Thighs Wide Shut Thighs Wide Shut

Wednesday, July 27

Long Tall Sally
Bowles-ed Over


I don't care what you all ocean spray cause Charly Church is the bees cheese in the Florida Keys!! These GQ snapples should help to convincevaughn you vincevaughnconartists. I'm so all up in her like me eating a turkey dinner that I should dump HRT the III and send her on the Trans-Siberian RR back at Leningradulations. Buttles how can I do that to her when she au jus tied Lohag the Wurstest the I's record as the mos interweb sleuthedages for a 5th straight week!! Plus we still have to deal wit Cpt Church's reforkulous Scientology statements. I got two idears that could easily turn my frown upside down in her crotchenstienville. One is by always doing this NSFWness by the beach (mayor) DAILY, and two, by signing a big money deal to be the face AND body of La Senza lingerie. Please make it so lord cause my mos beatoffable catalog that contains the Vibro-Jelly Vagina & PassionSkin Cock Stroker [both NSFW] has gone from a solid to a liquid to a air.

• Agassi ditches the swoosh for the three stripes. No word on how this will affect the value of the Nike Air Tech Challenge II lava color tennis shoes.

Forbes, the #1 source of Blogging according to knowone, picks their picks in the best in Blogs. Love for the suspect usuals, but no real sirprizes. I mean, where's the love for Bandwagon Boy? Anyone who's knowone who's banging someone's sister knows that he's tops in the Sports genre. The dude DID PRE-dick-t that 'the Great Lants Armstrong' would win the 'big Torda bike race'. [via Vegan, who should have been tops in Music]

Movie Annie, aka Aileen Quinn, sure grews up a whole lot hottier than stage Annie, played by poo-poo nasty head Nose McGee [via Chip of the Ole Block o Cheez]

• Related by name only: Annie's "Me Plus One" is the free thIghPod tune of the week

The Dumbest Rules In Sports

40-Year-Old Virgin, juss as I thought

The Adobe offices be mad cooler than yours. At this point, I'd settle for a cardboard box office. [via Datadazzler]

The Jerk (26th Anniversary Edition) DVD

Clinton Offered 40 Goats For Chelsea [via 40 Akers]

• Bid on the Bruce Jenner Decathlon Game

Stop Emo Haircuts! [beware of sound]

• Saw Last Days the last day before today. I'll abstain from commentary for now, but if yer watching a 97 minute movie and it feels like a 97zillionbillion minute movie you know yer in Gus van Sant's hands/Turkish prison. Howeva, the dude has a well trained eye for talent and tats (and unfortch pointless man sex). Props for employing the seldom used but Thighmaster approved Haasmiester, and alsofor (the new Okafor) introducing me to the fruitylicious Nicole 'Sid' Vicius (although the snap below reveals her odd todd nose, which is a secret Thigh Master turn on, it does not fully demonstrate the power of her Death Star o Hotness).