouping the $110 million they spent on it. Could this be one of the biggest failures that I will probably never see since Wild Wild West?
10. Troy $1.7 million ($128.9 million) - I can't wait til Troy gets bounced from this list next week cause I'm running outta material. I Image.Googled the word "troy" and this is the best picture I could find.
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